Aibu to ask what your pets online dating profile would look like?

[nethunsinthatway]

My dog would be:

Handsome chap seeks female for long walks, bottom sniffing and cuddles. Naturally a little needy by nature, I can guarantee that I’ll
Give you lots of attention. Am a bit of a mummy’s boy, but am sure my happy charm (and ability to chase a ball) will win you over.

@BelfastNonBlonde hmmm attractive!😂

This is such a lovely thread.

@BelfastNonBlonde that picture has made my day. I'll be chuckling until at least lunchtime.

WakingUpNow I'm afraid your boar is destined to be single fur-ever if he thinks he'll be the boss .

We had two neutered boars who were married to the same two sows ( GP3 was husband 1 , GP6 was husband 2) at different times .
GP6 then eventually married GP7

They don't do monogamy , they are "Pigamists"

Every marriage they knew their place (ie last) , that's what made their bondings sucesfull

Biscuit by name and i am a big handsome long haired orange and white boy, i like my food , i dont do cuddles on demand i like to dictate when i will let you admire me, this will only last five minutes before i swipe you, dont worry about getting pregnant as i have had the snip, getting older so i like to sleep quite a lot, looking for a lady cat to explore the local area with me during the day

Inconsistent, can disappear for days and weeks on end

Night owl

Likes my own company

Poor eyesight

Sleeps for 5 months of the year

May not be suitable for a long term relationship

(Garden hedgehog)

Shy playful girl black & white lush fluffy fur with curves seeks boy cat with similar love of salmon flavours & indoor sports....

I started writing one for the dog and its made me realise he has no place on a dating website, he should be in jail

Here's my sexy profile pic

Pretty black and white girl, very long whiskers and silky coat.
Likes catnip, swearing and vomiting.
Looking for a boy cat who knows his place, which is below me in the pecking order for I am the queen.

Feisty and independent, I'm not looking for anything too heavy. I'll take you or leave you as per my mood of the moment. Looking for independent like minded soul, for long runs on the beach but equally, someone with a full life that I dont necessarily be part of.
Please, noone needy, clingy or bed sharing. And BTW, my human is mine alone. Find your own.

1. Beautiful but grumpy older lady who hates everyone seeks companion who will give her lots of space and is content to laze around doing nothing all day. Preference given to those who share their food.

1. Middle aged green eyed lady looking for friendship, must be patient and willing to put up with my constant muttering noises, to hang out with and help me cover the sofa entirely with old fur. Must be amenable to face licking.

Distinguished but slightly creaky older gentleman seeks lady with GSOH for gentle rough and tumble, medium-length country walks, ground-to-air relocation of phessies, and thorough smell investigations. Must enjoy country pursuits, and be prepared to share all foods and toys. An interest in dead things and fox poo would also be great!

The second best place on the sofa awaits.

These are fab
My silly rescue Border Collie Cross

Dashing young gentleman with beautiful black coat seeks companion to chase squirrels and leaves with, hide together when there's any weird noises and/or bark together like idiots about said noises, plus mutual grooming when we get shitey rear ends from soft poo

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys

Mature strawberry blond gent seeks feline female for chasing phantom balls of fluff. Jumping out from under the bed and yowling at intermittent times throughout the night. Choose mi (ow) for fun and frolics.😍

Beautiful, generously proportioned bottom, eyelashes to die for. Love me! Rub my belly and I'll love you forever

These are great! (And clearly, there are a lot of labs looking for lurve )

I must have owned the only cats in the world who couldn't abide Dreamies, judging by the cat ads!

I use my ears to express myself. I look gorgeous but I'm actually a complete bastard. Looking for any species or gender who can cope with my domineering personality. Do not bring your human to my house or I will kill them. I'm also secretly a bit of a mummy's boy.

Pretty young tabby girl cat seeks big strong protective male to help fight that big ginger one 3 doors down that i never win against.
I like my home comforts and am a bit of a mummy s girl so you must like humans.
I like hunting but i do this alone so dont worry if you re not into mice catching.
I have beautiful green eyes that all the humans adore and I m very chatty.
By the way I m 2 in human years and have to be home by dark (overprotective humans).

Gatta di Strozzi

I am self partnered, now piss off the lot of you (especially that annoying black and white bastard from three doors down who keeps trying to break in).

My dog:

Stressed out bitch seeks laid back male for domination. Must like long, long, long walks in the country and being dominated. Not bothered about food or other things that 'norms' enjoy. High energy, high needs males need not apply. Did I mention the domination thing?

Oh there are some beauties here

Small vivacious chatty brunette seeks male, for fun times in the garden. Must have boundless energy, like chatting, fit in with my friendship group, and like nesting and being inquisitive.
Pretty garden sparrow.

Sleepy little mummy's boy seeks female for food, constant reassurance and tummy rubs.

(He's 10 weeks old and a bit unsure of his new home)

Cat 1. Furry and grumpy older lady, seeks ... absolutely no-one. All other cats are complete bastards, as are most humans. Just go away and let me sleep in peace.
Cat 2. Squeeky and bouncy black and white girl seeks friendly chum for games involving picking up leaves and grass. May also involve small worms, the occasional cable tie, and moths. Would prefer to meet outdoors, as on no account will you be allowed to enter my home.