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Original poster

Like my boss, now what?

103 replies

FlixAndChill · 23/11/2019 06:39

Hi Mumsnet

Long time lurker, occasional poster, name changed for obvious reasons... see below.

I was not exposed to the realities of life growing up. I was born abroad and we had house staff, I went to a great school... at one point I even had a chauffeur and a bodyguard. I know, sounds surreal.

I came to the UK and attended a private school. I met great people, I dated nice people - all private school boys with rich parents to put it bluntly. I then took on a professional job where it was the same type of people again.

I wanted to do something different and took a job in a small business. The MD who I report to is like no one I ever met before. He is only a few years older than me but so mature for his age. He went to a local school with lower class parents. He talks about the world as he sees it. He swears a lot like... I think you are f... awesome. Etc.

Now, he thinks I’m a snob. I really am not. He thinks that I’m only nice to him because he’s my boss. I told him again and again that I’m here because I want to work for him. We clashed. And I realise that I really like him in a romantic way.

In my mind, he is that real down to earth person, the genuine thing. Am I deluded?

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 23/11/2019 09:00

Op I don't mean to sound dismissive and I'm certainly not trying to diminish your feelings but this all just sounds like a particularly bad Mills and Boon novel. Although I don't expect you've come across those Grin

easyandy101 · 23/11/2019 09:01

this all just sounds like a particularly bad Mills and Boon novel.

Grin

Came to say the same

TartanTexan · 23/11/2019 09:10

It’s not Lottie Lion re: Alan Sugar? That’s a ‘niche’ workplace situation?!

Is he single, OP?

FavouriteSoul · 23/11/2019 09:24

It’s not Lottie Lion re: Alan Sugar?

Surely she wouldn't be so lower class as to post about it on Mumsnet?!

soccerbabe · 23/11/2019 13:59

in the unlikely event that this is all for real, sounds like he's got you sussed - you are only nice to him and considering him as a romantic interest because he's the boss. The IT guy just wouldn't do Hmm, after all.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/11/2019 14:31

You remind me very much of a poster who perpetually asks if so-and-so fancies her, coming up with new and not very interesting variations on a dull theme. Sad.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 23/11/2019 14:51

It’s not Lottie Lion re: Alan Sugar? That’s a ‘niche’ workplace situation?!

Now that’s all I’m going to be able to think of each Wednesday night... Eww!!

I also read your OP and thought it was a bad Netflix romcom / Mills and Boon novel. No one I know has ever actually fancied their boss or fantasised about shagging a ‘lower/working class’ person because they were ‘lower/working class’.

I don’t think he likes you at all. He is using the old saying to judge you:

Never judge someone by how they treat their superiors. Look at how they treat their inferiors.

Original poster
FlixAndChill · 23/11/2019 15:11

I’m not going to apologise for wanting to shag someone because he is different to what I’m used to!

I don’t fantasise about him because he is my boss. I fantasise about him because he represents something. He is from a different background and has defied all odds to build something meaningful.

The junior staff issue was not me being mean. It was a junior staff member who was given a great opportunity by the business to go on training and better herself. She chose not to. I was not impressed by her but he wanted me to see her point of view.

OP posts:
lumity · 23/11/2019 15:19

It’s a bit odd to fancy someone because of the social class they represent in your mind Flix. On that basis, you could be attracted to 90% of the male population Confused.

lumity · 23/11/2019 15:23

Also, as for defying all odds, what does that enemy mean? Many, many people from all walks of life build up businesses. My DH came here as a young child with refugee parents and now employs over a thousand people, from graduate to director level. It’s the individual that counts, not their background.

lumity · 23/11/2019 15:23

even not enemy!

MsRomanoff · 23/11/2019 15:30

He didnt defy all odds OP.

Plenty of us from working class backgrounds are successful. It's more difficult, but not unheard of Again, he isnt a rare breed animal.

It's like you are in awe of the fact that he is of a lower class, yet made something of himself. Its coming across as hero worship.

This is what he means by you are snobby. He has picked up in the fact that you are amazed someone from his background could have done something with his life.

It pisses me off no end when people are shocked that I am director. Mainly because I am female and my parents are working class. Its patronising.

Dict · 23/11/2019 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverySurfer · 23/11/2019 15:57

In effect, what it boils down to is that you fancy a bit of rough who happens to be your boss.

If you have any interest in keeping your job - don'T.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/11/2019 16:02

Maybe she didn't want to "better herself", maybe she was comfortable in her own skin and confident in her abilities? Not everyone wants to progress at work, and that's fine. To be sneery about it makes you a bit of a dick to be honest.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 23/11/2019 17:28

The junior staff issue was not me being mean. It was a junior staff member who was given a great opportunity by the business to go on training and better herself. She chose not to. I was not impressed by her but he wanted me to see her point of view.

And it’s any of your business how? Hmm

FavouriteSoul · 23/11/2019 17:29

He defied all odds? Did he fuck. He achieved his potential, just like a lot of his contemporaries have, and will continue to do so. Stop looking down your nose at us lesser moneyed citizens. Sneering snobbery is not an attractive trait.

managedmis · 23/11/2019 17:33

What dict said. Just fuck his grubby little socks off then send him back to the workhouse.

Andysbestadventure · 23/11/2019 17:40

Fuck me. OP are you listening to yourself. Are you that removed from most people's reality? Does your nanny still wipe your metaphorical arse for you?

Christ. This post is almost terrifying. You want to fuck him because he's a bit of rough that's set up a business. This is not something that should be fetishised.

Seek help, please.

Original poster
FlixAndChill · 23/11/2019 18:26

@andysbestadventure this is plain mean.

Yes he is a bit of an oddity to me. And yes, I do like him. We do come from different backgrounds and this is what attracts me to him. He’s a total different kind of species almost.

OP posts:
Youngatheart00 · 23/11/2019 18:29

I smell a troll.

A different species???

lumity · 23/11/2019 18:35

Are you quite well, Flix?

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/11/2019 18:36

Different species??? Surely you can't shag him. Bestiality and all that.

Gallivespian · 23/11/2019 18:43

Now, now, don’t rain on the OP’s ‘Danny Dyer Is My Boss’ fantasies. Hmm

MsRomanoff · 23/11/2019 18:58

Honestly op, I dont think you need to worry about this. He is going to let you go soon.

You are a snob and dont even have the self awareness to keep it to yourself at work.

Your boss shouldnt have to explain why you should see something from someone elses point of view. The fact the woman didnt want to to on the course has fuck all to do with you. But clearly you insisted on commenting anyway, of course he expects his staff to not be so narrow minded.

You wont last long there. He probably thinks you are a bit socially inept. Eventually these things become too much of problem and people want rid.

Theres a reason he didnt try and stop you handing your notice in. He was quite happy for you to go.