AIBU to change to a home birth at 38 weeks?

[Eyezswideshut]

I've had a low risk pregnancy and I am booked to give birth at a stand-alone MLU which is about 10 minutes from my house and 15 minutes transfer from the hospital. The hospital is about the same distance from my house.

I have my birth plan worked out and I want to stick to gas and air (can have at home) and don't think I'll want the pool (I like lukewarm baths since I've been pregnant and could have 1 of those in early labour if I want). The monitoring would be the same at home as the MLU. If I need extra monitoring at home or the MLU, I'd be transferred to hospital. Same if I wanted an epidural.

Me and DP have always been mildly worried about me going into labour and having to go in while his kids are in bed. We (including his ex) queried if it would be better if they dont stay for that reason until the baby is born but I dont want them to feel pushed out in any way even if we dont mean to.

My friend had a home birth 2 days ago (2nd baby) but I realised that actually I could do the same. I had a appt with MW today and she said I could change now but get on with it if I want to.

My mum thinks it seems risky to change so late on but I cant really understand why.

DP says his nan had all her babies at home so he doesn't think it is a big deal and he'll be shitting himself either way.

Does it sound unreasonably dangerous to you?

It ‘rarely’ starts off like an episode of eastenders. But that doesn’t mean it never happens. One in 50 women have clinically precipitous births - and more still have just fast or sudden onset. Both of my labours have been very sudden and very much like the movies, my first birth was my fastest birth. If you are judging your place of birth based on small risks of certain complications - precipitous birth is something to consider.

I'll keep an open mind on whether it is necessary to evacuate the kids if they are there on the day.

If it's a low risk pregnancy as you say then definitely go for it.

My fourth (and last) baby was born at home after an unpleasant experience of being 40 miles from the hospital and then having to sit (in the late stages of labour) while the world's longest goods train trundled over the crossing. Home birth was an incredible experience, so relaxed and easy. I knew my midwife well and she was also thrilled to have an actual baby to deliver and to know from day one. It couldn't have gone better, I didn't even use or need the gas and air.

You are an easy distance if anything goes wrong. Go for it!! And then come back and tell us how great it was

You've still got time so make plans. If you change your mind again at least you would have been prepared.

I planned a hb. Partly for childcare concerns, mainly because I didn't want to be stuck in a hospital and poked & prodded about unnecessarily. I didn't want a water birth either so didn't worry about a pool or anything.

I got a shower curtain and put an old duvet over the top. Made sure I'd got a bag packed so a) everything was in one place and b) if I needed to go to hospital no one would be scrabbling round the house chucking things in a bag.

It was great! My contractions started while we were out so we came home. I got some lunch, rang my mum to collect dd1. Rang MW who decided on balance rather than have her lunch and come over she was coming straight away. And from there it kind of went a bit chaotic.

My contractions kicked in big time and I went from 0-agony and pushing very, very quickly. DH rang our gp surgery as I was supposed to have a MW appt there that afternoon to let her know I was in labour so wouldn't be there. She immediately dropped her appointments and dashed over. She was 10 minutes away. Ds1 arrived a few minutes before both MW did. Dh caught him!

We got a gentle telling off for not calling an ambulance - why would we, we had planned a HB and knew the midwife was on her way, but we did take their point that they expected to be assisting. I also had to go up the hospital anyway as I had a second degree tear which they couldn't stitch at home.

So while I'd probably like to have changed some things, actually being at home in my own environment probably helped things move along a lot quicker. 2 hours from first contraction to holding a baby.

Knowing that the hospital is no further away that if you were at the MLU and they have no more facilities than a hb, tbh I'd go for the hb. You will get 2 midwives come out and they will be with you for the duration.

