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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to make a fuss about missing cash?

89 replies

wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 09:41

I had a short thread about this in chat but want more views. Will try to keep it short without drip feeding.
It was DHs birthday at the weekend, my parents and in-laws, being old ( but generous) gave him cash in a card, a fair amount, not a fiver. He also had some cash he got from selling something he didn't need to a friend.
Life has been a bit dreary recently and I have been very tired ( menopause sleep issues and worry about children who are struggling ATM).
DH gave me all the cash to buy myself new clothes and anything else I needed ( much needed) I was very touched.
Stupidly I kept the cash in my purse, ready to take to the bank ( which entails a special trip to town these days).
I went to our local village Co-op, during the year time rush after a stressful day, and somehow managed to leave my purse in the basket at the self service till, I didn't realise until the next day. From what I can gather an unidentified lady found it in the basket and handed it to a member of staff and I collected it the next day, minus all the cash. It doesn't look as though it left the shop.
I fully admit it was a problem of my own making but taking the money was a crime and the shop staff have not been very helpful beyond expressing sympathy. At best they added to my negligence as they left the purse behind the till,and they didn't check for my address, I live virtually across the road. At worst one of them took the cash.
I called the non urgent police number and they made noises about checking the CCTV but I haven't heard back and I'd totally understand if it wasn't a priority.
I just feel very down about it, I have known some of the staff for years ( my son used to work there too) and have shopped there virtually everyday for 20 years!
Do you think I would be unreasonable to try harder to get the staff to do something, get the manager to check the CCTV?
I think I would actually be relieved if it showed some randomer taking the money., I hate to think it was a staff member.
I obviously feel very shit about losing the money, DH was sad not angry ( v nice man), it can't be replaced ( don't feel like I deserve it now anyway), we aren't on the breadline but we are self employed and cash flow can be erratic and the tax bill is due in January.
Sorry, that was long.

OP posts:

Sohololopopo · 21/11/2019 12:17

Take to social media too OP of the manager does not look at the camera - it could be them. If you go to the co-op, explaining the above, that you think it could be a staff member then they will have to look at it. Should get the managers arse in action too with the threat!

coconuttelegraph · 21/11/2019 12:32

Don't be silly, you aren't responsible for putting temptation in their way, why are you victim blaming yourself?

Original poster

wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 12:51

To anyone who missed my update: the police are on the case.

OP posts:

diddl · 21/11/2019 13:03

It may not have been a staff member though.

PeppyPiggy · 21/11/2019 13:12

definitely push for the CCTV and let the staff know that the CCTV is being checked by the police (in a friendly way, tell them that you're feeling better about the stolen cash because the police are checking etc.)

This happened to me!!! I told the store that police were coming to check CCTV and suddenly my belongings turned up... :)

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/11/2019 13:22

Sorry this has happened to you. I agree with chasing the police. If you’ll get double through your home insurance, maybe claim it was double the amount or have you told the police the amount missing? I know this doesn’t solve your issue and won’t stop your premiums going up.

Thehop · 21/11/2019 13:24

Keep on at police.

I lost my purse once with a lump of cash in and my house insurance replaced it so worth checking for you.

Honeybee85 · 21/11/2019 13:28

I would also involve the police.
And if I were the manager of said store, I would definitely want to see the CCTV regardless of whether the police was involved or not because I’d want to be sure if my staff was involved in stealing the cash or not.

billy1966 · 21/11/2019 13:29

Cripes OP, if I spent a tenth of what you spent in your local shop, I wouldn't let that go.

It's theft, as they well know.

Your husband sounds so lovely, I would make the effort to get it back even more so because of his generosity.

If the shop don't buck up their response I think it would be very reasonable to put on the local page how disappointed you are, after all your years of custom, how poorly the shop have reacted to a large amount of money being stolen while your purse was in the care of their staff.

Very poor.

I've lost things a few times like this in shops/malls and every single time I have gotten everything back, because they have had a clear protocol for looking after customers belongings.

Theft is theft.

Most people wouldn't dream of keeping that money.

Wishing you well 💐

misspiggy19 · 21/11/2019 13:30

OP seriously, if you want this resolved you need to do something. Just popping in and hoping there is a manager isn’t going to do it. Get contact details, contact Head Office, contact them on social media. No one is going to fix this for you.

^This.

Lhastingsmua · 21/11/2019 13:35

You’re assuming that staff may have stolen the money, but it could have easily been taken by an opportunistic customer prior to someone handing your purse in. CCTV will clarify the timeline.

