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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to change to a home birth at 38 weeks?

72 replies

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 11:02

I've had a low risk pregnancy and I am booked to give birth at a stand-alone MLU which is about 10 minutes from my house and 15 minutes transfer from the hospital. The hospital is about the same distance from my house.

I have my birth plan worked out and I want to stick to gas and air (can have at home) and don't think I'll want the pool (I like lukewarm baths since I've been pregnant and could have 1 of those in early labour if I want). The monitoring would be the same at home as the MLU. If I need extra monitoring at home or the MLU, I'd be transferred to hospital. Same if I wanted an epidural.

Me and DP have always been mildly worried about me going into labour and having to go in while his kids are in bed. We (including his ex) queried if it would be better if they dont stay for that reason until the baby is born but I dont want them to feel pushed out in any way even if we dont mean to.

My friend had a home birth 2 days ago (2nd baby) but I realised that actually I could do the same. I had a appt with MW today and she said I could change now but get on with it if I want to.

My mum thinks it seems risky to change so late on but I cant really understand why.

DP says his nan had all her babies at home so he doesn't think it is a big deal and he'll be shitting himself either way.

Does it sound unreasonably dangerous to you?

OP posts:

Brown76 · 25/11/2019 14:37

I had a good Homebirth with the second, MLU (in a hospital with labour ward for first). Remember that you are advised to hang on at home as long as you can anyway, so actually good having midwives and pain relief on hand and being comfortable - they will advise you if you need to transfer or you can change your mind on the day and go into hospital if you feel you need more support. Travelling to MLU for me interrupted a normal labour and meant getting dressed, driving to hospital, arguing to be admitted etc and wanted to avoid all that second time.

Sweetchicken · 25/11/2019 14:43

I'm bias as I've had 2 great home births. If that's what you want, then go for it, just be prepared with hospital bag etc just in case. In terms of the children, are you/your partner/their mother, happy to let them witness the birth if theyre up and about?

JessWakefield86 · 25/11/2019 14:44

You sound very naive, OP. In fact, you sound just like me at 38 weeks pregnant, round about the time I was planning my intervention-free hypnobirth. Ha ha!

minisoksmakehardwork · 25/11/2019 14:49

@hammeringinmyhead - 30 minutes is I think guidance for max time for a crash section. Mine was 15 minutes. And it only took that long because I didn't already have an epidural so they had to give me a general anaesthetic.

minisoksmakehardwork · 25/11/2019 14:50

As in time from decision to doing section.

newmamm · 25/11/2019 15:05

I think home birth is a nice idea and there are some advantages over a hospital birth such as increased support and I'm sure some people have a very positive experience. However as I'v learnt you can have a textbook labour but a baby who likes to cause trouble such as meconium in the waters and decelerating heart rate. Then of course there's if you don't have a textbook labour and e.g. babies head is stuck. As pp have said a crash section is a step up from an emergency one and 15 mins travel time is a long time. The key thing you need to think about is whether you are comfortable to take on the risk of home birth, some people are and some people like me aren't.

Flumperama · 25/11/2019 15:06

I knew I would feel more comfortable and relaxed at home so that's why I chose homebirth for both my pregnancies. I also preferred the idea of the 1-1 attention of a mw (2-1 once you are actually delivering) instead of being one of many labouring women being attended to in a MLU/ hospital setting and potentially not getting the assistance needed. Both were smooth and straightforward and the mws were amazing.

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 15:06

If stepkids are up and about, someone will get them or if it is really early on, DP can drop them off somewhere.

I don't assume that I wont need to transfer, I just know there is a very good chance that I wont need to as well. I became comfortable with the risk of transfer from MLU so don't think it much different.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 15:09

@newmamm....

From what I have read, only thick meconium is a big concern and it only becomes a problem if the baby is distressed and they try and breathe. That is why they monitor more closely when they see it. So if it was visible we would transfer for closer monitoring. It can be normal especially after 40 weeks xx

OP posts:

jgjgjgjgjg · 25/11/2019 15:17

Have a look at the Birthplace study by Coxon. It confirmed that home is a very safe option for low risk first time Mums.

HoldMyLobster · 25/11/2019 15:23

However as I'v learnt you can have a textbook labour but a baby who likes to cause trouble such as meconium in the waters and decelerating heart rate

They broke my waters during my hospital birth. Thick meconium, lots of it.

I was then totally ignored for several more hours. Left to labour alone. No monitoring. Nothing.

It does make me raise my eyebrows when people talk about 'risk of homebirth' yet totally overlook the risks of a hospital birth.

ChanklyBore · 25/11/2019 16:03

Fucking cruel to laugh at a pregnant woman and call her naive.

