To hate my DH's Tory politics?

[tearsforsneers]

DH is a staunch Tory, always has been. Privately educated and long career in the military.
My background is more working class - brought up in a single parent family, not on benefits but my mum worked bloody hard so we would have a good start.

I can't bear how he supports the Tories - I find what they've done to the country (and how the future looks under them) so bleak.
Similarly, he says he's embarrassed by my support of labour, who he says are a total shambles.

We've agreed not to discuss politics but that seems a shame after five years together. I love and adore him in every other respect though we've never so vehemently disagreed in our views.

AIBU to love him yet feel uncomfortable at his political standpoint?

My DH and I have fairly different political stances as well.

He has always supported the Tories / voted conservative in every election afaik.

What I find interesting about our differences is that I probably should be much more conservative (if you just looked at us on paper)...
He was raised by a single mother, went to state schools etc.
I was privately educated and had a fairly privileged upbringing. (being with DH actually made me even more aware of this, occasionally. We sometimes still surprise each other when it comes to fairly basic stuff.)

I am from a different country. It's historically much more conservative than the UK. and seeing as I am a female... That did probably impact my political opinions.

My father used to be a politician and I personally rather 'like' politics. But what matters to me is that we can have a discussion... A well reasoned, spirited but still respectful discussion.

It took DH some time tbh but we have that nowadays. That's incredibly important imo.

how fixed in his views is he? Does he shut you down, or does he respect your views? For ex, I find people who grind on and on about their entrenched political views, whatever political party they align themselves to, are absolute arses.

I absolutely agree with this. Knowing how to respectfully disagree is a fairly important 'skill' imo.

I really do think that people who can't see any good in any type of politcal view than their own are probably not very clever.

Abso-bloody-lutely

I find people who grind on and on about their entrenched political views, whatever political party they align themselves to, are absolute arses.

I agree. It’s the sign of someone who is totally and blindly in the grip of an ideology. It’s incredibly boring and they never change anyone else’s viewpoints anyway. If anything, the point-scoring and put-downs just alienate and further entrench the “opposition”.

Why don't you and DH find an online course (mooc) on politics to do together? They're usually free.

Could help you to see each other's points of view and have more productive discussions.

There will always be right wing and left wing politics, they're defined in opposition to each other. Both sides can be motivated by either altruism or by self-interest. I'd never vote Tory but I can respect people who do if I think they're coming from the right place.

lakielady The leader's personal beliefs, or those of any other individual, are irrelevant. Nope, as individuals they make the policy of the party, which their beliefs feed into. If their beliefs are irrelevant, why all the furore about Boris at times?

EasyAndy I think if trident is the most robust deterrent then we should keep it, as cynical as trident is (it's not meant to be a first strike deterrent, it's whole point is vengeance) but ultimately I'd like to see a world without nuclear weapons. It's not going to happen. The knowledge of how to make them and use them is out there.

I don't think Trident is cynical, but preventative - MAD evidently works, as those of us born during the Cold war and are still here will attest.

I Was brought up to make up my own mind look at the evidence behind the spin from all parties by my parents I don’t have a long term political party & neither did they I have just been party watching
To say that labour is in shambles given the performance of the conservatives and Lib Dem’s since 2010 is ignoring their monumental incompetence & arrogance across all departments I certainly don’t believe labour have all the answers but to me they are willing to try
The conservatives have normalised hate discrimination homelessness a shambolic train service & an nhs that’s being privatised and an unprecedented school cuts
When did it become ok for politicians to lie repeatedly and get a free pass with the media
Anyone who criticises or asks questions about this government is labelled an activist or a leftie . I find this shift very disturbing & feel anything ( almost ) is better than another Tory governmen