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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*

149 replies

PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 15:50

Please excuse the KS2 diagram as I've used an online version on paint - as you can tell from the wheels of the cars it's not to scale.

NDN keeps asking us to move the second car on the shared driveway. Apparently it's blocking her access to her driveway as it's a struggle to get past/see when she's turning in. The first time I thought she meant that I had parked too far over and now we park on the pavement near the garden. 7am this morning we get another knock asking us to not park at the end of the drive way as it will be our fault if they scratch our car. Apparently especially during rush hour it's difficult to get in (it's not overly) and that's why they whip around. We've lived here for donkeys years and only just moved back (was rented out when they moved in), we've never had an issue with other neighbours/nobody has ever complained of struggling to get in.

I thought they were very unreasonable but a family member agreed that maybe they had a point (but she is a very nervous driver).

*named change as I think this could be very outing.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
Greggers2017 · 19/11/2019 16:40

How on earth does she manage in car parks. If she can't get off her drive she needs her license taking away. I bet she's also one of those people that drives at 40mph on a 60mph road

HeyNotInMyName · 19/11/2019 16:42

I was coming to say exactly that @MelissaCortezsPastry
If she has an issue reversing out, she should reverse back onto the drive so she can just pull out when she leaves.

FWIW I can see how this could be an issue for her if the traffic is bad/there is vegetation/a corner further away that blocks the view but it is a pretty normal set up.
I also agree that she might well be pissed off that you are using her drive wo asking her first. But if I had wanted to be PA about it, I would just have left the car close to the road instead....

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/11/2019 16:43

If you insist on swinging round on her drive to get one car out, you could at least move the second car up to where the first car was, while you're out in the first car. Or just take whichever car is at the end of the drive.

My set up is identical. With a nice neighbour it works; with a selfish one it doesn't. I park all the way over, to leave as much room as possible, but my bad neighbours then parked right on the centre line, effectively taking 2/3 of the combined drive space. And then the one time I parked on the centre line (because I needed access on the other side), bad neighbour carefully positioned their car right next to mine, a few inches from my driver's door so I couldn't get in - on a 3-car driveway, just like yours. Thank heaven they've moved out.

OverthinkingThis · 19/11/2019 16:45

Agree with pp, NDN clearly can't park very well (and should really be reversing onto the drive as its better from a visibility point of view).

But you absolutely shouldn't be nipping over their drive to avoid moving the front car on yours. And so yes you could put the front car further back.

SoupDragon · 19/11/2019 16:45

I'm not sure if this puts a spanner in the works as something we've always done but if we want to get passed the second car we go on NDN driveway to get around it - hence the gap.

I assume you have their permission for this?? Yo leave a gap which makes it more difficult for her but allows you to drive on their driveway to make things easier for you? Really?

Theflying19 · 19/11/2019 16:47

What is she talking about? Everyone kniws you should reverse into a parking space and there's plenty of room for that. At the supermarket does she object to anyone parking next to her because it obscures her view?!? Bonkers!

Drum2018 · 19/11/2019 16:50

From your update I think you are being a bit unreasonable. You need to park the second car nearer the house and stop using her side of the driveway just because it's convenient for you. Whoever parks nearest road will just have to move their car out of the drive if the other person needs to get out. Once your cars are parked up nearer the house your NDN should have no issue getting in or out, but if she does then that's not your problem.

Lweji · 19/11/2019 16:56

Does she front park or rear park? Which way on the road is she coming in from?

I don't see what her problem is. If her problem is backing into the drive, she needs a) to use her mirrors, b) learn how to park.

And
as it will be our fault if they scratch our car
Hell, no.

AJPTaylor · 19/11/2019 17:01

The first question is
Is it a shared drive where you both have rights of access over the entire thing or (more likely) do you each own your half with a boundary down the middle?
If the latter simply point out that she needs to get on/ off her drive without coming onto your side.

Gazelda · 19/11/2019 17:02

So you drive across their driveway to make it more convenient for you.

Now she is asking you to park differently so that she can drive across your driveway to make it more convenient for her.

Hmm. I think you've accidentally created a 'tit for tat' situation.