Don’t do that. It’s not like we all get masses of experience giving birth, is it? In past times we would have seen it regularly, been a helper more than once, and seen the good, the bad and the ugly before it happened to us. But we don’t do that anymore, it’s like some kind of secret club and only once women are pregnant do others rear up with the horror stories and if positive thinking is maintained despite these, you call them naive! Crap behaviour.

OP, you sound like me when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Pragmatic, and considering all options and how they work for everyone, not just you. Not that attitude has anything to do with it anyway, but I had two intervention free home births. One with meconium.

selfhelpneeded · 25/11/2019 16:36

You sound very naive, OP. In fact, you sound just like me at 38 weeks pregnant, round about the time I was planning my intervention-free hypnobirth. Ha ha!

@JessWakefield86

That's really horrible. You can point out things don't always go to plan without laughing at someone.

Teateaandmoretea · 25/11/2019 17:47

Bizarre responses as usual on hb thread.

Yanbu OP to plan a homebirth at 38 weeks, what's the point in planning it till you've reached full term and are still low risk anyway? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think yabu though to have such a set plan about how it will go. You need to accept it's fairly likely you will end up transferring and having your baby in hospital. Also first labours usually take ages and you need to prepare for that, it's much more likely than a bba on the way to the MLU.

🙄re the risks - hospital has risks too. The OP is following individual medical advice from a medical professional. And MLU is pretty much the same as home anyway which is her other option, but no one ever questions that, just bizarre. You are better looked after at home is my experience.

The poster who referred to the past women had little if any antenatal care and no scans so there was a lot less unknown than there is now.

NoGuarantee · 25/11/2019 17:50

The issues with past homebirths were also down to a lot of other things such as sanitary conditions and maternal diet and nutrition. We aren't comparing like for like when we compare a HB now to a HB in the East End of London a la Call the Midwife.

Teateaandmoretea · 25/11/2019 17:54

@noguarantee you mean they don't come round on a bike any more with a little bag?

NoGuarantee · 25/11/2019 17:56

Haha, and all live communally in the local Nazareth House? Maybe they do! My home birth is booked for the next week or so. I'll update you!

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 19:08

I think yabu though to have such a set plan about how it will go.

What do you think is "set" about my plan?

When I spoke about imagining having to wake the kids up in a hurry, I was thinking of a worse case scenario. It is a niggling worry that it will be like that and it will be very stressful than me saying it will definitely be that way.

I've always been open to an epidural. I'm not against them. In fact, when I was first pregnant,I couldn't imagine doing it without one. I think as my body has changed and I can feel how the baby is positioned inside me, I'm more confident in the birthing process plus I've done tons of research. If it is too much for me or goes on for too long, I'm more than happy to transfer and have an epidural or hormone drip. I just have a good chance of things not going that way too.

OP posts:

Teateaandmoretea · 25/11/2019 19:10

Sensible balanced post. It was the bit about wanting to stick to gas and air in your OP - I was just making the point that you can only really try for a homebirth and what happens happens .

Original poster

Eyezswideshut · 25/11/2019 19:23

Oh the reason I do want to stick to gas and air at the MLU is because I've had morphine before and didnt like it at all. Made me feel the worse kind of drunk. So my original plan for the MLU was gas and air and maybe some cool water in the pool for early labour (not at the birth as baby needs warm water) but if I need more than that, I'd transfer for an epidural. This is another reason a home birth makes sense for me because I wouldn't have pethidine anyway

OP posts:

HoldMyLobster · 25/11/2019 19:32

Even if you make it to hospital there's a chance you won't be offered an epidural. The first time I gave birth, 14 women gave birth in one night in a fairly small hospital, and no one got an epidural.

Luckily I'd already been told it was unlikely I'd be allowed one because I have a clotting disorder, so in my head an epidural was never an option.

Also luckily the pain wasn't so bad I felt I needed one.

Those poor women who had planned on having one, or who really needed one, I feel very sorry for.

RCooling · 25/11/2019 19:35

Hello there op, congratulations!
I started at home with a homebirth with my first baby a few months ago with the nhs, and it was lovely, and i was the same distances as you are away from the hospital. I had to be transferred late on because my baby was back to back and ended up having a natural birth in the hospital with gas and air, but I wouldn’t change things at all, it was great getting so far along at home, if the baby hadn’t of turned it would have been fine. The only thing you’ve got to do is get a home birthing kit delivered before you give birth, it’s got all the emergency equipment if they need it. They might also try to scare you out of it at the home assessment, they tell you awful stories, but if you want a home birth, go for it! You’re near enough to the hospital if anything goes wrong anyways! Hope you have as nice a birthing experience as possible, wherever you decide to have it :)

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