only odd men join organisations like the Masons

[GoodGriefSunshine]

Maybe I have just been unfortunate but the only men I have ever met that belonged to the Masons (...Rotary etc) have been kind of odd. Let's just say, not attractive to women types. Mummy's boys, odd-bods who are into train spotting and sci-fi in too big a way. The kind of men you feel may be a little on the boring side. What sort of men join these predominantly men's clubs and what is appealing about wearing aprons and performing bizarre rituals?

My grandfather was a mason. He joined in the 60s when he was scaling the dizzy heights of local government and from what my dad told me it was basically a drinking club with added pinnies.

Dad disapproved in true student fashion. Once dad and his younger brothers moved out of home he cut down massively and eventually stopped as my gran got lonely and worried without him (not the best of health).

She died 15 years later and the support they gave him was amazing. They gave him a structure and a purpose and a role (he was probably late 70s at the point) as well as a social life. He felt he was helping people and doing good. So for that I will always be thankful.

Still a bit weird though, the ceremonial side.

Most Tories are Masons btw

My only complaint against the masons was the poor plumbing at the local Masonic complex. Other than that it’s a lovely place lovely people.

Hahahahaha!!!

I know quite a few men who are Masons, from various backgrounds and with various jobs, personalities and social lives. I couldn't describe even one of them as a mummy's boy, odd-bod or boring. I'll let my biker, rugby playing, hilarious, sweet and kind-hearted, police inspector husband know your thoughts though.

Nothing like making sweeping statements!

The Masons do huge amounts of charitable work. They are extremely supportive of their community.

The problems are with the exclusive and secretive nature of the organisation and the fact that they are a brotherhood dedicated to looking after their own. The handshake is a way of secretly making themselves known to each other.

YABU to generalise about the type of men who become Masons, but YANBU to have concerns about the way the Masons operate.

They were all upper working class or lower middle class, not that wealthy (very wealthy 'old money' rural town ) & 40+ when my friend had a part time job waitressing at the local one. She said there were no charity things, just lots of dinners. The very wealthy lot seemed to all socialise in the same few village pubs & be in unpaid Board level positions at the local Hospice, Guide Dogs & other charities. They were very cliquey & I'd suspect you'd not get into their group if you tried. It was 50+, retired early public schoolboys only 'club'.

I think yabu op for your judgey labels there.

I know some good-looking, successful and sociable types that are.

However, I wouldn't trust them. Some have very sinister behaviours towards their families, some sexist and entitled nasty sorts, but seeing them interacting socially you would never in a million years think so.

Its like anything, anywhere, only when its all boys together it probably is worse, IME

I know some good-looking, successful and sociable types that are.

However, I wouldn't trust them. Some have very sinister behaviours towards their families, some sexist and entitled nasty sorts

^this^

There are repeating commenters here who comment omn the misogynistic and entitled manner so many Masons have. The organisations seem to attract weak men who are socially a bit odd and also men who seem to hate women and thrive on being in groups where they can talk misogynistically about them. Just a bit sinister as you say. I don't think there is some higher power level - just a bunch of men who are frightened of women or hate women or just think they are better than women. I knew one who was rampantly having affairs but would put on this 'holier than thou' higher morality manner. I've known others who are just weak men and others that are plain odd.

Infact the man who had regular affairs used to use the fact that women would sleep with him as proof that women were morally bankrupt and deserved to be treated poorly - he really didn't see the irony. As far as he and his chums were concerned, they could do what they want. It was the women who were weak.

I think whether they do good for the wider community seems to depend on the chapter (?). Some seem to be quite active. Others - as many, many pp have said here, seem to raise money to benefit only themselves. To have dinners and to help Mason families when they are struggling. Nothing wring with that at all except they can hardly be seen as a charitable organisation when they only help themselves. More of a Co-op than a charity helping the community. Like I said, it seems to depend on the Chapter.

It's for beta males who are otherwise incapable of getting the life they want through normal means.

My grandfather is one. Not into Sci fi or train spotting. Big into history and books, ex-navy, and ex custody officer and security guard.

I wouldn't call my grandfather weak either. He is loyal to a fault, the most loyal man I know. In fact I find it hard to date men and none of them live up to the expectations/standards I have after growing up with my granddad as my father figure, seeing how he treats my grandmother.

I don’t know any Masons as far as I know, so have no first hand experience of who joins. But all this thread has told me is it’s a large organisation, and within any large group of people you will get good and bad, so sweeping generalisations are pointless.

I am a member of the WI (hush hush) and I’m sure the same can be said there - I’m sure their are members who are racist for example, and I’d be very upset if somebody met that member and declared “all WI members are racist” based on them alone.

I know a few Masons through work; all perfectly nice men (as far as I know) but yes, some are a little bit odd. But then, lots of people I meet at work area bit odd!
My dad and his best pal (definitely not Mason-types!) were once invited to a Masonic dinner. They found it so excruciatingly hilarious that during the speeches they both pretended to drop their cutlery so they could dive under the table...they hid under there together for a long time, laughing so hard that they daren’t come back out 😂

My DH is a mason, and he doesn't fit your description at all. He pokes a bit of fun at some of the goofy ritual stuff, but he's made some really good friends, they are lovely family men, and they really look out for one another.
One elderly member (who is also our neighbour), lost his wife in August. The guys have rallied around him; while he is capable of taking care of himself in most practical ways, the guys make sure he has company a couple of times a week, and DH will pop over to do small jobs he can no longer manage. It's lovely, and since we don't have lots of close family in the area, it's nice to know that if anything happened to DH, those guys would offer their help and support to me and our children.

OP you are directing your anger in the wrong place IMO.

But since you know such a lot about freemasonry I guess it's unlikely you will be looking any closer to examine the group you are attacking verbally on an online forum.

I may not cut it with you but from my own observation they are just ordinary people seeking fellowship and trying to do a bit of good as they see it. I don't know any inadequate elitist misogynist masons - but I guess you must be right and there's always a first.

canveyisland
a) I'm not angry
b) I'm not the only one to suggest that there is a disproportionate number of misogynists within the organisation. If you read the posts, it is a very common theme.

All of the men I know in the Masons / Rotary etc have been rich / wealthy and very kind. They are usually family men with lovely kids and encourage their entire family to muck in and do charitable work.

This ^

Also, they don't do rituals in rotary.

Also, all the ones I know are very successful and popular socially.

What absolute nonsense, I belong to a number of occult groups and the majority of the people there are great. Nothing wrong with masons either.

Why do Masonic lodges typically not have any windows or blacked out windows, big heavy doors and look very unwelcoming?

They don't?

The two I know of are used for weddings, weight watchers etc when not in use. Like a church hall.

The sort of men who join the Masons tend to be company director types who play golf. Well, the three I know, anyway.

I saw masons arriving for a meeting once all in black coats and no suits, carrying black cases. All white men. There are many ways to raise money for charity without that oddness and exclusion.