The only solutions I can think of would be either
A) park your second car closer to the first so that she can cut across your driveway to get out easier or
B) continue to park as you currently do (and is your right) but expect her to insist you no longer use her driveway to manoeuvre your first car out without having to move the first.

diddl · 19/11/2019 17:02

Well if it's all so easy, OP has no need to leave space, does she?

If the 2nd car is wanted, the first can nip onto the road, 2nd leaves, 1st reverses back onto drive.

JKScot4 · 19/11/2019 17:02

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria
Does your ndn only ever turn left? She’ll never get anywhere 🤣🤣

ellendegeneres · 19/11/2019 17:02

Dash cam is your friend here. And the power of ignoring her at the door.
If she hits your vehicle, you have proof. She needs to learn to bloody park

Sirzy · 19/11/2019 17:03

If my neighbour was cutting over my side of the drive to get out then I would be parking my car as far back as possible to stop them (but I can be a bitch!)

The easy answer is you park your cars closer together then they won’t make it harder for her

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 19/11/2019 17:07

She is bu. If it was a single drive or you had a railing/fence separating your half she'd have to manage to get in and out of her driveway then.

MerryDeath · 19/11/2019 17:07

that's a ridiculous request. she should book some refresher driving lessons for manoeuvring.

i suggest you go to chandlery and get yourself some fenders.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 19/11/2019 17:07

I have the same set up. I reverse onto the drive, as do my neighbours.

LoonyLunaLoo · 19/11/2019 17:08

Hang on a minute, you won’t park further back because it hinders your ability to drive on to her drive to get out?! I’m not sure she’s the CF here!

CalmFizz · 19/11/2019 17:09

If I were the other woman’s friend I’d advise her to park on her half exactly where your 2nd car parks.

PurpleWithRed · 19/11/2019 17:11

While I applaud the inclusion of a diagram I’m afraid we need one to scale or a photo to really help: its impossible to decide if it’s difficult for her to get in or out without seeing the actual space available.

LoudBatPerson · 19/11/2019 17:14

Until your last update, I was going to say YANBU and she is the CF.

However having seen that you leave a considerable gap to make your life easier, and use her drive to do this, I think you are the CF. The nearer the second car is to the end of the drive the less space for turning (either forwards to reversing) and the worse the visibility will be. You could improve both of these, but choose not too.

The guess the neighbour could easily park near the start of the drive but doesn't to avoid making things harder than they need to be for you. You don't extend them the same courtesy.

I would guess she has had enough of you using her drive, whilst making it harder for her to park (although I think she should be able to manage without the risk of damaging your car). I wouldn't; be surprised if she is only complaining as she is sick of seeing you driving on her side.

You need to start parking the two cars closer together, as far away from the mouth of the drive as possible and stop using your neighbours part of the drive.

QueenBeex · 19/11/2019 17:15

I think it looks fine where your cars are parked.

Lweji · 19/11/2019 17:16

I don't see the problem with the second car being more or less to the front. She should be able to get in and out as if parking between two cars anyway. Plus there's a path on her side that should give some space to maneuver.

Original poster
PaintDiagram · 19/11/2019 17:27

The NDN husband does the same thing if he's the first to park in the driveway and she used to do it before she scrapped our old tenants/family friend's car.

The end car is very rarely right at the end of the drive unless there's two cars already on our driveway.

I'm going to hunt out some old paperwork and find out about the boundaries. If it is the case that we can't temporarily 'share' the driveway while pulling out we might as well change the garden to fit three parking spaces right at the end of the garden. She'd still be stuck with her crappy driving skills with the cars but less neighbour wars.

I like to think i'm not a nob, the first time she asked I did go move my car as I thought she meant it was too far over to the centre so I pulled onto our path to make an easier route.

Parking AIBU *with Diagram*
OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 19/11/2019 17:27

Well with the drip feed (the spanner issue) that DOES make all the difference - I think we need to know as previously asked is this a shared drive with rights of way, or is it that you simply have your drives next to each other and no one has ever bothered to put up a fence? If its the latter get a fence up, everyone sorts themselves out, end of.