One pair of trousers and two tops

[SplashingAroundTown]

AIBU to ask for help with clothes?

I have one pair of black trousers and two black tops. Two bras. Lots of pants and socks. One coat. That’s it.

My clothes fit into a small drawer.

I’m 5’2 and 16 stone. Losing weight slowly and carefully. But nothing looks good so I wear my “uniform” of clothes that look ok and are comfortable. I wash the trousers every couple of nights and wear a clean top every day.

I’m realising that some people just won’t believe this. Honestly, I find it crazy myself.

I do have more clothes but they’re too small. Probably about a dozen tops? A dress or two?

I just don’t know where to shop, what to buy, how not to waste money when I am getting slimmer slowly but surely. And also, everything looks awful on me because I’m so big anyway.

Help? I’m at work and running back into a meeting but I promise to check back ASAP

Is there anyone else who wears basically the same things day in and day out? Am I a total freak? (Perhaps don’t answer that!)

I think I would need a few more clothes than that!

Plain clothes are your friend along with lots of scarfs, jewellery and a few different coloured handbags.

Charity shops will be your friend. Seriously, the one down the road from us charges £1 for necklaces, £2 to £3 for scarves and £4 to £5 for handbags.

I can't fit into some of my clothes at the moment so I'm just wearing a portion of my wardrobe at the moment but I look different every day thanks to my vast array of accessories!

You need this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3735699-Plus-size-what-are-you-wearing-today-2

Yep. Me too....

100%

Firstly: Congratulations on how far you have already come - clearly it is time to reward yourself with a wee shopping spree. It does not have to be a wallet busting one - Asda (George) Tesco (F&F) and Sainsbury"s (Tu) all do stretchy jeans in various shades for about a tenner. I have similar styles of black ones in sizes 14 thro to 20 (I know, I know!). Paired with slightly better quality M&S black tee shirts, my 'invisible uniform', that I don't have to give thought to, has kept me sane through many dark periods of self loathing. However there is no joy in that uniform - and it is so liberating to decide once and for ever that the joy of looking and feeling your best does not have to be postponed until you are a 12. You are worth it right now, just as you are. Truly, being generous to yourself TODAY will help keep you on track.
You have mentioned working, but not budget restrictions. Regardless I am a great fan of charity shops - full of gorgeous nearly new size 20+ posh gear that folk all too readily discard when we drop a size, determined never to creep back up again. Well so what if you buy good stuff which falls off you in six weeks time. All the better, just donate it right back again for added feelgood. The beauty of this is safe experimenting, not restricted to this season's fashionable styles and colours. You'll come across a wide variety of labels you may not be familiar with. Look out for colours and fabrics that appeal. How does the fabric feel on your skin? How does the shade complement your complexion, hair and and eyes? Is it comfortable? Do you like the cut of it? After a while you should notice which labels you prefer and which suit you. If your budget allows head for those stores. Operation 'Discover my Style' will be a gradual process but will be a fun one not an ordeal.

It's cold - I'm fretting about you catching your death in just those worn thin tops - please start with a snuggly chunky cardi. Today!

I look the same every single day too - several pairs of the same trousers, a couple of very similar tops, dark poncho etc. I used to stress about it but I'm happy with it now. As others have said, just make sure that what you wear is neat and clean and that you feel comfortable. Less is more!

My solution when losing weight was Sainsbury's and ASDA. Both have fairly low price clothing that will do for the interim new shapes you are as you progress.

You keep saying "nothing looks good". I think you're probably wrong there and perhaps it would help if you took someone with you who could give a more objective opinion on the clothes.

M & Co

^^

Fabulous shop for really flattering, affordable clothes. Agree wholeheartedly!

If I were you I'd at least buy some clothes in colours that suit you: maybe one dress, two new jobs and a pair of trousers. Buy a versatile dress that can be dressed up or down.

I'd also buy a couple of big scarves in colours that suit you : one thick and one thin. These can be worn as scarves but also wrapped around your shoulders to look incredibly elegant.

I do understand. I have loads of clothes in size 12, but I’m currently a size 16. I wear a uniform to work, so I have two pairs of work trousers and a pair of jeans. I bit the bullet a while back and bought myself some nice tops to wear at the weekend and days off.

I think ultimately you have to live with your current reality. There must be clothes out there that fit you and look nice. You deserve to look and feel nice.

Does it have to be trousers and tops?
I’ve put on a shitload of weight through ill health and I look so much better in dresses . They don’t cut across the waist and the block of one colour/pattern is so much more flattering. Tights and dms/ knee or ankle boots are smart too. I’m very short so tend to wear thick black tights and nothing that sits below the knee unless it’s a slim fit full length skirt I tend to go for something loose around the lower thigh and show a bit of leg. Slightly above the knee is flattering and less frumpy than below knee/calf length.
V necks are good too. Have a go at some new ideas. Couple of dresses can be dressed up for nights out as well as down for daytimes
Get quality non shiny woolly or merino tights (M&S or tkmax)

Oh and I agree with previous posters, find a style you like and charity shop it. eBay is fab too as you can be very specific. I always try things on in high street shop and then buy it on eBay. Amazing how many people only wear things once!
Joanie clothing is a great label and always have sales on too

I do OP! I have a two pairs of plain blue jeans, some black leggings and some plain blue denim shorts, and then a bunch of plain black t-shirts and vests. All the same. I wear some combination of them every day, depending on the weather.