I think you need to do what’s best for you. If you want a homebirth, have one, but don’t do it because of your stepchildren.

if there is any risk at all, being whipped up to the hospital in 15 mins is going to be fine and won't delay emergency interventions. Any sign of distress the community midwifes get you there

This simply is not true. OP, I think home birth is a great option. And in your situation if you're stressed about the transporting and leaving the house it really could work for you. But please don't take things like this on MN as fact. There are issues that can arise and become an immediate, life threatening problem where 15 minutes is too long to wait. These things are rare so again I'm not saying this to cause you to change your mind, but being told it won't delay interventions and be fine is wrong and its ridiculous of posters to be saying that.

You are lucky enough to live in a country that has free healthcare available to you, with trained medical professionals in a hospital setting why wouldn’t you use that? Women don’t need to be giving birth at home

Also you post really sounds the thinking behind this is you might go in to labour when the step children are in bed. For goodness sake do NOT have a home birth for this reason

When you go in to labour it’s going to hurt, you will be in pain, you may be distressed so someone is going to have to send you step children home or whatever anyway. No child needs to see you in labour, it’s not a spectator sport.

If you really wanted a home birth it wouldn’t of taken you until 38 weeks to know it would it now??

If you wanted the home birth for you maybe it wouldn’t be such madness but from your posts here that isn’t the case

And with regards to childcare, either way plan on having someone (not dh) who can be at home for the children if you do want a home delivery.

Like i said, my eldest was picked up by nanny. But our home then wasn't big enough for me to be happy that she was entertained elsewhere in the house while I laboured.

Most homebirth plans in reality aren't much different from hospital ones. It's just the location which is different.

It isnt just the stepchildren. I've become really comfortable with the lower tech monitoring on the MLU but I am aware that some of my birth plan might be inhibited by how many people use the birth centre. It is extremely rare but sometimes they are so full that they have to tell you to go to the hospital anyway. From what my midwife said,the chances of me having to wait a while for a midwife to be free at the MLU or being told to go to the hospital is higher than my chances of a midwife not being able to attend my home birth. She asked me where I'd prefer to be waiting a while for a midwife (waiting room at MLU or on my way to hospital where I might have to wait vs home) and my answer was home. In either case if I felt something was wrong, I'd be heading to the hospital anyway.

My first was an unplanned home birth as I ended up giving birth on the bathroom floor . Had I not had risks in my second pregnancy then I 100% would have had a home birth again. Having now experienced both a home and hospital birth, if I had a third I would opt for a home birth if I had no complications in pregnancy. I found it much more relaxing and comfortable being in a familiar place.

@Eyezswideshut

Is this your first baby?
You sound very unreasonable and seem to have already decided what is going to happen during your labor. You do realise that babies come when they are ready and it's not a fun experience. Back in the days women had babies at home because they had no other choice... It wasn't because it's more relaxing. Having a baby is not relaxing and it's not about you. It's about the baby and the mom and it has to be handled professionally. So many women seem to plan their deliveries as if it's a holiday package. Anything can go wrong. Having said that I wish you all the best and hope everything goes ok for you.

Planning for things to not go wrong is not assuming they won't @sweetsally. It's just having a plan A, and then if you need to, having a plan B and C...

It certainly does not take 30 minutes to prep for a crash section at my hospital. My friend gave birth in July and it was 7 minutes from realising she needed one to the birth.

This may be moot anyway - not everyone goes into labour. My waters broke with no contractions, nothing happened so I was induced with a pessary and had a precipitate labour with a PP haemorrhage. There are so many variables!

I've had two homebirths. I actually chose to have DD3 at home because the care was of a significantly higher standard than at the hospital

The hospital is massively over stretched. I was told "Someone will be in shortly" so many times that DS was crowning when my MIL finally managed to find someone free and get them in.

With the homebirths one MW came once I was in labour and stayed. She called the second when the birth was close. I had much better care as they weren't dealing with 10 other women at various stages at the same time. My house is actually closer to the hospital as the MLU was so transferring wasn't a concern I had as it wouldn't take any longer

I can’t see why opting for a HB at 38 weeks is any different in terms of risk to opting for one at 20 weeks!

