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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*

149 replies

PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 15:50

Please excuse the KS2 diagram as I've used an online version on paint - as you can tell from the wheels of the cars it's not to scale.

NDN keeps asking us to move the second car on the shared driveway. Apparently it's blocking her access to her driveway as it's a struggle to get past/see when she's turning in. The first time I thought she meant that I had parked too far over and now we park on the pavement near the garden. 7am this morning we get another knock asking us to not park at the end of the drive way as it will be our fault if they scratch our car. Apparently especially during rush hour it's difficult to get in (it's not overly) and that's why they whip around. We've lived here for donkeys years and only just moved back (was rented out when they moved in), we've never had an issue with other neighbours/nobody has ever complained of struggling to get in.

I thought they were very unreasonable but a family member agreed that maybe they had a point (but she is a very nervous driver).

*named change as I think this could be very outing.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
Original poster
PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 19:37

Just to clear up some questions: the second car is usually a guest/visitor/client. It’s not usually our car. If we’re expecting guests and my partner is here we’ll park them as close to the house as possible/or he’ll park on the road for the third to park behind us which is completely our right. If there’s three cars here the third car is closer to to the road and would block their swing into the drive more. Also, I don’t think they should be swinging into the drive as what if my kid is walking up our drive/playing on bikes? What happens at T junctions with their skill set? Ask the person waiting at the junction to move their car as they can’t manoeuvre around it. I get it’s a smaller space than a t junction and she does have shit spatial awareness by the state of her car.

While us using her drive to manoeuvre around our cars may be CF it’s a totally separate issue apart from general neighbour friendliness and saying on their good side (pun not attended ha!)

OP posts:
Dilkhush · 19/11/2019 19:46

It's a separate issue for you. It may not be for her.

Original poster
PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 19:57

In the form of procrastination i've decided to do another diagram (i've even worked out how to do stamps which represent tires).

While I think it's a great solution it seems like a lot of agro landscaping the whole garden.. i'm going to make sure that the immediate family know of her useless driving skills and make sure they park down the driveway.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/11/2019 20:11

How can it be a separate issue? You are saying they can’t use your drive but you can use theirs

Original poster
PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 20:37

@Sirzy I'm not saying that can't use my drive, quite the opposite.

I'm saying they're moaning that there's a car parked on my drive at the end of the drive way which means they struggle to get in when it's peak traffic; aka when they see a gap in the traffic they just quickly pull into the driveway without looking to see if there's car parked at the top of the drive way. I've done another Diagram (i'm majorly procrastinating and having a bad day hence why i'm sitting here doing this right now). The red line shows how she should enter her driveway and the blue line is obviously what she does and how she must struggle pulling into the drive way. While I don't mind them on my driveway I'd prefer if they didn't drive into my car.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
Lweji · 19/11/2019 20:41

Loving your new diagram. Grin

Actually, the landscaped version, although not necessarily with a concrete wall (as if she was Mexico), seems a much better solution for parking 3 cars than the current one. Regardless of neighbour.

ManiacalLapwing · 19/11/2019 20:41

Can't she use a different route or turn around at the next side street after the house so she's on the same side of the road to turn in if she is that bad a driver?

Lweji · 19/11/2019 20:45

Could you suggest that you swap sides on the drive? That way she can drive in at will and damage your lawn in the process but at least without damage to any car

Original poster
PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 20:52

@lweji well she could turn into the cul-de-sac which is a few houses away but that also involves a t-junction.

OP posts:
NorthernLightss · 19/11/2019 20:57

If you can afford the landscaped option, it does sound like a good idea.
I'm not sure why so many people were upset at the idea of you driving over your neighbour's drive, when it's clear they want you to keep the front of yours empty so they can drive over yours. It sounds like your neighbour feels the same though, so perhaps the alternative layout is best.

