About this? Need to vent!

[coffeeoclock]

So I primarily take care of the washing in our house (myself, boyfriend & dog).

I slept in today and during this time my 'helpful' partner has decided to take my planned laundry load out the machine (which was stuff we actually needed washing- whites, towels etc!) and has done 2 loads of clothing that he's just let sit in the washing basket, wet, for about 2hrs now.

When I asked him why he would leave it there and not hang it out and continue to do another load after that he stated that he 'hasn't got time'.

YES THATS EXACTLY WHY I DO THE WASHING.

So now we have 2 loads of laundry, that have been sitting out in the open, creased and wet for over 2hrs so will probably need to be washed again unless we want to smell damp!

(And we have no room now for me to wash the stuff we actually needed to wash either)

And before you ask, we had plenty of clean, dry, ironed clothes. He wasn't running low on anything (as I have a system!).

He's now having a strop because I pointed out that it's not actually helpful as we don't have the drying space for all the clothes and he's just left them in a sodden pile for 2hrs.

😫🤦🏻‍♀️

I should point out that I do primarily all the housework as I don't work at the moment and he works from home SE long hours so it's beyond me as to why he thought it was a good idea.

2 hours really isn't a long time for washing to be sitting wet, and I'm sure it won't start to smell in that time. But if it's going to need washing again then do the stuff you planned first and leave the wet stuff in a pile, it won't be any more 'dirty' than if it hadn't been washed in the first place. I think yabu and sound very controling. It's really not a big deal what order washing gets done in.

Do you have a tumble dryer, or the space for one? Sounds like you need one.

I do all the laundry in this house (prefer it that way) and I do know what you mean about having the system upset though. Drives me round the bend.

It will be ok sitting wet for 2 hours. It doesn't need to be rewashed.

Really not a big deal

YABU. So many women complain that men do nothing, he tries to help (albeit while applying no common sense) and still gets slated.

Unless you're using a wringer washer I fail to see why you now have no room to wash the other stuff

Get him his own basket and leave his own stuff for him to wash /dry. He will sink or swim.
By doing all the wife work you have assumed the position of skivvy and in his mind he wanted thanks for doing it.
Enjoy the peace while he sulks.
Oh and the best bit about having a man child is the day you bin one...

I frequently leave my last load til the next morning and it smells absolutely fine. Yabu

Washing will not smell damp because it was sat for 2 hours, don’t be so dramatic!

Was there any good reason for removing what was in the machine? E.g. all whites but not a full load?

I think he’s been helpful, getting a start on the washing.

No excuse for him being stroppy at you explaining that there’s no room to dry things.

Leave the wet stuff in the basket, do the washing you need, get him to do a laundromat run this evening to dry it.

I quite often sling stuff directly in the machine (I’m not walking swim kits or tea towels or sport kit upstairs to the laundry basket!). Sometimes my husband pulls it out as he wants to put a whites wash on, or something more pressing. No drama. Afterwards, he sticks it back in the machine and leaves it - or puts more with it for a full load and starts the machine.

So many women complain that men do nothing, he tries to help (albeit while applying no common sense) and still gets slated

But doing two loads of washing but doing nothing about hanging it it up to dry is not a useful thing to do. He's made it into an urgent problem and an annoyance for the OP because it needs dealing with now or else it's back to square 1.

Wow, that's an over reaction. How's about "thank you for helping with the laundry. I tend to make sure that one lot is dry before I put the next lot on so it doesn't crease as much. Thanks though. Would you like a cuppa?"
Being cross with people for trying tends to stop them trying at all. Even if it costs you more time, acknowledge the thought and the effort. Life is a long game, you will reap your rewards

It certainly doesn't need to be rewashed. Just get him to hang it up to dry and then do the other stuff tomorrow.

@Topseyt No we don't have a dryer unfortunately, no space for one!

Thanks for understanding, it's really hard when you have a system and someone messes it up isn't it!

@GiveHerHellFromUs I meant we have no room to hang out 2 loads of washing and the stuff that needed doing, sorry!

@BarbaraofSeville Thank you! 😅

Why on earth would wet washing start to smell after 2 hours? This doesn't sound like a big deal at all to me but it's obviously upset you quite a lot. I mean this kindly, but are you maybe getting a bit too focussed on the minutae of keeping the house? As you aren't working at the moment are you becoming a bit obsessed with how things are done at home?
If my husband did something differently from how I do it I might sigh or eye roll inwardly and question his logic but I certainly wouldn't have a go at him or rang about it on MN. It sounds like he's not allowed to use the washing machine incase it upset a your laundry plans, which does seem a bit extreme to be honest.

Done this many a time, i work long hours and washing machine is in the garage so sometimes forget about it, its not a big deal and to be honest you are making a moutain out of a mole hill. Maybe you had mentioned you were tired or somthing so he thought he would help out. You will need to change if you go back to work and he needs to help out in the house or invest in a cleaner instead.

@80skid You're so right, I've just been calming down and laughing about it to my friend as otherwise I felt like I'd snap! It's been a long week and this was the icing on the cake 😂

It's just laundry

How has he made it an urgent problem?
There is no drama needed here.
Hang up what there is space for, leaving space for the needed stuff from the 3rd wash.
Stick the rest in the basket or bath if it’s dripping. Worst that happens is it needs another rinse and spin - how is that an urgent problem?
He hasn’t created any more work* as it needed to be done. He hasn’t delayed OP doing the stuff she wanted - machine is empty.
It’s hardly an insurmountable disruption to routine. I’d roll with it.
*maybe the act of putting it back in for a rinse and spin, but that’s hardly work

The only issue here is him being stroppy if the OP explained the problem - but if she started dramatising about washing being sat for 2 hours, I’d probably feel stroppy too!

Just thought I'd clarify- he can use the machine whenever he wants, it just helps to ask as he doesn't do it regularly so doesn't know what needs doing etc.

I'm not some kind of washing machine guard

He's just left 2 wet loads of laundry in the middle of the living room in a basket so it's already smelling damp. I'd understand if he left it in the machine as it's airlocked but it does smell quite quickly if you leave it scrunched up in the open.

Yanbu. At all. I'm shocked at the replies on here.

He deliberately messed up your system AND made work for you and you're supposed to be grateful because he "tried"?

Nope.

He isn't a child, he has done a shit job.

@zurala Thank you, I thought I was overreacting and going crazy.

I'm assuming it is his home too? Why does he need to ask to use the washing machine?!

How do you dry clothes normally? On a clothes horse or something?
Can you put some on clothes hangers on curtain rails/doors to dry them as a one off?