To Turf My Cousin Out

[BooFuckingHoo2]

Backstory my cousin (24) has been staying with me for two months after a spectacular fall out with my aunt whilst she “gets on her feet”. I agreed to let her stay here rent free whilst she saves up for a deposit on a flat (rented) which should be achievable as she has an above minimum wage jobs and no other expenses aside from phone contract. Cousin has quite a bit of credit card debt (although I don’t know the full extent) which may impact affordability but before she moved in she assured me she would be saving £200 a week which would more than cover a small place (in the north). For full disclosure a few years ago I leant her £3k to buy a car to get to work, she paid me £1.5k back over 12 months and then stop as she “can’t afford it”.

Problem 1: I have quite a stressful job and I like to have a G&T 3/4 evenings a week (too much I know ) however whenever I have one cousin will ask if she can have one too. At first I said yes of course (as it seems incredibly mean to say no) but it’s now got to the point she’s gone through several bottles of my rather expensive gin (along with me, not by herself I might add), she occasionally says when I point out we’re running low “I’ll buy a bottle” but this has never happened. She has also eaten/drunk all my Diet Coke, coffee, cheese etc when our explicit agreement was that she’d buy her own food/snacks. Whenever I get a takeaway she will add on her order, promising the money which then never materialises. I have brought this up but ultimately I’m not going to sit there munching my Chinese while she looks on in envy.

Problem 2: I am extremely suspicious she is not saving any money and is planning on staying here long term (she has a pretty cushy deal). She’s a terrible spender so I offered to keep some money back for her if she gave it to me - she duly gave me £200 which I ended up giving back after 4 days. I have asked her if she’s saving as she often comes home drunk (clearly having been to the pub) and she assures me she is, but the flat she had secured for two weeks time has now “fallen through” and she’s asked to stay until after new year. I pointed out she owed me £1.5 still and she got very stroppy saying she’d sort it in the new year.

AIBU to tell her she needs to move out in two weeks as we agreed? On the one hand I feel mean as it’s so close to Christmas and perhaps she can’t afford a place of her own. On the other hand she clearly sees me as a soft touch and she’ll never learn unless she stands on her own two feet

Give her a deadline and stick to it.
If you don’t she will be living with you this time next year
Expect there to be some fallout

It's Friday. Tell her now and she has all weekend to find herself someone else to sponge off.

When she squeaks tell her that her attitude towards money she owes is utterly reprehensible; ask her how much she thinks she has paid for her food and drink etc and how much longer she expects you to treat her like your dependent child?

Personally I wouldn't give her 2 weeks, I'd tell her she can go home to her mum but she is NOT going to sponge off you any longer --> door out

Start charging her rent. You can take it towards the money you are owed or keep it for her to help find a place. Stop subbing her and I am sure she will find somewhere to go sooner rather than later

“She got very stroppy.”

So maybe it’s time YOU got very stroppy, OP.

Also tell her you’ve got a new lodger moving in in two weeks.

Thats shocking- she is totly sponging off yoh. You need to stick to the deadline and get her out.

I guess you can kiss goodbye to your 1.5 grand then. Don't think you'll be seeing that. And yes, move her on - reasonable deadline and stick to it like superglue.

She is a female cocklodger who knows exactly what she is doing. Don't be her fool anymore. Give her notice and enjoy your cheese n gin to yourself again. She is behaving like an overgrown teenager and it stops now if you have any sense

She needs to pay rent.

And you may also want to charge her whenever she eats something she wasn‘t allowed to eat.

oh, and give her a deadline. I suppose you could tell her that you‘ll consider extending it. IF she‘ll show you how much she‘s saved and that she‘s trying to find an apartment...

Don't start charging rent, you'll have her there for ever.

But she needs to pay for her food and drink as per the agreement, and you need to stop her sponging off you. Then give her a deadline to move out by, else she's never going,

You know, I know, we all know, you'll continue to let her mug you off.

She owes you 1.5k, she's eating all your food, drinking all your gin, not paying her way, and obviously not saving.

Yet you've continued to allow it for ages without saying anything.

We'll see you back on here in 2020, still moaning but not doing anything about it.

I can’t believe you let her stay when she already owed you so much money!

Was the argument with your aunt because she’s a shameless using moocher who expects everyone else to pay her way?

She has to go. She’s a thief and a liar and she’s taking the absolute piss.

I’d kick her out but remind her first so she gets her act together over the next fortnight and at least has food money.

She’s taking the piss.

If you want to keep her til early next year if charging her more now. Get her to pay you the same as she will have to pay in a flat of her own. So if it’s £500 rent £100 ctax ask her for £600 pcm just now as she will need to pay it then so why not now. If she can’t afford it then she won’t afford a flat and will have to go back to her mum Of the rent she gives you, you can save some for her. Don’t give her it back if she asks though. She needs to budget better. You need it to give to her as a deposit and first months rent. Is the rest is digs money. She’s taking the piss spectacularly.

Lock stuff away so she can’t eat/drink it. Really make it hard to live in your house and no fun any more so she wants to leave. You’ll ever see the £1.5k again. If she can’t pay I’d make her do all the housework in lieu of payment and be on her case til she does it right. If it’s crap living with you she will go. If cushy she will stay!

There is probably a very good reason your aunt fell out with her and threw her out . Like you said the agreement was her to move in 2 weeks stick to that . Tell her tonight say that you've thought about and she has to move out in 2 weeks as agreed . If she says no where else to go say sorry not my problem and tell her it was a favour to live rent free while she saved for a deposit not sponge off you as she's doing. Be prepared she won't like it and will make out your the unreasonable one but stick to your guns as she will never be out . Just visualise having your home back to yourself with your gin & cheese .

I had this with a niece - came for a week and nine weeks later there was no sign of moving. She offered to pay but when I thought it was for a week I, of course, said no. She ate us out of house and home (even ate an edible gift she'd bought us on arrival!), had half hour showers, didn't lift a finger to help with meals and hung around the house so much, day and night. We had friends coming so needed the spare room back so I gave her a fortnight's notice. Day before their arrival there was no sign of her going so I read her the riot act and she got the hump and left that evening. I haven't heard from her since and, frankly, have no desire to.

You need to get rid, sooner rather than later, as she'll take as much as you give. Listen to all the posters on here who say the same.

Tell her to get out.
You don’t need a reason, she’ll just try to get round it.
You need to pack and go by Sunday,
Why?
I don’t want to share my house anymore and give me my 1500 quid back that you owe.

Sunday.

Sunday

Quit it and get out now.

For your own sake, please get rid of this sponger. Maybe the row with your Aunt was about money? Not fair that you are out of pocket because of a user.

She's a CF free loading at your expense. No doubt she sees you as a cash cow. Yanbu!

Was the fall out with her mum money related?

Oh God get her out!

Man she is a proper CF and you need to pull your big girl pants up and tell her she needs to leave, pronto!

... and she can afford to pay you back and buy takeways, gin etc... she just does not WANT to!

I bet there is a good reason why your dear aunt kicked her out, too!!

Have you asked her why she's eating your food?

Time for the door. She’ll be expecting to stay.

From some experience of these situations whatever you do this will end in a scene and you and her falling out. You can either chuck her out now and she'll claim victim status. Or you can subsidise her for another six months and chuck her out then, when she'll still claim victim status. Her financial mismanagement (and I'd guess her argument with her mother) is a symptom of a refusal to engage with reality and take responsibility for herself.

FFS, of course you turf her out! Who cares if she gets stroppy, she's a fucking sponge! 'Nope, you need to move on in a fortnight as agreed.' The end. There's a reason why your aunt threw her out.