"Do you have enough room in your car?"

[mummumumumumumum]

I was unwell last week and one of the mums from school noticed that another mum (that I know well) was taking my children to school for me.

The mum messaged me and said she could pick my children up because it's on her way and the other mum was going out of her way to come to my house.

I asked her if she had enough room for 3 more children.

She said yes.

Did I mean.. Can you fit my children I'm your car without seatbelts or do you have enough seat/seatbelts in your car??

She took 6 children in a 5 seater car.
Aibu by not being happy about it?
Should I say something,she's asking me if we want to take turns.
I might just say that I don't have room for 6 children in my 5 seater car and see what she says.
I know she did me a favour but I checked she had room before I agreed and I would have rather walked up seriously ill than put my children in that situation.

Wow isn't that illegal?....which is the child chosen not to be strapped in?! What if something happened to that child? Ridiculous.

I don't drive, I'd hate it. Both my parents are so lax on car seats it drives me absolutely bonkers. In my dads car I make sure my 3 year old is strapped in his seat securely and he HOWLS at being restrained as he's not used to it. My dad just says to loosen the straps as they're too tight, then he starts to free himself! Honestly I prefer to get public transport, way less stress and feel safer.

7yr old is on a booster with belt at the moment as "it's all I had back then" but I'm not happy about it at all. I'm getting both 7 and 3 year old the Joie Elevates next month as I've heard they're good.

but being an officious twat and giving someone who helped you out a lecture about health and safety is not the way to win friends

Who gives a fuck?

It's the law.

The advert that had the most impact on me is ‘Julie knew her killer’ which is on YouTube here:

(Warning it’s very upsetting and unsettling)

I drive around lots of teenagers and other people’s children to clubs and activities etc, but I won’t move the car unless they are all strapped in. Only ever had problems with one child who needed prompting, but all the rest do it without even thinking about it.

My children are pathological about remembering, because their grandad was a fire fighter and he has a whole load of stories about what happens with an unsecured person in a car crash. Front passengers tend to go through the windscreen, but rear passengers do a lot more damage to other passengers. The worst one he saw was with three unsecured children, the children were thrown around the cabin and killed both their parents and their baby sibling who was on their mother’s lap. Only one of the three children survived and they had life changing injuries.

In a future situation, the question to ask is "have you got enough seatbelts?" or "have you got enough carseats?" for smaller children.

Yeah my car only seats 4 so it’s a bit of a pain but I won’t take them without seat belts!

No you anbu. We used to have friends who went to the same school on the same street as us. We walk to school (only about 20 mins) but they drove. They offered us a ride. I asked if they had enough car seats they said yes so I said ok. Turns out they didn't one of their kids had one the other didn't have one so there wasn't one for mine! Their kids didn't even strap themselves in! I didn't make a habit of it. I said we liked walking. I think they thought I was a bit weird though for this

but being an officious twat and giving someone who helped you out a lecture about health and safety is not the way to win friends

If you end up dead you won't have any friends then 🤔. It comes down to priorities and if someone takes offence that I consider travelling around in a car without seatbelts is lunacy then they can rock on frankly.

my DM practically burst into tears at the thought of me putting newborn DD in a car seat instead of holding her during car journeys

I'm glad you didn't listen to her booboos - many babies have suffered horrific injuries, or even been killed, when the momentum of a car crash has propelled them out of someone's arms into the windscreen/ the seat in front/ another person.

I'm confused op, how old are the kids? Didn't you see the car before it drove off?

@whyamidoingthis
For God sake... IF you are going to tag me in a comment at least READ what I wrote. I was replying to another PP who said I was delluded if I thought teens won't wear seatbelts. I said I was not deluded as most modern teens will!! The outliers were the ones that try not to wear them ..

You do realise we made the same point!! 😁

@WillLokireturn.....
I suspect you are experiencing the outliers, rather than the rest of us. If teens have been brought up to wear their seatbelt, then they will continue to do so. You still see the occasional adult without a seatbelt. Same with kids. However, they are very much in the minority.

I know I'm late to this, but my mum who's 83 had a car accident and her car ended up on its roof, two passing workmen got her out of the smashed window she walked away I the only a cut hand from the smashed glass. Her seat belt saved her life.

She's an idiot. You just say:

I'm sorry but we can't share as I can only take kids with seatbelts on.

And that's it.

No seatbelt no travel, end of. I've seen families unload 10 plus kids from cars around here, it's known to the police but catching them in the act is hard, particularly prevalent in people that are newer to the U.K. (born overseas in countries where this is normal) babies sat on laps in the front seat too.

I had friends who occasionally watched my DDs if I was running late. I have a very handy group of school mum friends and we can grab each others in emergencies.

I found out the husband was putting my children into the seatbelts as I'm fussy about that, and then piling theirs in around them. Err no.

I'm also the only driver of the main core of friends and occasionally I will give lifts. Most of them get that I will only use correct seats and belts for child size/number of travellers our newer car has built in booster seats for over 3s, but occasionally there's a eyes rolled at me about that one extra child that I'm working out the logistics of number of trips, with an adult present both ends for the younger ones.

WillLokireturn You are deluded if you think that teenagers strap themselves in when sitting in the back.

I’ve never had to remind anyone under about 40 to strap themselves in. My 21 and 16 yo DC actually say they think buses and trains should have seatbelts too!

I rarely have over 40s in my car but I won’t drive until all seatbelts are fastened and I can see that on my dash.

@ WillLokireturn - You do realise we made the same point!! 😁

Apologies. What I was attempting to do was quote you, agree with you, then tag the poster who had said you were deluded and then reinforce your point about the outliers. I see I have spectacularly failed.

So after your quote, I should have put This^^ and then tagged BigBaller69.

I usually re-read before posting. This just proves I should always re-read before posting

I had to explain to a twenty something the danger of not wearing a seatbelt. I was shocked she thought that’s she could sit in the back safely without one.

JUSt say thanks but I need them to wear a seatbelt. So no!

Illegal and unsafe not worth risking their life for! Agree when you asked if room your intention was to establish for all of them to be safely strapped in! Putting seatbelt around 2 also very unsafe.

I would say I've realised you have a 5 seater can and you need 6 seats so its not safe for one to have no seatbelt on

I have a friend who is an A&E surgeon - she says that she wouldn’t go for 1 minute without kids strapped in. Nd with booster seats for small as all the most horrific ashes seen have non- belted.
Don’t make a fuss, just politely explain.

Are you sure she didn't have enough seat belts for 6. My car looks as if it would only take 5 but I have two more by adapting seating in the boot. I very rarely have these tests on show as I collapse them after using as need boot space more often than the seats. Would certainly not encourage 6 people in a 5 seater though see it regularly at school run time and at local park.

How old are the kids? Did you not see them into the car?

WillLokireturn You are deluded if you think that teenagers strap themselves in when sitting in the back.

I've never known anyone get in my car and not put on their seatbelt, regardless of age. Teenage dd would always wear a seat belt, as do all her friends.

If I was the driver I would refuse to move off until all was strapped in, though I've never had the need to do so!

She took 6 children so therefore 7 people in a 5 seater car?!
I would be furious.

I would double check what car she has and if it definitely doesn't have enough seats and seatbelts although I assume your kids will be able to tell you that one of them wasn't wearing a seatbelt. But if this mum does actually mean to lift share taking kids without seatbelts then just say sorry no but no seatbelt no lift.