to be a bit miffed about this?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

This is such a first world problem but it's annoyed me a bit and I'd like to know if IABU..

A friend and I went shopping the other day and we went into an expensive designer shop where I spotted a coat that I really really loved. I would never normally spend that much money on anything but I've had a terrible few months and I said to her that I was considering buying it for myself. I didn't want to completely impulse buy though so I tried it on to see how it looked, with the idea of then waiting until I got home and ordering it online if I still wanted it.

While I was trying it on, my friend was also looking round the shop and when I said I was ready to go she said she wanted to buy something.

She bought 'my' coat!

AIBU to think that this is a bit mean? She knows how hard things have been, and she knew that I was seriously thinking about buying it, and she just bought it for herself! We spend a lot of time together so it will look really odd if I buy the same one now.

No way Party, then everyone will have one!!

Buy the coat if you love it .

Buy it! I’ve had the same from a so called friend, I was looking at a jacket about to buy and she promptly bought one 😩 practically barged me out the way so go for it and treat yourself and by the way, these so called friends aren’t friends at all

I can understand why it annoyed you but I’d just buy it anyway

This is literally no issue.
Be flattered that you have such good taste.

In my mind an expensive designer selling a coat would easily be £1k... if you're in that type of shop debating a coat then you are well off. No two ways about that one.

My DM’s friend did this with a sofa. DM went shopping with her friend and picked a sofa, arranged to come back and pay for it when she got paid. Then when DM got on her bus home, her friend (who didn’t even want a sofa) sneaked back to the shop and bought DM’s sofa. When it was delivered she texted DM a photo and DM was totally taken aback.

Yes, I know more than one person can have the same sofa (or coat). But it just totally took the shine off it and DM thought she’d look like she was copying if she got the same one.

Show us the coat! We can either encourage you to buy it and to hell with the so called friend - or tell you it’s awful and criticise it so you won’t want it anymore.......

1. Share the coat on here - MN will have found you one which will knock the spots off it within minutes

1. Text friend with pic of better alternative coat (ONCE YOU HAVE BOUGHT IT!) with the message ' Hmm I knew that something was telling me that Coat 1 wasn't the one! I've bought this instead, what do you think? Just knocks Coat 1 into a tin hat doesn't it!!'

1. Two seconds later send faux-sorry text 'Oh sorry about that! Forgot for a second that you bought that other coat! tIt's nice too of course'

Was it the last coat and discounted? If not, YABU

Find a better coat. Make it your new mission. Don't give in!

You could just buy your coat anyway, & pay exactly the amount of attention to your friend already having one as she did to your initial desire to buy it ...

Really. Why let somebody else's actions take the shine off something you clearly love, which would be a big one-off purchase for you?

PS your chum is mean.

It's not even about the coat really

Well it is if you're saying you probably won't it get it now

My friends and colleagues often ask eachother where we bought something. No issue with the other person then buying it, we take it as a compliment to our taste.

I do agree she shouldn't have got it there and then, but it's human nature to want something that someone else likes, it becomes mor desirable. In the same that when something is sold out, we want it more because it becomes unattainable.

Did you say anything to friend - eg hey, I saw it first, I get dibs on wearing it when we're out together?

Is it her perceived selfishness that riles you or that she is better off than you?

Buy yourself that coat and wear it every time you see her - she will soon stop wearing hers as you will look like you are trying to dress as twins.

She was spiteful, yes.

Like a PP said, make it your mission this winter to find a better coat.

Buy it for yourself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with two close friends owning and wearing the same coat.

Its unreasonable to get possessive about a coat.

A similar thing happened to me OP. I was going on a cruise with a friend. I bought an evening dress to wear on it, next day this 'friend' went back to the shop and bought an identical dress. When I saw it I said 'that's exactly the same as the one I bought' (she had seen me buy it and had made me model it back at the house we were sharing and said it looked nice).

And she said 'so it is - you won't be able to wear yours now, or we'll look ridiculous'

I was gobsmacked. She's an ex friend.

What you do depends on your level of friendship - if you want the coat really badly, ditch the friend and you'll never be seen together in matching coats, or ditch the coat and find something else you like, or just wear it and ignore the fact you are both wearing the same coat.

It might be childish but I know I'd feel annoyed if I were in the same situation as you too OP. I also know I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from saying something to her when she bought it! Like 'ummmmm?!? Well I guess I can't buy it anymore so thanks!!!' And then I would have been a stroppy cow for the rest of the shopping trip! Like I said probably childish but you can't help how you feel!

Buy it and wear it with pride! Don't let her spoil it for you.

Show the coat.

I wouldn’t want to wear the same type of expensive coat as a friend.

I would be so tempted to wait until she’s wearing and then just look thoughtfully at her and say how glad you are that you didn’t buy it, and waste all that money.

Buy the coat, loose her.