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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*

149 replies

PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 15:50

Please excuse the KS2 diagram as I've used an online version on paint - as you can tell from the wheels of the cars it's not to scale.

NDN keeps asking us to move the second car on the shared driveway. Apparently it's blocking her access to her driveway as it's a struggle to get past/see when she's turning in. The first time I thought she meant that I had parked too far over and now we park on the pavement near the garden. 7am this morning we get another knock asking us to not park at the end of the drive way as it will be our fault if they scratch our car. Apparently especially during rush hour it's difficult to get in (it's not overly) and that's why they whip around. We've lived here for donkeys years and only just moved back (was rented out when they moved in), we've never had an issue with other neighbours/nobody has ever complained of struggling to get in.

I thought they were very unreasonable but a family member agreed that maybe they had a point (but she is a very nervous driver).

*named change as I think this could be very outing.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
TheMasterBaker · 19/11/2019 16:09

Are you me? We have a similar issue, we own an L shape piece of land, a driveway and the section of road in front of our houses, all the houses on our little road at the same. My neighbour one side constantly moans at how we park, yet we park much more considerately than they do, ie, they park so I can only get in my drive if I reverse in, but as I'm capable of doing that, we don't complain. We should apparently park our car on our front garden so people can get past, yet there's more than enough room for cars to get past comfortably, he just likes to moan and thinks he owns the place. I absolutely fail to see why your NDN has an issue with your parking if the diagram is correct. If she can't turn down the drive without scraping cars, maybe suggest she takes some refresher driving lessons? Does she never drive down roads where one side is completely taken up by parked cars, one way systems or country lanes? If she doesn't cut the corner when she turns in, there's no reason she should catch your car. YANBU.

RightYesButNo · 19/11/2019 16:10

Fence is a great idea. Problem solved and she won’t be able to scratch your car. Also, she is absolutely bonkers if she thinks she has any excuse for scratching your car - she will be 100% in the wrong for damaging your vehicle as it’s on your land. You can’t compromise with someone like that. Well, you can, but I guarantee it will bite you in the arse.

ruralcat · 19/11/2019 16:11

They're being ridiculous, that setup is very common in newbuild properties. I'd continue to park there and if challenged explain that I don't own a driveway just for it to sit unused.

FraggleRocking · 19/11/2019 16:11

The gap looks big. Do you always move the other car or do you sometimes use the gap and NDNs side of the drive to get your car out. This might have something to do with it when you could park closer together?

CalmFizz · 19/11/2019 16:12

I think the trouble is you don’t want to be inconvenienced (leaving a large gap/using her side of the driveway) but you don’t mind inconveniencing her (narrowing her swing room in and out)

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/11/2019 16:13

You are being very unreasonable to drive on their drive instead of moving the car at the front. I'd have put up a fence if I was her.

FraggleRocking · 19/11/2019 16:14

X post - I think this is this issue. Because you have set a precedent for this NDN might feel like you get to park 2 cars and she can only park 1.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/11/2019 16:15

She should reverse into her drive. Then she can get in and out easier.

JKScot4 · 19/11/2019 16:16

If your Ndn is incapable of getting into a two car drive with seemingly ample space she should stop driving as she obviously has no spacial awareness and to be frank is useless at driving.

InACheeseAndPickle · 19/11/2019 16:17

It does change things that you are using their side if the drive to swing out. You then can't claim you can do what you like because it's your half of the drive.

PotteringAlong · 19/11/2019 16:18

You can’t drive on her part of the driveway! Put up a fence. Job done.

Polydactyly · 19/11/2019 16:20

Your Ndn might need their license taking off them if they can’t park so easily.

Rosecottage888 · 19/11/2019 16:20

YABU to use her side of the drive to get out and for parking your cars knowing this is what you'll do. What would you do if they had 2 cars?

RightYesButNo · 19/11/2019 16:21

I'm not sure if this puts a spanner in the works as something we've always done but if we want to get passed the second car we go on NDN driveway to get around it - hence the gap.

Agree this is the issue. You can either put up a barrier between the two sides of the drive and lose this convenience or accept that eventually she’s going to scratch your vehicle and blame you. Maybe she’s even upset that you’ve been using her drive and this is her version of passive aggression. Who knows. I don’t really see another foolproof answer - every person on this thread can tell you she’s being unreasonable, but we can’t physically stop her from scratching your car, and neither can you without a barrier. Maybe some nice penguin bollards Grin

mummmy2017 · 19/11/2019 16:22

You have to stop driving over her bit, as right now she lets you, but feels you won't do anything in return.
Tell her to drive in so she crosses traffic, as it means a less sharp turn.

user1493413286 · 19/11/2019 16:23

I have a driveway like that and to be fair when my neighbour has 2 cars on his drive it does sometimes involve a manoeuvre to get into our front space and avoid hitting their car BUT that’s just how it is; I’d never not expect them to park on their own driveway to make my life easier.

LetsSplashMummy · 19/11/2019 16:24

Does your partner have a massive car that is higher than hers and difficult to see past?

If so, you are making things worse for her by leaving a gap between your cars, and the big one so far front, a gap which lets you scoot over her drive and out. I can see why she'd be annoyed that you don't move that car back a bit.

You might not be technically wrong (except when driving over her drive) but it is a bit selfish if she's making your life easier, not complaining about you driving across her drive. It's just a bit uneven, she's considerate and your not. I think you'll lose all good Will if you don't even try.

RedskyToNight · 19/11/2019 16:25

Well if you consider the half of the drive nearest your house to be "your" drive, then you can park where you want. But that would mean that the other half of the driveway was your neighbour's and therefore you couldn't use it to swing out to make your life easier.

Personally I'd just park the car a bit further back to keep neighbour happier. Otherwise their "solution" might be to park at the very front of the drive themselves, which will mean you can't do your swinging round manouvere.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/11/2019 16:28

If she can't turn park on a normal drive, she shouldn't be allowed on the road!

FFS: Just tell her you'll move it back as far as possible, but suggest maybe she enrols for a few parking lessons as you've never had any complaints before.

CadburysTastesVileNow · 19/11/2019 16:29

What Bernadette said. Driving past and then reversing in will give her a better field of view for both parking and unparking

TriangularRatbag · 19/11/2019 16:29

She needs to learn to drive!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/11/2019 16:30

I'm not sure if this puts a spanner in the works as something we've always done but if we want to get passed the second car we go on NDN driveway to get around it - hence the gap

No, that's you guys being CF. Park further back. Sorry, cross post.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 19/11/2019 16:31

Got a similar situation here with a neighbour who also can't drive.

The problem isn't my parking, it's her driving. She gets really nervous and parks on the street (and then complains) rather than the shared drive (with ample space) because "turning to the left of the driveway is hard if there's another car"

She's 34, no disabilities, just nervous of turning a steering wheel. Bit of a worry.

I ignore it. She can whine all she likes, the issue is not my tiny car on the wide drive.

Mishfit0819 · 19/11/2019 16:32

Looks perfectly fine to me. Buy her some driving lessons for Christmas Grin

MelissaCortezsPastry · 19/11/2019 16:33

She needs to either reverse in or just be a better driver, perhaps she should have a refresher course with an instructor.

I don't see how this would be any different if she had a single drive with brick pillars at the end.

I lived next to a woman who could not reverse, she said the gap was too small for her to judge it (low brick wall on either side of entrance to the garages) yet everyone else did it. She drove a car the size of a Corsa and a removal van managed to reverse in.