JKScot4 · 19/11/2019 21:00

I think this boils down to the fact your ndn is useless at driving and obviously regularly hits other cars, walls etc. I’d suggest the landscaping plan to her for her garden, why should her useless driving cost you £££.

lljkk · 19/11/2019 21:25

I ❤️ your diagrams.

NoSquirrels · 19/11/2019 21:27

What’s neighbour’s biggest problem? Is it coming in (as per latest diagram) or getting out (as most people have assumed)?

What would neighbour like you to do? I see she’s moaned but what solution would she like?

diddl · 19/11/2019 21:33

Why would you make your front garden into parking when you already have room for 3 cars on the drive??

Shoppingwithmother · 19/11/2019 21:37

Nobody seems to be saying it, but yes, if you park at the end of your drive near the toad like that it does definitely make it more difficult for her. Even if she tries to drive in like your red line on the latest diagram, that is not how cars turn in real life. However good a driver you are, the car will be at an angle in entering the drive and then straighten up as you drive further in. Thus if you park further up your drive it will make things easier for her.

That’s not to say you have to though, and she can’t demand it.

Lweji · 19/11/2019 21:43

Even if she tries to drive in like your red line on the latest diagram, that is not how cars turn in real life. However good a driver you are, the car will be at an angle in entering the drive and then straighten up as you drive further in.

Not true. From the other side of the road, cars can easily enter the drive already straight. It seems is that she turns too early and/or too fast.

FraggleRocking · 19/11/2019 21:46

I think you’re being a bit close-minded. Yes, she should be able to get round your guest car but why should she? You go onto the other side of the drive. You can either never cross into each other’s sides and BOTH respect that but you seem to want to have use of the whole drive and block the end of it for your own convenience.

justilou1 · 19/11/2019 21:52

I think she needs to learn to bloody drive and stop being a whiny, entitled, cf!!! I also think it’s time to chat with her and her husband.

bluetue · 19/11/2019 22:01

Put some bollards up. She's being stupid

RUOKHUN · 19/11/2019 22:07

Highly recommend getting a front and back dash cam just in case they scratch your car...

FishyMcFishyfingersFace · 19/11/2019 22:13

YANBU. But when there are two cars parked on your side of the driveway have you tried driving onto her side to see how hard/easy it is? It might be worth asking her if you can try in her car just to see how tight it is with cars already there, means you get to experience it from her perspective. (It is easier to get a car onto the drive without a car there than to manoeuvre past a car into a small space.)

If it is genuinely a squeeze you might be more willing to compromise in some way, if she is just being careless with her parking and could fit a tank in the space then tell her to stop being ridiculous.

Cantdecidewhere · 19/11/2019 22:17

And needs to learn how to reverse into driveway if it's such a huge issue for her.
If it's a busy time on the time suggest she pops out when its quietened down and then reverse in.
She sounds like a pita.

KitKat1985 · 19/11/2019 22:17

I have a similar driveway set up. If she pulls up straight there's no reason she shouldn't be able to get past the cars on your driveway. She's being cheeky.

CheshireDing · 19/11/2019 22:33

She needs to reverse in, same as you would in a busy supermarket car park

It’s illegal to reverse out on to a main rias anyway.

She needs to pull over on to the pavement outside her house then reverse in, easy enough.

HolyMilkBoobiesBatman · 19/11/2019 22:52

I expect her issue is the expectation that you can use her driveway to make your lives easier (by not having to move both cars every time the further back car wants out) but you don’t appear to want to help make her life easier by parking a little further back to give her more swing room to get in/out.

Her driving skills don’t really come into it imo, it’s about being a little more considerate to one another in the interests of neighbourly relations.
Could your partner/guests not park a foot or two closer to your other car? It might mean a bit more manoeuvring to get your car out but will allow her a little extra space of swing room?

FWIW my old house was like this and no, we didn’t have any access rights over the other side, i think it’s just a quicker way to build houses - concrete a big slab between every other house to make two driveways rather than doing an individual one between each house.

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