to be a bit miffed about this?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

This is such a first world problem but it's annoyed me a bit and I'd like to know if IABU..

A friend and I went shopping the other day and we went into an expensive designer shop where I spotted a coat that I really really loved. I would never normally spend that much money on anything but I've had a terrible few months and I said to her that I was considering buying it for myself. I didn't want to completely impulse buy though so I tried it on to see how it looked, with the idea of then waiting until I got home and ordering it online if I still wanted it.

While I was trying it on, my friend was also looking round the shop and when I said I was ready to go she said she wanted to buy something.

She bought 'my' coat!

AIBU to think that this is a bit mean? She knows how hard things have been, and she knew that I was seriously thinking about buying it, and she just bought it for herself! We spend a lot of time together so it will look really odd if I buy the same one now.

Agree with previous posts, find a better friend.

housebuyer I guess it's all relative - £1k to me is 'unattainable' rather than 'expensive'

I am definitely not well off. The money I was planning to use was given to me after a recent and very traumatic bereavement.

Thanks for all your replies. I think I will probably still buy it and just wear it better

That would really annoy me too. She wasn't even discreet about it. I think it was a dick move. I wouldn't go shopping with her again.

She's a show-off, flashing the cash.
She's probably deeply miserable and buying the coat you coveted made her feel better. The spiteful cow.
I'd find a better coat and a better friend.

Did you post about this recently? I'm having deja vu.

At least she was honest. She had the right to love it and buy it too. She can buy what she wants. I think there's a deeper issue, are you jealous of her in other ways?

I think this must have happened some time ago and then she donated it to a charity shop where the same scenario happened, which was put on MN a few weeks ago.

Because there can't be two coats that are so desirable that two grown people fight over it, surely?

Harlot I think there was a similar thread regarding a coat in a charity shop recently? That one wasn't me though - I don't just go around looking at coats and waiting for other people to buy them!

Witchend I'm not fighting with her about it. I haven't said a word to her actually. I just wondered if I was BU in being a bit put out by what she did.

LadyM I'm not jealous of her at all. We've been friends for a long time and she has done many lovely things for me, as have I for her. I am just a bit annoyed by this one specific incident, no deeper issues, sorry to disappoint!

Buy it if you love it!

She should have discussed it with you. I find it a bit odd of her, it says something about the friendship.

Definitely buy the coat. Her behaviour is very strange. As you were trying it on and saying you loved it did she say anything?
So she didn’t even try it on herself and give you a head’s up? She just bought it?

A member of my immediate family did this with wedding dress I had chosen but not yet ordered. Glad it rained on her big day.

Welp. It looks like you'll have to fight her in the street. Thats quite a baffling thing to do (kind of reminds me of the lady putting the cat in the wheelie bin...just why?!)

mbb1 A wedding dress?! That is SO much worse

Awful friend.

Go buy the coat. Just don't wear it when you are with her!

I don't see this as a 'non issue' at all. Yes, it's about a coat but, more importantly, it's about the friendship. Friends are kind to one another, they have inside information about each other and normally try to take the other person's feelings into account based on that established bond.

Your friend did a mean thing. She is either shockingly lacking in self awareness and empathy or she actively sought to get one over on you. Either way I wouldn't waste my time on a 'friend' like this.

Buy it, wear it, spill something that will stain on hers 😂

I'm surprised that so many people are dismissing this. I had a friend who would do things like this and it pissed me off no end.

I totally understand why this has taken the shine off the coat, which would have been an extravagant purchase and something to really enjoy. I think it was really fucking mean of your friend to swoop in and buy it for herself without even asking if you minded. It's petty and selfish.

It's all fine and well saying "just buy the coat anyway" but unless you're 5, nobody wants to wear the same clothes as their best friend.

I'm not sure. My friend and I have similar taste and have bought the same items in the past. Sometimes I haven't because I don't have the money / can't justify the cost, and friend has still bought it. And vice versa.

I think it's odd that she didn't express any like for it beforehand and then bought it anyway. Maybe she was doing it to be spiteful - it's hard to tell.

Zombie thread!

Yeah, of course she’s being a cow! Did she not even try it on in the shop? Buy it any way. Wear it around her. If anyone comments, tell them exactly what happened.