The reason is because I find fashion such a bizarre concept, like I'm supposed to dress up in special clothes to feel happy about myself or something? Trends and fashion are just weird money-making schemes aren't they? So yeah, I just opted out lol.

i know its a worn out set of lines but also work on how you feel about you.someone can be a 16 and look beautiful you know.i often think 99% of it comes from how you feel about you.
there could be a sie 8 and if she didnt feel good she would think she looked shit.
your getting healthier little by little which is the best way i think.it means you can keep it up,wont feel lacking as much and keep it as a lifestyle not a crashing diet that seems awful.that in itself it great.
what kind of clothes do you like.
do you like long jumper/dress.or rugby style.sweatshirt or jumper?
things like joules or crewe have some great rugby top but in bright colours.
a couple of striped t-s instead.
could you try a coloured t-shirt or a different style with a coloured cardi.
there are loads of scandi knit jumpers round now in time for christmas.
a rape pocket dress.

Why don’t you try a personal shopper service OP? Somewhere like a dept store. You can give them a few bullet points of a couple of types of outfits/occasions you’d like, or a capsule wardrobe, and a budget.
If they work to that for you it could be very helpful and might also be helpful to have a second opinion / reassurance that outfits look good on you!
Worth a try - have heard friends and OH they have been very helpful before when given a specific brief.

You're not at all wierd as far as I'm concerned.

I wore the same bodycon dress every day for 4/5 months last time I was pregnant. We'll actually I had 2 identical dresses; a spare for when the other was in the wash. It was literally the only thing I felt comfortable in. I had other clothes already and I bought other bodycon dresses for my pregnancy, but they just didn't feel comfortable. This one dress was just so comfy and stretchy and versatile, I lived in it! I wasn't at work and it was the spring/summer, so if the weather was warm I'd just wear the dress and trainers. If it was colder I'd wear it with a cardigan, tights and ankle boots and if I was going out I'd wear it with a jacket and smart shoes.

I even wore it after I'd had the baby, I wore it so much that it/both of them have holes in them now. I'm currently 2 months pregnant again and I've tried to buy replacements but they're not available anymore! I don't know what I'm going to do without my beloved dress this time lol!!

Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable

Thank you all so much. All so helpful.

“Hourglass” has it right when she says there is no joy in my uniform.

I really would love to wear different things and if I was a size 10 again I know exactly what I’d wear! I’ve tried on lots of dresses and they all look really awful because I carry the weight (everywhere really) but mainly on my tummy, bottom and thighs.

I will go to the JL personal shopper and see what they can come up with and I will look at the links people have posted for ideas too.

Thank you all. If I was a bit taller I think i could carry a lot more off. And I do see plus size people who are stylish and beautiful but I’m not either.

Thanks again!!

Op, a good starting point for me is....

Black vest with decent straps - M&S do some nice ones like this

Well fitting black trousers - for me, these would have a side zip and no detail at the top or front (so no pockets, front zip, belt loops, etc.). Length is halfway down the heel of your shoe or boot and legs wide. Probably not the height of fashion but the wide leg is more flattering than skinny or fitted (something like this).

A line below knee black skirt - again, side zip and no detail at the top.

The above combo will give you a silhouette and you can then add a jumper, cardigan, blouse or jacket.

I knew someone a few years ago who was a very large lady but used this technique and she always looked fantastic. She always made an effort in terms of her hair and make up and always got lots of comments.

Even though you are larger than you want to be at the moment, if you make the effort you will look and feel much better.

Thank you Barbara! Any links to clothes you find work on a size 18/20 short person from anyone are more than welcome!

a rape pocket dress.

I don’t even know if it’s a typo.

In all honesty, I’d find that really hard. I got really miserable when I was pregnant about how bored I was with my maternity clothes and I had:
2x jeans (black and blue)
3x leggings
2 work dresses
2x non maternity dresses I could squeeze in
3 x jumper dresses/tunics
1 jumper
4-5 tops
1 maxi dress
Pjs

I learnt that that was really the minimum I could get away with and the lack of variety ground me down. I honestly don’t know how you manage with so little but I do think lack of choice can have an effect on mood and your situation is quite extreme. Even picking another few items might make you feel a bit brighter.

I love the thrift shops to be honest.... The ones in higher end (more affluent) areas can be a good source. Good luck my lovely 💐

My mum only ever had 2 dresses at any one time.
She just couldn’t go shopping and choose something that she thought fitted her. You are in a better position now as there’s now more choice in larger sizes but perhaps availability isn’t great.

Have you looked on the popsy website? Seem to be a hit with ladies of all shapes and sizes.

What shape are you op? Apple, hour glass, pear....

Marks & Spencer have a new virtual stylist called Tuesday, you tell it a little about your body shape, size and lifestyle and it suggests things for you. I haven’t tried it but the stuff on their webpage looks fab. At least it will give you some ideas without having to leave the house.

I agree with a previous poster also that you have to live for now and get some clothes for how you are now despite you loosing weight. Also try dresses. I hate trousers but with dresses you can literally put one in a look out together. You can also play around with the look of a dress with different tights, belts, boots etc.

Also don’t me too worried about extending your wardrobe too much or feeling like you need 20 outfits etc. Most people have a staple of clothes. So for work I have threee dresses that I rotate and probably the same again in any given season (only two seasons summer/ winter 😂) for home. You don’t really need that many clothes perhaps just a little more than you have. Also perhaps think about getting some spare casual clothes in case you were ever ill and couldn’t wash your clothes as regularly or if you needed up in hospital. Practicalities are more concerning to me with so few clothes.