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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make a fuss about missing cash?

89 replies

wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 09:41

I had a short thread about this in chat but want more views. Will try to keep it short without drip feeding.
It was DHs birthday at the weekend, my parents and in-laws, being old ( but generous) gave him cash in a card, a fair amount, not a fiver. He also had some cash he got from selling something he didn't need to a friend.
Life has been a bit dreary recently and I have been very tired ( menopause sleep issues and worry about children who are struggling ATM).
DH gave me all the cash to buy myself new clothes and anything else I needed ( much needed) I was very touched.
Stupidly I kept the cash in my purse, ready to take to the bank ( which entails a special trip to town these days).
I went to our local village Co-op, during the year time rush after a stressful day, and somehow managed to leave my purse in the basket at the self service till, I didn't realise until the next day. From what I can gather an unidentified lady found it in the basket and handed it to a member of staff and I collected it the next day, minus all the cash. It doesn't look as though it left the shop.
I fully admit it was a problem of my own making but taking the money was a crime and the shop staff have not been very helpful beyond expressing sympathy. At best they added to my negligence as they left the purse behind the till,and they didn't check for my address, I live virtually across the road. At worst one of them took the cash.
I called the non urgent police number and they made noises about checking the CCTV but I haven't heard back and I'd totally understand if it wasn't a priority.
I just feel very down about it, I have known some of the staff for years ( my son used to work there too) and have shopped there virtually everyday for 20 years!
Do you think I would be unreasonable to try harder to get the staff to do something, get the manager to check the CCTV?
I think I would actually be relieved if it showed some randomer taking the money., I hate to think it was a staff member.
I obviously feel very shit about losing the money, DH was sad not angry ( v nice man), it can't be replaced ( don't feel like I deserve it now anyway), we aren't on the breadline but we are self employed and cash flow can be erratic and the tax bill is due in January.
Sorry, that was long.

OP posts:
spanglydangly · 21/11/2019 10:57

The manager should've called you! Someone should've relayed the details.

Good luck

Drum2018 · 21/11/2019 11:01

Definitely get onto it before cctv is wiped, be it via police or manager. I wouldn't let this go. If it is a staff member then they need to be sacked.

SunniDay · 21/11/2019 11:11

Hi OP,
Sorry that happened to you. My money would be on a staff member I’m afraid as if a member of the public found the purse and wanted the contents why would they hand it in at all? If they had kept it completely you wouldn’t know where to check the CCTV.

Hope you have luck tracking it down but I just wanted to say your husband has a heart of gold! (Giving you his birthday money to cheer you up). If you can’t find the money try not to beat yourself up - unfortunately shit happens.

Cosmos45 · 21/11/2019 11:12

If I was the manager of that store I would be far too intrigued not to look at the CCTV, and find out what happened to the money. If it was a member of staff I would want them sacked as it isn't a great feeling working with dishonest people. It is stealing. Someone took something that wasn't theirs to take regardless of you making a mistake of leaving your purse there. You need to kick up much more of a fuss and if you get nowhere with the local shop right to co-op's head office and ensure they investigate further. I wouldn't let this lie if I were you.

PersephoneOP · 21/11/2019 11:18

@wigglybeezer The shop aren't obligated to do anything for you unless requested by the police, so you need to follow this up with them.

I worked in a charity shop in an extremely busy, high crime area and customers were always leaving their bags unattended, despite staff continually telling them not to...

The amount of people who left their bag unattended, had it stolen, then demanded staff drop all their duties to go through the CCTV footage was insane. Shop workers are very busy, and many legally can't show customers CCTV footage anyway.

Contact the police again, ask for a crime reference number and continually follow this up. A police officer can come in with the necessary equipment to make a copy of the CCTV footage if the perpetrator is in fact on it, and this can be scheduled for a day that the manager is in.

I don't want to sound harsh, and OP I'm not saying you sound like the annoying customers I described above, but it really is a matter you need to take full reigns on as your property is your responsibility, not a random shop workers

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 11:18

I suppose if I'm honest I'm ambivalent about someone getting sacked, it's a village setting, it's the only supermarket in town, everyone would end up knowing about it. however I didn't feel it was right to ignore it either...

OP posts:
Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 11:30

I already have a crime number and have followed it up once already, I'm not being completely passive. I'm aware that staff members are very busy, my son used to work there and I've heard many tales of how under pressure the staff are and how rubbish the management are, I also know most of them by name for years so it didn't feel right to go in all guns blazing.
Do you not think it would be reasonable to have a protocol for lost valuables, you could check for ID with another staff member as a witness and then put it under lock and key?

