Looked at on tube journey?!

[dottiedodah]

Dont know what to think really .On day out in London. DH standing by the door on tube train. I have a seat . Youngish Chap a few seats opposite side to me keeps looking at me, feeling nonplussed as in my 50s ! Any thoughts?!

[SoupDragon]

Of course men stare at women, have none of you ever met a man?

🙄 yes. Every single man spends his whole day staring at women. Every single one.

[FredaFrogspawn]

If he made you feel uncomfortable with his stare, there’s a pretty good chance he meant to make you feel uncomfortable.

[wanderings]

@mencken faulty invisibility cloak
A stranger suddenly said to my DH out of the blue "I like your T-shirt" (Hogwarts); she smiled and pointed to her Harry Potter book. Just then two young ladies who'd just been on the studio tour (with the scarves to prove it) got on, so all tube rules were broken with a mini Harry Potter party between strangers, complete with selfies!

[CSIblonde]

It's London, so make eye contact & smile & he'd have reacted like you were a mad axe murderer & not looked again. Pervy guys on the tube staring or grinding into to you when your squashed in is bog standard. I've got off a few times because no matter where I moved or turned to place my bag between us, they've moved too to maintain body contact. Now I'm older I'm not getting it any more, which is nice.

[Slumberly]

@TiddlerontheRoof If you’re one of the one in a thousand Londoners who initiates conversation with strangers then crack on but it’s certainly not the norm. Like I said in my experience above older women can get away with “eccentric” behaviour like that but it’s different coming from a bloke.

I work in theatre too, though not an actress. I don't initiate conversations with strangers as a matter of course, but it's this ridiculous stereotype that Londoners freak out completely if someone speaks to us, looks at us or smiles at us on the tube that annoys me.

I'm not talking about men being weird, lecherous or intimidating. I just mean normal people who occasionally smile o r exchange a comment/glance.

I wouldn't say I practise 'eccentric behaviour' either. Perhaps it's because I'm often travelling with my kids who are quite chatty, but I have never found the tube to be this place where everyone stares mute & stony-faced & falls over in horror if someone asks them something.

[Slumberly]

Perhaps. It's never struck me as being particularly weird. I don't go around asking strangers about their medical conditions, but I don't have palpitations if someone speaks to me either.

(I'm a 3rd generation Londoner, born and bred)

[Slumberly]

(And I’m eight generation - why??)

Just pointing out that I'm not a wide-eyed newcomer blissfully unaware of the norms of London life.

Ofc me telling someone she has lovely shoes isn't the same thing as a creepy guy staring. (Nor for that matter a freaky guy wanking, or following, or making extremely explicit comments, all of which had happened on the tube by the time I was 12!)

[astralweaks]

The opening post has a completely different tone to the OP’s response to Hazel’s post about the stalker.

[astralweaks]

The first post has got a sort of What do others think this little rapscallion was up to? , feel.

[Havaina]

I used to get the tube every day for years. So many pervs. One Middle Ages man was sat with a woman who may have been his wife. I was sat opposite and he stared at me continuously. My usual inclination would be to look away but that time I thought fuck it, why should I look away, he is the one staring at me. So I stared him dead in the eye until he looked away about 20 seconds later. Excruciating but worth it.

[dottiedodah]

Astral weaks I am sure I didnt mean it to come over like that in my opening post .The situation was uncomfortable and somewhat strange TBH. I was genuinely at a loss really . Usually everyone looks down and never at anyone else .However thank you all for your replies . I am sure I dont look like The lady on "gold Digger", but hopefully not Nan to a 20 something either!(Own SON only in his 20s!

[Aridane]

Agree, @astralweaks

[Booboosweet]

Who cares? I doubt he's still thinking about it. Could be any reason.

[blueshoes]

Whoever is chatting on a tube in London is not doing it doing rush hour and is probably in zone 4. I would help someone who needed directions or suitcase carrying up the stairs or buggy lifting out of a train or giving up a seat but No One lingers to chat after that. That would be embarrassing and mortifying.

[Aridane]

Buses are pretty chatty and friendly though! (well, they are in SE London)