To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

“I can see it would be easy as a crafter to fall into the trap of giving everyone something handmade whether they would like it or not.”

I’ve never done this. I have very very limited time to sew and knit so it is paired down to a very select number of presents for people who will really love them, like my mother. I don’t have time to make all the things I want to make to wear or decorate my home myself, let alone for other people!

*pared down
Thanks autocorrect

For Christmas my colleagues and 3 neighbours get a jar of chutney or jam I've made. They are not the type of people to put them in the bin.

Believe me. None of us are the "type," we're not ungrateful. It pains me every time something like this comes our way because it's such a waste for everyone concerned.

I guarantee none of you would complain at our homemade gin

Mum? Is that you
What you mean is you don't know anyone ill mannered enough to insinuate they are anything other than delighted.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius just looking at your post yesterday evening with the felt dogs. They are quite amazing in their detail. Does your friend do commissions?

Some of my favourite gifts are homemade. I adore my sister's baked gifts, she's an amazing cook and they are the most coveted gifts in our family exchange. MIL is a talented artist and did a sketch of our children which is very precious to us. We've been gifted baby blankets and quilts made by friends and family that mean so much to us. Maybe I just know people who play to their strengths, but I haven't had a bad homemade gift yet.

So in my opinion YABU to hate all homemade gifts based on your experience of them. Pretty much all gifts are hit and miss so it's not the homemade element that's the problem. And no, I don't make homemade things, not enough time or talent really. Love receiving them though.

I'd love someone to knit me a Star Wars scarf.

What i find interesting nvm on this thread is that a lot of posters are saying " I only like homemade gifts if they are X and I hate all others

And I think it's about 50/50 between people who only like food and hate all other things and people who hate and would ever touch homemade food but would welcome a well made gift or other varieties.

Personally I would appreciate a well made HM gift if it is either useful or delicious (and caters for dietary needs) or is something I have specifically requested. E.g. knitted mittens on a string from my mother (I work in the cold)

But I agree with OP that there is a lot of tat which goes around Pinterest and other online forums which pass themselves off as 'craft' which are actually one of;

1. Dipping things in glitter
2. Sticking things into another thing
3. Assembling very cheap purchased items into a group and tying with a ribbon. (Hampers, god awful hot chocolate mugs etc.)

Which require no skill, artistic ability and most importantly take no consideration of the receiver's tastes, wishes or desires.

Isn't home made gift same as any gift? If it's thoughtful and appropriate for the recipient it's a good gift regardless if it's bought or made. Storebougt gift can be completely thoughtless shit that gets thrown in the trash and so can home made gift. Carefully thought and grafted home made present can be fantastic as can be a store bought gift that the giver gave a lot of thought.

I voted YABU and I rarely make homemade gifts. It depends on the gifter's skill level and I know my own limitations. (The sort of gifts that resemble a toddler's nursery creation are definitely unreasonable for adults. However, I think only a child would give something of that level - and the sentimental value would be worth it to a close family member.)

It is not whether the gift is homemade or not. It is whether the gift is suitable for the recipient. Giving someone something because you make them regardless of whether they are suitable is the same as grabbing stuff from a shop without any regard for the recipient.

I have very sensitive skin and can only use prescription bathing products. I had years of my brothers and sisters buying me bath products I could never ever use. However, a friend of mine is into aromatherapy and made me some beautifully scented Epsom Salts which I could use and were wonderful.

I don't like ornaments or nicknacks so those would not be a good gift for me. But if you make me something I can eat or wear I am super happy.

YANBU. It’s lazy and selfish. It’s all about what the giver can or wants to make with no thought or regard to the receiver bar maybe sticking their favourite colour in there somewhere.

WTAF there goes someone who has never created anything in their lives. There's nothing lazy or selfish about home made gifts, it's a hell of a lot less effort & sometimes expense to pop out & buy some tat or other that's likely to be equally un appreciated & be adding to landfill 🤷‍♀️

Definitely, shop bought gifts can be equally thoughtless/tat. Shop bought tat can at least go to the charity shop though, so someone even minimally benefits.

