About this? Need to vent!

[coffeeoclock]

So I primarily take care of the washing in our house (myself, boyfriend & dog).

I slept in today and during this time my 'helpful' partner has decided to take my planned laundry load out the machine (which was stuff we actually needed washing- whites, towels etc!) and has done 2 loads of clothing that he's just let sit in the washing basket, wet, for about 2hrs now.

When I asked him why he would leave it there and not hang it out and continue to do another load after that he stated that he 'hasn't got time'.

YES THATS EXACTLY WHY I DO THE WASHING.

So now we have 2 loads of laundry, that have been sitting out in the open, creased and wet for over 2hrs so will probably need to be washed again unless we want to smell damp!

(And we have no room now for me to wash the stuff we actually needed to wash either)

And before you ask, we had plenty of clean, dry, ironed clothes. He wasn't running low on anything (as I have a system!).

He's now having a strop because I pointed out that it's not actually helpful as we don't have the drying space for all the clothes and he's just left them in a sodden pile for 2hrs.

😫🤦🏻‍♀️

@Pinkflipflop85 because he doesn't do it properly when he does it! A heads up would know so he doesn't fuck up the routine again so we have no space to dry stuff!

@GiveHerHellFromUs Yes clothes horse and we do use hangers normally as we have a small flat. There's no room to dry everything he has washed. I know this as I do the laundry everyday.

That washing could be 2 hours into getting dried by now and in the OPs situation with no dryer and limited space, that's 2 hours wasted.

If he's in no rush to hang it up, if I was the OP, I'd pull out my stuff and hang it up to dry. His can wait until the OPs things are dry and then he can deal with his. Might focus the mind into how to effectively do the washing in future.

Oh and we also have no clean hand towels or whites which was what I planned to do. We do however, have tonnes to clean clothes (dried, ironed and put away as well as damp and creased now!)

It's not going to need to be rewashed after 2 hours, don't be ridiculous

If that had been my DH, he'd have just slung a random mix of mucky stuff ON TOP of my white load and boiled the lot together

I’d drive you crackers, like your husband, OP! There is no part of me that would prioritise a part load in the machine of hand towels, because running out of hand towels just isn’t a thing for me I’d just use my bath towel until I had more hand towels.

I’d probably not consider whites urgent either - you’re not working and he works from home, so it’s not like it’s uniform that’s needed.

If that was his reasoning for taking those out (it’s a part load, I have a full load of darks) I would care.

If I commented on the lack of drying space, I’d expect my husband to say “ah shit, sorry - that was stupid of me” (not strop). But if I’d been OTT about having to re-wash, he’d think I was unreasonably making it into a bigger deal than it was.

Just hang out what you’ve got, leave the hand towels until next drying day, and use your bath towel.

I think @Howlovely makes a point worth considering.

I'm with zurala. Surely it's obvious that wet laundry should be hung up and how much space there is to hang clothing so that one wouldn't wash too much? Sounds to me like he needs to have to do more laundry until he's learned how to do it properly OP, what a pain! I sympathise that sounds annoying AF.

Make him do his own laundry from now until he's learned how it works.

I think it's very over the top that he has to give you a 'heads up' if he wants to do some washing. YABU and there are so many more things to worry about

It's not helpful though is it as he hasn't actually achieved anything!

He may not have known that the load he took out could have done with being washed first.

But all he's done is left a load of wet clothes in a basket!

I have banned my family from interfering with the washing as it's not worth it - for me or them! So this would wind me up.

If I go away, however, they can do what the fuck they like as long as it doesn't include my stuff!

I do all the washing (previously SAHM and now PT work) for me, DH and DD (3). This would drive me crackers! Mine has the sense to leave the washing alone now 😂

So I primarily take care of the washing in our house (myself, boyfriend & dog).

What washing do you do for the dog?

That's really annoying; he's effectively done half a job and has left you to do the rest. Tell him to hang what he can up (can use banisters, doors etc. if needed). PPs who don't see this as an issue maybe don't realise the problem of lack of hanging space, I know the struggle.

I don't have room in my house to hang up 2 full loads of washing at once never mind a flat so it would be a lot longer than 2hrs sitting damp.

He wasn't helping at all he has Made work for op by doing a crap job and leaving it half finished. What on earth did he think would happen to the first load if he left it in the basket wet while he did another load? So it's been sitting an hour until the 2nd load was even done. Why on earth do half a job? Bet he doesn't do half a job at work and expect his clients to be grateful.

Once he comes out of his sulk explain the logistics of how much space you have and prioritising what actually needs to.be done op or I suspect he will just think.you are an ungrateful nag. You shouldn't have to but as he is sulking like a toddler, for peace of mind I would or he will hold it against you for ever 😀

Do the stuff that needs doing, hang your stuff up to dry and let him discover what happens to washing left damp for a long time😉

All this you should be grateful he did anything crap really?

If someone starts a job, they need to finish it, not leave things half-done and expect someone else to pick it up.

I've has this in various forms and just ignored the half-done job and crack on, leaving it for the perpetrator. In your case, I'd pick out anything of yours he'd washed and prioritise that in the drying.

I doubt he'll ever get what you were annoyed about. Oh, and I'd stop doing his washing!

What @Willow2017 said.

It's not hard to shove things in a washing machine and push a button. Sounds like he couldn't be bothered to actually hang the stuff out.

I hate it when someone can't be bothered to do the shitwork, like it's beneath them to do it properly.

Though you don't need to rewash after two hours!

I wouldn’t see that as “half a job” in a bad way, or that he’d left the shit for me.

OP is perfectly happy with being the one doing the hanging out - she said that.

She slept in this morning, so he put two loads on. He couldn’t hang them up (I’m guessing) because he had work on. Yes, he cherry picked the quick bit... but it was practical to do so.

Instead of the OP getting up late and then having to wait around for loads to finish, he had them ready. That is less work for her, not more.

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong in doing a partial job. My husband and I do partial jobs all the time - I’ll strip the bed, but leave it upstairs as I realise it’s later than I thought. I’ll come home to find it all washed and dried. He’s out for a bike ride - I don’t think “fucksake, why didn’t you put it back on?” - I just get in with that. Perhaps it works for us because no-one owns jobs here - we just do anything that needs it.

What he’s guilty of is:

• not doing the whites/towels which may have been a legitimate decision if it was a partial load
• underestimating then drying space needed. Which only requires a “shit, sorry” and if desperate an offer to go to the launderette
• reacting stroppily - but was it any more stroppy than the OP? We don’t know.

It just doesn’t sound to me that he stuck two loads on whilst she clearly needed a lie in, because he’s a half a job Henry who doesn’t give a shit!

If he had finished the job though & bothered to hang the stuff up, he would have realised not to do another wash as there was nowhere left to hang it!

I wouldn't re-wash a load that's been left for 2 hrs. A day, maybe!
I agree with PP that he was only helping and you getting arsey with him was pointless!

Messing up the laundry system is so infuriating! If he does it again...thats right and this my first...LTB

Oh I couldn’t stand this ( I love doing laundry tho)
Where does he think you are going to put all this wet washing?
Put you whites in, hand them to dry, think by the time they’re dry the others will need re washing, I hate wet washing hanging about, never start washing unless they will be dried or at least on the horse same day.
I’m with you op half a job.

@BeThere Surprisingly a lot he's a spaniel that likes to get VERY MUDDY so his coats & towels need washing regularly 😂

There are some things I think some men just don't get. My DH will happily put a load of washing on AND hang it up in the airing cupboard. The bit he doesn't do is taking the previous load out of the airing cupboard first, so I come home to three loads of washing squashed into the airing cupboard and not properly dry!