"Do you have enough room in your car?"

[mummumumumumumum]

I was unwell last week and one of the mums from school noticed that another mum (that I know well) was taking my children to school for me.

The mum messaged me and said she could pick my children up because it's on her way and the other mum was going out of her way to come to my house.

I asked her if she had enough room for 3 more children.

She said yes.

Did I mean.. Can you fit my children I'm your car without seatbelts or do you have enough seat/seatbelts in your car??

She took 6 children in a 5 seater car.
Aibu by not being happy about it?
Should I say something,she's asking me if we want to take turns.
I might just say that I don't have room for 6 children in my 5 seater car and see what she says.
I know she did me a favour but I checked she had room before I agreed and I would have rather walked up seriously ill than put my children in that situation.

It’s completely illegal to have kids under 12 (or by weight) in a car without a boaster seat/car seat and if you get stopped it’s the driver that pays a fine!! Not only that no matter have good or safe driver you think you are, you can’t account for other toad users. Mad behaviour, imo.

Apart from being illegal and very dangerous it’s extremely stupid of her to do this!! What an irresponsible dumb thing to do. No way would I trust this women ever again!

I was polite and resolute, that my DD was not being driven in a car with not enough seat belts for the number of passengers (or smoking)

Good for you as both of these things are breaking the law

RainbowMum11

No car seat/seat belt (depending on height/age), no lift unless it's an emergency.

Do you mean as in “sorry I killed your child when I crashed. It was an emergency.”

Are you always so easily fooled OP?

The mum messaged me and said she could pick my children up because it's on her way and the other mum was going out of her way to come to my house..... should I say something,she's asking me if we want to take turns

She blatantly hi-jacked your arrangement with someone else - JUST so she could use that to manipulate you into 'sharing' school lifts!
Do you not see that?
She's also shown you that she doesn't care for their safety and is willing to put YOUR kids at risk/danger.

You need to tell her "No thankyou - that doesn't work for me"
Your short term arrangement with the other mum was a FAVOUR between you both - not a planned lift-share like this woman thinks it is.

isabellerossignol
“The only people I know who don't want to wear seat belts are elderly people who insist that no one needed seat belts in their day, and 6 children piled in the back seat was fine and they're all here to tell the tale.”
What a patronising, stereotypical, judgemental statement from someone who states that teenagers always do the right thing in cars. Just as I am sure there are elderly people who say these things, I am just as sure that there are plenty of teenagers who pile into the back of cars without regard for how many seat belts there are.
BTW I am 70 and would not allow more people in my car than I have seat belts.

isabellerossignol
“The only people I know who don't want to wear seat belts are elderly people who insist that no one needed seat belts in their day, and 6 children piled in the back seat was fine and they're all here to tell the tale.”

What a patronising, stereotypical, judgemental statement from someone who states that teenagers always do the right thing in cars. Just as I am sure there are elderly people who say these things, I am just as sure that there are plenty of teenagers who pile into the back of cars without regard for how many seat belts there are.

I would have thought it was obvious that I was not actually stating that every single elderly person insists that 6 people in the back seat is fine, and that every single teenager belts up without question.

I said in my post that I was talking about the people I know. I have never personally had anyone under the age of around 40 get into my car without immediately putting a seatbelt on. I've never had to ask anyone to do it. My own father actually often remarked that he couldn't believe how he used to drive around in the 70s with us all piled in the car, but my in laws on the other hand declared car seats ridiculous, said that in their day no one needed them and they are all still alive. As a result, our children were allowed to go in the car with one set of grandparents but not the other. On discussing it with friends, most grandparents were like my in-laws and either refused to use car seats (so didn't get to take their grandchildren out) or only used them under protest. I rarely take my MIL anywhere by car because she has a habit of putting her seatbelt on, knowing that I expect her to, and then unbuckling it once we are out on the road, thinking I won't notice. Even though my car has a loud alarm and flashing lights

Isabellerosignol

Please don't judge all elderly people by your ILs and don't single out elderly people as the only ones who object to seat belts. I am sure there are those who insist the good ole days were better. I am also sure there is a bigger majority of elderly people who understand the importance of seat belts. As I said I am also sure there are teenagers who are as capable of being idiotic about seat belts as some elderly people. I'm also sure there are the same type of people in their 20s, 30s, 40s etc.

Please don't judge all elderly people by your ILs

I didn't. I said, for the second time, that I was talking about the people I know. Which included my parents and inlaws and my friends parents and inlaws. Again, all people that I know. I also mentioned that my own father (who if he were alive would now be in his mid 80s) was hugely in favour of car seats etc.

I don't really know what you want me to say? Lie and say 'oh, no actually, I've never met an elderly person who objects to car seats'?

My Dad absolutely could not understand why I would not let him and his wife take my then 2 yo DD out in his car with his wife holding her on her lap. “But she’ll sit in the back”. No, she goes in no car without her car seat. “But what about my upholstery?”

He seriously valued his car upholstery over the safety of his granddaughter!

All I'm trying to say is it's not just elderly people who are idiotic about seat belts. You keep pushing the elderly bit, rather than admitting it can be any age.

You keep pushing the elderly bit, rather than admitting it can be any age.

I've already said repeatedly that I was talking about people I know personally.