I'd be equally thrilled to receive a wooden plaque of tat with "prosecco princess" on it as I would another bottle of undrinkable homemade plonk.

With the plonk, you have the almost annoying obligation to over praise, because the gifter thinks they've made something so wonderful that it's gift worthy, and you have to play along with that, irrespective of the quality. Which then feeds their delusion, because if you're honest, you'll be the "ungrateful, ungracious" etc.... which I'm not, I'm very grateful that someone thought of me.

With the shop bought tat, you don't have to go overboard with the praise, because theres no effort level, or "aren't you clever" to acknowledge. And it can go to a charity shop.

So I think it's safe to say, we don't want any tat. But of the two, shop bought (and therefore recyclable) tat is marginally better.

Perhaps I need to rethink my gift giving

Alongside buying gifts that I know are desired I also add in home made stuff. Think fancy cup cakes presented in proper cake boxes, home made sweets presented in glass jars, cakes etc. I do this as they are always so well received. Perhaps they are sparing my feelings 🤷‍♀️

Personally, I think that handmade gifts take a lot more time and effort, than shop bought ones. Also, you don't always know the financial details of someone's life, and this may be all that they can afford. Accept it graciously, even if you only bin it afterwards.

I do make some gifts, but they are as an extra, and they are things that people have tried before and requested more of. ie, chilli jam, gin and tonic marshmallows, ginger beer (DH makes it) and mince pie filling. For the kids, I usually do a small pot of slime each, tailored to their favourite colour, or containing confetti of their favourite TV character. And also some home made bath fizzers. This will be in addition to their main gift.

And I always check about allergies beforehand, to ensure I don't gift anything that could cause a reaction.

crochetgifts Someone at work saw a photo of a tea cosy l made for a friend's birthday. lt's quite a complicated design, and she raved about it. Asked if l'd make one for her, l said yes. Then she said she wanted three. Fine by me. Until she said "l'll pay you for the wool!"
As you know, it's not just the cost of the materials. This particular design takes me a full day at least. Even if l charge £20, which you can get them for on Etsy, (and without being boastful, mine are just as good, if not better, than some on there, l'm very neat and finish my work off very precisely) it's not a lot of money for a day's work. l'm going to make one, then tell her they'll be £20 each. l suspect she won't want three then. lf she doesn't want the one l've made, l can sell it easily enough. When l posted photos of the one l made for my friend on social media, two people asked if l'd make one for them. l think unless you're a crafter, you don't realise or appreciate the cost and the work involved.

My mum knits/crochets beautiful things, I always appreciate a beret for me or one of her gorgeous blankets for one of the family children.

My older sister thinks she is equally skilled- she really isn't. She painted canvases last christmas, (my 9 year old is a far better artist)- and she puts glitter on everything. I'm in my 30's not 13! She also bakes stuff but she is a crap cook.

The difference isn't even the talent- it's the thought. My mum discusses makes, yarn, colours patterns with the recipient. My sister makes things she likes with no regards to the recipients preference.

I'd rather my sister didn't bother at all.

MachineBee l've seen some beautiful hand knitted baby clothes (new ones, which seem to have been made specially) in a local charity shop. They're only a couple of quid each, which l appreciate is reasonable for a charity shop, but as you said, it's quite sad that so much love and work has gone into an item, and that isn't always appreciated.

Those mosaics are amazing.

I agree with pps that all those saying "my edibles are amazing" don't really know that's the case unless people are actively asking them to make more. So for example the post where the SIL has 15 jars of the chutney in her pantry arranged in date order - if the SIL really loved them would she not have eaten them...

@BustedDreams

Possibly. But not definitely.

Your post sounds like you've gifted these things to more than one person on more than one occasion. Have any of these people subsequently paid you (actually paid, not just thrown it into conversation but it's never materialised) to make anything of the like again, either for themselves, or to gift forward?

