I have an old friend of 30+ years. For the last few years every time I've seen her she's insisted in on paying. Sometimes it's just coffee. Sometimes it's a posh place she has chosen. I've repeatedly told her I'd like to get my own or pay this time. She always insists and it's difficult in public (I think) to have an argument about it so I've given in, while telling her clearly it's unnecessary. She and her OH probably earn 4 times what we do, but we're not skint at all either and I can definitely pay my share as long as we don't go anywhere too posh. It's come to a head as she has suggested meeting up again for a meal before Christmas, and I know she will expect to choose the place and pay to 'treat me' as she has said in the past. It wouldn't be in lieu of a Christmas present because we get presents for each other too. I've said I don't want her to pay again but from her reply I'm not sure she really understands my issue. I really tried to express that she was being very generous, as I don't want to sound ungrateful.
Am I being ridiculous? She's such an old friend and I'd rather meet somewhere low key we can both afford and split the bill. It's what I'd do with other close friends. I feel like she's breaking a social norm and it's really bugging me for some reason. I don't want to be 'treated' and it just highlights the differences between our situations.
Am I being unreasonable? Would you accept this unasked for generosity? Or is something else going on (for her or me)? I'm genuinely curious to know what others make of it.