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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really struggle with incessant singing, movement, fidgeting of my 9 yr old

68 replies

Lovemenorca · 19/11/2019 17:41

A lovely, vibrant, intelligent, highly sporty boy.... who doesn’t stop moving. dancing, singing, making loud annoying noises.

It it relentless and drives me barmy on occasion. The only time he is still is if he’s watching TV. I’m tempted to get him on to computer games if only only for the peace! (We don’t presently have one as he’s never asked for one and I wouldn’t know where to begin).

I really does feel like an assault on the senses. On the other hand - it’s a young boy full of life and energy and i feel so guilty at sometimes thinking “shut the fuck up!” (Don’t get me wrong - I don’t hold back from telling him to calm down, just not quite like that!, but it really feels like it’s beginning to dominate our interaction.)

Anyone else in similar boat?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemenorca · 19/11/2019 18:33

Bump

OP posts:
TorchesTorches · 19/11/2019 18:38

I hear you. My son is very sociable and cannot be by himself for long. He talks our makes a noise constantly. It drive me mad when he was a toddler and he would follow me around chattering when i just wanted 5 minutes bloody peace (or actually 2 hours).

He is now 7 and still the same. Nothing you can do!

weymouthswanderingmermaid · 19/11/2019 18:48

I sympathise. My eldest is like this and I can be exhausting!

Original poster
Lovemenorca · 19/11/2019 18:56

Thank you
He’s brushing his teeth and honestly sounds like a jungle in the bathroom.

OP posts:
Corna · 19/11/2019 18:58

My daughter never stops talking, she has a quiet voice and is fun to listen to but sometimes my ears hurt by the end of the day.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 19/11/2019 19:01

A teacher once suggested Where’s Wally books!

NotOnYourSmelly · 19/11/2019 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluewall · 19/11/2019 19:06

My 8 year old talks no stop. He can tell a story without a break for 15 minutes. His younger brother gets really frustrated when they come out of school as he doesn't get a chance to tell me anything. He also loves to shriek and generally make a lot of noise.

I often mutter please just shut the f"*k up under my breath ........ And out loud say could you please stop shouting/ ok one more minute then it's your brother's turn.

It drives me potty too !

MelissaCortezsPastry · 19/11/2019 19:08

I hear you, Ds2 sounds like he is tap dancing when in his bedroom getting ready for bed, he is a teenager and has been this way since he was 1. Ds1 couldn't believe how loud he sounded.

But on the other hand, this is my child, I grew up being told to stop fidgeting, be more assertive, be more confident, basically be more which just led me to believe that my entire personality was wrong. So unless we are in public (too much chatting to wait staff) then I don't tamp it down. He is calm in school but at home he is just himself.

Luckily he has friends just like him, it feels like a tornado has gone through my house when his best mate is here and it is amplified. They are so alike.

Owlypants · 19/11/2019 19:09

Get a Nintendo, some of the Mario levels require concentration and it might keep him quiet for a bit, it's also fun to play together.

Dartsplayer · 19/11/2019 19:10

My 9 year olds talk non stop, like literally every second of the day. It's exhausting

middlemuddle · 19/11/2019 19:11

My ds is the same but hes 5. The only time I get peace is when he plays on the DS

lilgreen · 19/11/2019 19:12

What’s he like at school? I have about 3 in class at the moment and they take up so much of my time with their low level interruptions.

lilgreen · 19/11/2019 19:13

Have you considered ADHD?

formerbabe · 19/11/2019 19:13

My ds was like that at 9...I actually used to feel dizzy from it!

Velveteenfruitbowl · 19/11/2019 19:13

One of mine is like that. I’m hoping that when he’s reading fluently he will stop but if not then I’m afraid we’ll have to pack him off to the boarding house early to preserve my sanity.

madcatladyforever · 19/11/2019 19:14

It's sounds typical of every 9 year old I've ever met. They seem to go through a stage of it. Including mine.

ClapHandsAndSaveTheFairies · 19/11/2019 19:14

Sounds like stimming. Both of my children do this but what you're describing sounds just like my 8 year old.

I have adhd and am being assessed for autism. My eldest is being assessed for both. Youngest is perceived as being possibly both.

Stims are usually a sensory thing. My friends autistic son makes a lot of vocal stims which even disturb their neighbour. He has a need to release these sounds.

My youngest will dance a lot when in the supermarket, it is how she regulates herself in that moment, in that situation.

It has helped to get them both involved in clubs which allow expressions rather than chastise them for them. Safe spaces for these behaviours are important and can help some people as kids can be encouraged to hold it in until they're at this place.

It's why I don't get cross if my kids go nuts in the great outdoors - better to get it out there than inside.

The good thing about looking into helping kids or adults with sensory behaviours is, kids don't need a diagnosis of something for people to action the remedies and support.

ToniHargis · 19/11/2019 19:15

I have 3 fairly talkative kids, and it can be exhausting. However, there's a difference between that and what might be going on his head. The constant movement, fidgeting etc might be a sign of something else. If there is someone at school who specializes in learning differences, perhaps talk to them. I say this (from experience) because the sooner anything is recognised, the sooner a child can be supported to learn in his/her particular style.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 19/11/2019 19:19

It sounds fairly normal for a 9 year old. I have one who was like that, and he calmed down at 11. Then puberty hit...

Mrscog · 19/11/2019 19:20

My 7.5 year old is like this. He’s not even that nice to cuddle anymore as he’s so strong and big but also moves constantly so I’m in constant danger of an elbow to the face/boob/stomach!

wishingyouluck · 19/11/2019 19:20

I have a 10 year old stepson like this, and it really, really does drive you mad. He is very into gaming and it does give us some much needed peace, I would say go for it!!

ultrablue · 19/11/2019 19:20

Both of my daughter's are like this, the youngest being slightly worse than the eldest, my son not quite as much but when he starts he can rattle on too.

Doesn't get any better as they are now 16, 18 and 21 and the eldest doesn't even live at home anymore lol..

Loopytiles · 19/11/2019 19:22

I have a DD like this, and was like this as a DC myself!
I can deal, as can DH (probably from many years of listening to my prattle). It really pisses off my other, quiet and introvert DC though.

Struggle to sit still, even now, and now have a literal restless legs condition to boot Angry

DD seems to do OK at school but zones out a lot.

I do tell her to be quiet at times, and in particular have reigned in the singing.

Luckily she goes to dance class and choir and enjoys that. Weirdly she also loves yoga.

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/11/2019 19:23

My ASD child is like this and currently on diagnostic pathway for ADHD. I-pad is my friend if I need some peace...and a lot of exercise. Am exhausted 👍