Cafe wouldn’t let pregnant woman use toilet

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I’ve just ordered some breakfast for collection from a local cafe round the corner and had a quick flick through the reviews first. The most recent review is:

‘As a heavily pregnant lady went in desperate for the bathroom and they refused to let me use their toilet despite me being in tears and not close to anywhere else open. In a packed shop full of customers, they said no with no heart, no remorse, no feeling. Have never been more horrified, myself and my husband will never be using this place again’

I feel like it’s a bit harsh and the bit about there being nowhere to go close by is very untrue. There’s a Morrison’s maximum 5 minutes walk away with toilets. As a (second time) pregnant woman myself I wouldn’t get annoyed if an establishment didn't let me use staff toilets, I’d just find somewhere with public ones. The cafe gave a long response as to why they couldn’t let her use the bathroom. Mainly because their insurance didn’t cover customers in the staff area of the cafe and there were lots of boxes etc. laid about. If the pregnant woman had hurt herself then it probably wouldn’t have been good for them. They also said they managed to get the keys for the toilet in the opposite pub so it’s not like the reviewer didn’t get to use one. I think it was quite kind of them to go to the effort of making sure she used a bathroom.

Do you think she’s being reasonable or not? I think she’s being a bit U due to there being a Morrison’s so close by! (I’m not the cafe owner just interested in people’s views). My DM thinks they should have let her use it no questions asked purely because she was pregnant, I’m a little unsure

How long would it take for some enterprising theives to work out that whilst their mate is being escorted to the toilet they can swipe the takings?

Well of course chains have their place, lets all go to the evil non tax paying c6iffe chains for a pee then go spend our money in a little independent coffee shop (sarcasm intended)

I'm not saying let everyone traipse in and out but a heavily pregnant woman, a child, an OAP, show some kindness!

Just those categories?

What about someone with diarrhoea?
Or a bladder problem
Or a UTI
Or who got stuck in terrible traffic and is now bursting?
Or anyone who isn't an OAP or pregnant (heavily or newly) or a child but just really needs the loo?

Who says your line is the right one to "show some kindness" to? Why not any of the people I have suggested? Or in fact anybody who was passing, at any time, for any reason? If not, why not? It would be unkind not to, after all...

I'm not saying let everyone traipse in and out but a heavily pregnant woman, a child, an OAP, show some kindness!

You do realise that criminals use pregnant women in distraction burglaries don't you?? It's pretty well known.

How would you feel if the cafe owner had to go and clean someones body fluids from the toilet (with or without a brush) and then came out to serve your food.

But logically, they would do this, or find a cleaner, if that person had paid £1 or £50 for a meal. What's the difference? (apart from money in the till)?

How long would it take for some enterprising theives to work out that whilst their mate is being escorted to the toilet they can swipe the takings?

Staff have a password and also a key to lock the till. I worked in a shop 40 years ago and we had a key to lock the till if we had to leave it. Things have moved on since then with security.

I know how security works I work in retail, and I also know how theives work to get around the security.

A cafe with no loo is weird

Not where I live! There are at least 3 small cafes in my town alone that have no customer toilets.

After 12 years of working out in the community, I could write a comprehensive guide to the lavatories of the district. The nicest ones are in the libaries, which is great because you don't feel you have buy something in a library, and 2 of the 4 libraries have parking very close by. Mind you, I regularly used to use the lavs in Macdonalds without buying anything, either.

The northern part of the district is very rural, lots of small villages, only one of which has a public bog. You can be 12 miles from loo, and then the only alternative is to wee in a field. Had to do this many a time, and often wondered what our H&S manager would make of an accident report involving falling while climbing a gate on the way for a piss ...

The McDonalds I know have a keypad where you have to key in the number from your receipt. No nipping in there to use the toilets.

I've been to many cafe's that don't have toilets for customers.

She could have bought something. I have done this many times, and just get told to use the toilets anyway lol.

The shop was packed so there would have been no staff member to escort her back to the toilets. She was lucky they tried to find somewhere for her to go.
She needs to get used to it now, there's no special treatment for having a child.
Although must say, if it was me, I would have pissed myself before an alternative was found.

Been to a few Starbucks with the code on the receipt.

So you know that all your customers are mentally stable and not arsonists?