I wouldn’t assume staff stole the cash as they have much more to lose than a random customer, such as the loss of their job, criminal charges due to their position and ramifications on future employment. It would have been just as visible on CCTV as them stealing from the till if the purse was in the same location.

Retail staff are subject to bag checks, and need to account for any cash on them (especially a large amount) if it was undeclared at the start of their shift.

Lhastingsmua · 21/11/2019 13:38

Yes. If I was a manager I would just check the cctv to rule out staff involvement!

I don’t think the staff were negligent by leaving the purse behind the till - when customers leave their things behind, they typically pop back soon after rather than the next day, so typically the item would have been reunited with it’s owner much faster. I think your address is irrelevant as staff wouldn’t have been able to go to your house to personally drop it off.

coconuttelegraph · 21/11/2019 13:41

I think your address is irrelevant as staff wouldn’t have been able to go to your house to personally drop it off

If the Co-op is anything like my local one the staff would 100% pop over the road to return a purse to someone they know who shops there every day, ime that wouldn't be an unusual thing for staff at a small village store to do.

Lhastingsmua · 21/11/2019 13:44

Must be a village thing then, I’m a Londoner and very much doubt staff would do that here. Especially staff working for a national retailer vs a corner shop.

Oliversmumsarmy · 21/11/2019 13:49

FWIW I left my debit card in a till machine at my local ish Tesco’s Express

When I went back for it about 1/2 later it had already been bagged, tagged and logged and put in the safe.

I am also London and I don’t think I have ever heard of people who have forgotten things in the local shops to me ever having stuff gone missing

Bellaxx8 · 21/11/2019 13:52

Retail staff are subject to bag checks, and need to account for any cash on them (especially a large amount) if it was undeclared at the start of their shift.

This doesn’t happen in small co ops.

Havaina · 21/11/2019 13:53

At best they added to my negligence as they left the purse behind the till,and they didn't check for my address, I live virtually across the road. At worst one of them took the cash.

OP, I get it, it sucks, my mum had £2k stolen from her recently because she took it to the bank in a carrier bag. I’m kicking myself because it was a Saturday and I should have offered to take her to the bank as she is nearly 70. I had no idea she wouldn’t take it in handbag.

However I think you’re a being a bit unreasonable to call the supermarket negligent. They don’t have a duty to find you and re-unite you with your purse. The onus is on you to come to them and tell them you’ve lost your purse. Of course if a staff member stole from your purse then that’s different and I hope the police can help there.

Bellaxx8 · 21/11/2019 13:56

It’s not negligence to leave the purse behind the till.
There busy, serving customers and probably didn’t have time to take it out Back and then forgot. It’s an accident and to be honest it’s the op fault for leaving it behind in the first place.

Besides Iv worked in co ops, there was never an official protocol if people left there stuff behind.

Dutch1e · 21/11/2019 14:00

Good update, I hope they turn up something useful

HollowTalk · 21/11/2019 14:02

Horrible to think it might be someone you know.

Dustarr73 · 21/11/2019 14:17

Retail staff are subject to bag checks, and need to account for any cash on them (especially a large amount) if it was undeclared at the start of their shift.

No,i have worked in a large supermarket.You dont declare money at the start of your shift.

I have had my bag searched,but unless you where caught red handed and with the purse.They cant accuse you.

Fatted · 21/11/2019 14:28

I'm going to sound harsh OP, but even if there is working CCTV, it might not show the actual money being taken. Even if it does, and by chance the police are able to identify and find said person, it doesn't necessarily mean you will get any of your money back. It's all well and good chasing the police, but you will probably not get the outcome you would like.

BeanBag7 · 21/11/2019 14:35

I feel partly responsible for putting temptation in their way.
That's ridiculous. Do you think it's an old ladys fault if she gets mugged because she "put temptation in their way" by carrying a purse? Or a car theft because the owner tempted them by having a nice car?

Retail staff are subject to bag checks, and need to account for any cash on them (especially a large amount) if it was undeclared at the start of their shift.
I worked in a coop for 4 years and we were never subjected to bag checks and never asked to declare cash in any amount at the start of our shift. The only thing we had to do was keep receipts for anything bought from the shop during our shift and even that was never checked.

Yesmate · 21/11/2019 14:43

Will await the update from the Police OP

coconuttelegraph · 21/11/2019 15:39

Retail staff are subject to bag checks, and need to account for any cash on them (especially a large amount) if it was undeclared at the start of their shift

You've missed the crucial word some from your post, I've worked in many retail stores and never once heard of that, surely you know that's not universal practice. Have you really worked in multiple places that had that rule?

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