Like my boss, now what?

[FlixAndChill]

Hi Mumsnet

Long time lurker, occasional poster, name changed for obvious reasons... see below.

I was not exposed to the realities of life growing up. I was born abroad and we had house staff, I went to a great school... at one point I even had a chauffeur and a bodyguard. I know, sounds surreal.

I came to the UK and attended a private school. I met great people, I dated nice people - all private school boys with rich parents to put it bluntly. I then took on a professional job where it was the same type of people again.

I wanted to do something different and took a job in a small business. The MD who I report to is like no one I ever met before. He is only a few years older than me but so mature for his age. He went to a local school with lower class parents. He talks about the world as he sees it. He swears a lot like... I think you are f... awesome. Etc.

Now, he thinks I’m a snob. I really am not. He thinks that I’m only nice to him because he’s my boss. I told him again and again that I’m here because I want to work for him. We clashed. And I realise that I really like him in a romantic way.

In my mind, he is that real down to earth person, the genuine thing. Am I deluded?

A different species? You've over-egged it, mate.

OP is writing some kind of chicklit. I recognise the implausibly staged plots and unbelievable conversations. I feel like putting down this book.

He might not want to be your bit of rough

And in the UK, it's considered rather vulgar to harp on about wealth, just so you are aware. Especially when it's your parents. Just because you went to a school that your parents paid for doesn't automatically make you superior - indeed, there's a definite snobbery in this country around people who pay for education because they can, rather than because it's to access the most suitable school for their child. Why does your boss even know about your life of privilege, and the fact that you don't need to work? (I am assuming this as you say that your salary doesn't cover your outgoings)

This has to be a trial run for some sappy oligarch's-daughter-meets-Mellors-type shtick, surely ?

Waits patiently for the plot twist where the boss restages the Diet Coke ad from the 90s

I don't want you to be no slave, I don't want you to work all day...

I kind of get what you mean OP. I lived abroad until I was 16 and met a wide variety of people. But when I moved back to England I did become very curious about types of men I hadn’t met. Be that different races and different classes. And I did date men who looked or sounded different from anyone I had met before as I wanted to experience new perspectives. I also understand that when you have mainly mixed with a certain type of person it can be very refreshing to meet the type of person who speaks their mind and is not repressed by social niceties. I think you are not wording this very well, that’s all. But, that aside, he is your boss and it would be a bad idea to pursue him if you want to do well in your career. Plus, from what you’ve said, he hasn’t given you a reason to think he is interested in you in that way. Best thing you can do is to widen your social circle and make an effort to make friends who come from all walks of life.

No wonder you name changed you coward

What an utter horrible snob you sound

Just leave him alone

Species really got me . How f'king DARE YOU

As for the actual employee you mentioned wtf is it to YOU ?

Regardless of either background, getting involved with your boss is a mistake. If you're serious about it, leave and see you really want a relationship. If you want your job, look on tinder for a good time.

God, you sound like a complete knob to be honest.

Is he married or has a partner? If not just tell him

@namina we are both single and young!

“we are both single and young!”

Yay!

Jumped the shark, is that the term?

OP, the way you talk about people, I'd be surprised if anybody would.

Shagging your boss usually ends in disaster.

Find yourself a new job, then shag him (if he's interested obviously).

He might not want to be your bit of rough

Let's face it, he probably does - most you g single men won't turn down a shag; whether he'd want a relationship, who knows.

@Sandals19 I’m not saying that I want a relationship.

I agree with the find a new job and then shag him then! If your both free and single why not he probably feels the same. Definitely seems to be chemistry there.

Tbh, I think people (Including me) may possibly be being a bit mean to the OP. Maybe she’s a young person in her first real job, etc.

OP, it doesn’t matter what “class” you think you come from. I always think people with real class find it effortless to make others feel comfortable and can adapt to whatever situation presents. You don’t need to hold yourself apart from others with all this talk about “different species.” Don’t worry about it. People get together all the time from different cultures, languages etc etc. This is nothing really.

Wanting a fling with your boss is the worst idea in the world. Talk about career ending move.

Bless you, your novel sounds poor

He might not want to get involved with a woman with money and brains.. Men can be funny about things like that.

Yeah, stupid poor women are just what most men are after!!

msromanoff has a point. Don't shit where you eat.

OP, do you think he actually likes you? And does he fancy you? These are the key questions (apart from if you got accidentally preggers, whether the DNA of your cross-species offspring would be viable 😉😀) (joking!) ...

I won’t tell him I fancy him... I’m old fashioned in certain ways

This isn't relevant to whether you should shag your boss or not but:

Not wanting to risk rejection by letting someone know you're attracted to them isn't anything to do with "being old fashioned". It's just straightforward scary to make yourself vulnerable in that way, and it's OK to admit that. You don't need to dress it up as some charming old fashioned quirk, that is unique to you, and other people don't suffer from.

Why did you post all that irrelevant shit? You fancy your boss.

Am I deluded?

I don't know. I don't know either of you or anything relevant to the scenario.

OP, there are creative writing courses you can go on. It might help you create more plausible characters, as opposed to different 'species'