Also - I may be wrong about this - but it’s not clear to me that there’s much advantage to giving birth at a MLU over an HB. If anything you get more attention at a HB don’t you - because you get access to a dedicated team of midwives and you get two of them at a HB (at least you do in our area). Plus I assume your pain relief options the same at a HB as an MLU (ie gas and air and pethidine, but no diamorphine or epidural)?

It will be fine. I would have changed my mind around the same date but assisted home births aren’t allowed where I live now (of course you could give birth at home but no midwife or medical professional or doula or anyone is legally permitted to be there). If you do the research, home births are just as safe as hospital births and you’re close to the hospital Incase you do need medical intervention anyway. I don’t think it matters when you change your mind, for all the good of a birth plan you might as well not have one at all

You can't have pethidine at home in my area but I know some trusts do sign it off for midwives to carry out to patients at home.

Personally I wouldn't risk a first baby as a home birth.

Statistically first births are the ones that women struggle most with.

Second births as home births make much more sense as you have experienced labour / know how well you coped / have a real sense of what will and wont work for you.

It's a very small pool granted but of the first 10 people I can think of who have had their first babies in recent years I can only think of one who had a text book labour [she had chosen birth centre and had a very calm, empowering and all round lovely labour]

The only person I know who had opted for a home-birth ended up with quite the opposite (won't go into details but my friend was ambulanced in and it was a very tough EMCS for her)

I’ve not read through the thread.
I opted for a home birth. I had a very long early stage of labour. (4 days) and on day four I called the midwife out, I was terrified to go to hospital and she was brilliant and calmed me down. I did have a hospital appointment later that day for monitoring and saw a doctor, all was fine sent home again. Back in 2 days later for a scan. Had been having proper contractions for 2 days by then, was monitored again, my waters broke and they said I could go home for my home birth if I’d have wanted. But I was exhausted and I know ds wasn’t going to come out so I stayed and DH demanded they get a doctor and do an emcs about 15 hours later because it wasn’t progressing and I was even more exhausted. DS was fine and at no point at risk.
I was scanned late in pregnancy to check he wasn’t breach, which they do in my area for home births as they don’t like surprises

At any point during a home birth you can ask to go to hospital
So although I didn’t get a home birth and will be one of the failed statistics I’m glad I opted for one.
And the reason for the emcs ds was too big to exit any more are to be cs as I’m too small

Book your home with birth as you will need to organise it fast but you can change your mind at any time right up to the pushing stage. Many people who plan a home birth don’t have one at the last minute for a while host of reasons.

My 2 year old slept upstairs through my homebirth. We still had a bag packed for her, and somewhere for her to go, in case it was needed, but she didn't wake up at all.

I had a PPH afterwards and ended up in hospital anyway, but the whole birth felt so much safer than my previous hospital birth. Instead of being ignored for most of my labour I had two midwives sitting there quietly keeping an eye on things.

I felt much happier and less lost in my own home, and at no point did it feel scary or out of control until the PPH - that was horrible both at home and in hospital.

In my district you actually weren't allowed to decide till 37 weeks whether or not you were having a homebirth. Deciding at 38 weeks is fine.

You do realise that babies come when they are ready and it's not a fun experience. Back in the days women had babies at home because they had no other choice... It wasn't because it's more relaxing. Having a baby is not relaxing and it's not about you. It's about the baby and the mom and it has to be handled professionally. So many women seem to plan their deliveries as if it's a holiday package. Anything can go wrong.

I am the mum and I think being less stressed will help me feel okay about the birth, however it turns out. I'm not up at night thinking about the inevitable pain or the chance of a bad year,I've accepted those things. I'm thinking about where I'd feel most comfortable given my individual circumstances including my 2 stepkids.

Luckily I've encountered lots of women who did feel relaxed during their birth and even found it fun. I'm also learning that anything can go wrong IN LIFE so it is best to focus on the potential of good.

Out of interest, I assume it's community MW who attend home births? Not hopsital MW?

Home birth team midwife or community midwife.