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 21/11/2019 11:31

That is lax in my opinion.
Most shops have a process whereby any cash is counted and witnessed and kept separately.
How about asking on your local Facebook site if the person who handed it in will contact you? I genuinely think it far more likely that someone in the shop has had it than the person who handed it in.

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 11:38

Yes unfortunately I agree.

OP posts:
TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 21/11/2019 11:39

DP once left my bag behind in Ikea (I went up to the desk to get the trolly with the stuff they'd had to get out of the warehouse, telling him my bag was next to him, and to look after it).

The bag was handed in, but missing my tablet (cheaper android one, but still). Reported to police, crime number, CCTV everywhere, tablet has unique number etc. should have been a slam dunk to solve, but nope. They just closed it, uninvestigated a couple of weeks later.

So keep trying, but I wouldn't hold my breath for any help.

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 11:41

I thought about the local Facebook group but couldn't think of a way of wording a post that wouldn't get the local busybodies going, everything always turns into a right drama on there!

OP posts:
Amber2019 · 21/11/2019 11:43

I actually know someone this happened to. Left purse in a local well known store. It was handed in minus the cash. It took a while but the police were involved, found the person who stole it on CCTV, they actually went to court 1 year later but the person got their money back. Dont know where they got the money back from, I assume it was the court. I once left mine on the bus with a few hundred in it, got the purse back minus the notes, they left the coins.....

Time40 · 21/11/2019 11:49

I suppose if I'm honest I'm ambivalent about someone getting sacked, it's a village setting, it's the only supermarket in town, everyone would end up knowing about it

Wow OP, you are such a softy! (In a nice way, but still a total softy). If a member of staff had stolen my money, I'd want him or her sacked, no question.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 21/11/2019 11:50

@wigglybeezer just say "thank you to the lovely person who handed my purse in on the Co-Op on whatever day. Could you please PM me if it's you as I would like to thank you properly?"

Then they'll think they're getting a bottle of wine or something and you can ask them privately about the money Grin

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 11:54

Ok, so I have spoken to the manager, the police have been in touch and are coming back in tonight when the staff member who was on duty will be in. So I just need to wait and see now...

OP posts:
Dustarr73 · 21/11/2019 11:54

I suppose if I'm honest I'm ambivalent about someone getting sacked, it's a village setting, it's the only supermarket in town, everyone would end up knowing about it

If you dont do it for yourself do it for the pensioner or someone on low wage who would really be depending on that money.

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 12:00

I suppose I am a bit soft, I feel partly responsible for putting temptation in their way. My granny once told me a story about being falsely accussed of theft when she was a cleaner, she was still " black affronted" 50 years later, I have worked in retail too so am always nice to shop staff!

OP posts:
Bunney2020 · 21/11/2019 12:01

I would keep at them (both shop and police) too. If a manager isn't on duty when you go in, ask when they will be so you can return at that time. Seems very odd that there is no one senior who can deal with these complains though.

Thinkingabout1t · 21/11/2019 12:01

"The manager wasn't in both times I went, it's a small coop and doesn't have a full time manager. in and they aren't allowed to show me the CCTV."
I would make a fuss about that, OP. Tell them that they either show the CCTV to you or to the police -- the sooner the better, before that day's tapes are wiped. Then get on at the police, make sure you get a crime number, keep pushing. The CCTV may be able to solve this crime.

Bunney2020 · 21/11/2019 12:02

Cross post as I had opened the page ages ago and not refreshed.

AJPTaylor · 21/11/2019 12:02

And honestly the shops I worked in years ago and my kids worked in more recently always had protocols in place for cash and valuables found.

Thinkingabout1t · 21/11/2019 12:08

Sorry, crossposted as I forgot to refresh the page. Best of luck with this, OP. I always hand in lost property if possible, but have very rarely had anything I lost handed in. I still prefer to be honest. Console yourself with the knowledge that you have a truly lovely husband!

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 12:13

They probably do have protocols but the staff member I spoke to said something about another member of staff pointing at my purse the next day and asking who's purse is that?, Which implies it was still sitting about behind the tills.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 21/11/2019 12:16

Unfortunately I don’t think you will get very far unless you do call the police and make it look like a slam dunk to them at the very least.

My friend was chased through her house by armed men who broke into her house when she was home alone and had to barricade a bedroom door whilst calling 999

The police came an hour later. They didn’t take fingerprints or take one of the weapons with them when they left just gave her a crime number.

We suspect that it is a gang who are breaking into big houses in the county and the police won’t do anything until someone is killed so money stolen from a lost purse round here would be low down on the radar

Original poster
wigglybeezer · 21/11/2019 12:16

I do have a lovely husband, worth more than any amount of money, " boak".

OP posts:
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