If the answer is yes, you're good at what you do and the gifts are most likely genuinely appreciated. As per on this thread, some posters have shown talented homemade gifts and are getting enquiries for commissions.

If the answer is no? ..... awkward whistle....

Damntheman My best friend would LOVE your Star Wars scarf! She's the one l made the Darth Vader mask blanket for.

@katseyes7 I feel you! I made myself a nerdy blanket recently. 48 squares of nerdy things mostly designed by myself, double knitted (so it's reversible), all knitted and then kitchener stitched together afterwards. it's big enough for a queen bed and took me 4 months to make it (during which I had a broken foot so I had a LOT of time to knit). Acquaintance was all "OMG I need one, make one for me! I'll pay for the wool!" I loled and said she wouldn't be able to afford to pay for the man power and I've heard nothing about it since.

Friend asked me once why I don't sell my things on etsy. It's because they take so long to knit up that by the time I added in work time to the cost they'd be astronomically expensive! I'd much rather knit gifts for (appreciative) friends.

haha! Cross post to each other kat :D I adore EVERYTHING you've posted. I would just love to be that good at quilting. The scarf actually wasn't my design! (the hat was and it made me cross eyed). Pattern is free here www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/star-wars-double-knit-scarf have at it for your friend!

The more I read the against comments, the more I see this is not about homemade gifts but about thoughtless gifts.

I agree that it's crap to batch make gifts for everyone, but not crap to batch make for a handful with similar tastes who you then personalise the gifts for. I also agree that unless you absolutely get someone's decor taste, it's not a good idea to give art or decor type stuff. I'm a designer/garment technician by trade & have all of the machinery in my home studio & could knock you up custom fit, couture quality clothing in no time, but even I rarely give clothes as gifts as it's so personal.

I make votives for SIL, because she prefers mine to Jo Malone (higher oil content) & I colour match to her decor & work out perfume recipes that suit her taste etc. It's very much a personal gift which I know she loves as she tells DH when she's ran out & wonders if I'm making another batch. I will also be making her a bottle of something this year too, but only because it's a drink we both remember & love from childhood & can't get anymore, nit expensive to make but a huge amount of faff

Everything I make has a lot of thought in it for the individual person. I wouldn't do that if I didn't know them well enough to know what they'd really appreciate

I've been given a bottle of homemade wine before for a birthday, I was disappointed, not because it was homemade wine, but because I rarely drink, don't care much for wine & so there was no thought in that gift at all. Besides, with teens in the house, even crap homemade wine doesn't go to waste & you could always use it for cooking

I think homemade gifts are lovely and I give a few myself for birthdays and Christmas. I wish I had the time to make more but they can take a while to do. I have given knitted items and make jams and chutneys. I don't give them to people that won't use them or want them but everything I've made seems appreciated by the people I've gifted them to.

I quite like getting homemade gifts but I can be a bit picky if things are not to my taste. I wouldn't, for example, want a wine glass covered in glitter, decopaged jars or scrabble/tile art in a frame. I've been given homemade candles, which were lovely and jams/chutneys which were tasty and easy to use up in our house.

We had a lot of beautiful things made for us when our LO was born - little cardigans, handknit blankets, sewn outfits and scrapbooks.

Damntheman Absolutely this!! lt's not about people being cheeky, but unless they make stuff themselves, they just don't realise how much work goes into it. l made the blue and white blanket for my friend a few years ago, from DK weight wool. She absolutely loves it, but obviously because of the yarn weight and the size (king size) it's pretty bulky and heavy. So for next year's birthday l'm making her the same size and colours, but in 4 ply yarn and on a smaller hook. So it'll be finer and lighter. l'm fairly confident that it'll be much loved and appreciated, as she has said that in the warmer weather, the other one stays on the bottom of her bed, folded back. l've been making squares for a few months now, and l've got three months to finish it! No way would anyone pay for the labour for that.