There's no guarantee at all, but a customer will likely have been in there long enough to be noticed. They're also more likely to be regulars (granted, not always). Even if they're one-time customers, it's much easier to realise/remember that the petite lady with the short brown hair and the green coat at the table by the window was there for about 45 minutes with her coffee, sausage and chips and brownie before she finished, nipped to the toilet and then the next person to go in after her noticed that it was on fire or otherwise left in a filthy state. If somebody slipped in for one minute, used the toilet unnoticed and then left, it's much harder to know who the culprit might have been.

Also, I would say the fact that they've taken the trouble to order and pay for food/drink and spend time consuming it strongly suggests that that was their main impetus for coming in. If somebody's intention is to cause trouble/vandalise/set fire/shoot up, I wouldn't imagine most of them would want to 'invest' the time and money sitting in with food and drink (and giving people a chance to notice identifying details about them) rather than doing what they'd come in for. A customer doesn't come in in order to use the toilet - it's just a side service they also happen to use.

sweeneytoddsrazor
How would you feel if the cafe owner had to go and clean someones body fluids from the toilet (with or without a brush) and then came out to serve your food.

huh? You are making no sense. If the cafe has a toilet then the owner/staff WILL be going in and cleaning it (with or without a brush - whatever that means...). What are you talking about? Or do you think customers pee and poop out fragrant flowers and only (gasp) non-customers, soil the porcelain throne?

When people stop being fucking pigs with no respect to other's property, then business will become more friendly about the use of the toilets.
I've seen unspeakable things from people , especially the ones with children, done to the toilets. Someone actually once shat next to the toilet. NEXT TO IT.🤮And that's still one of the better ones🤷

Hear, hear, Safety.

@Goodgriefsunshine
As pointed out above paying customers use the toilet as a side issue to coming in ordering. There are in the main although not always more likely to be respectful of the facilities. At a very basic level if it is just paying customers there are fewer so you wont need to be in there so often. Would you go back to a cafe if you took your child to the toilet and found a used syringe because someone had wandered in to shoot up onnthe pretext of needing the toilet?

Exactly, Goodgrief. Again, it's not difficult to be free and easy with other peoples' property and time.

sweeneytoddsrazor but you still make no sense. Whether people use the loo as a 'side issue' or as the main event, they still pee and poop and the owner/staff will still need to maintain the loos and then you've got your scenario of bizarre non brush using toilet cleaning hands serving customers. Makes zero sense. Going down some tangent about druggies shooting up is not really my point. My point is that you are making no sense. I don't know where you live but most people around here are pretty good at seeing a person in distress and I would like to think in those scenarios, the cafe would allow them to use the loo. When did it get from this to hoards of zombie state druggies swarming in mobs to shoot up in a cafe loo?

You make perfect sense, sweeney. My DD works in a cafe that has no loo for customers. It's busy and booming. Want to use the loo, you get the code on a receipt. It's not their job to discern who is 'desperate' or 'deserving' or provide a public toilet. Most people aren't so entitled to think so, either.

And again, if kindness is your thing, list your home as a toilet stop, offer to clean bogs that private businesses make available to the public, for free, of course.

Sorry, got that wrong there, you make perfect sense, GoodGrief.

It isnt some tangent. It happens frequently. The majority of toilets I have been in which are for paying customers only are far cleaner than ones which are open to anybody. With the possible exceptions of late night pub/club ones.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll "the next person to go in after her noticed that it was on fire"

You are going to have to be absolutely bursting beyond bursting not to notice that
(And if so, your desperation is probably quite helpful...)

There's some archaic old law about pregnant women being legally entitled to urinate wherever they want, but even if that is true, that doesn't mean they have to be allowed access anywhere. It just means they can piss on the pavement and not be arrested.

Yea I've done it a few times. Once was recommended by an officer when I asked him if he knew of any toilets. He told me if I couldn't make it, I could pee on the street.

Blokes can do it. I don't know if it's still there but last year on one of the side streets around Shoreditch, they had open urinals for the men to use. Just a bit of useless plastic between them and passerby's lol.

How did we get from a distressed and obviously pregnant member of the public asking to use the customer loo to an open for all, public lav in the cafe situation? I don't think anyone is suggesting that cafe loos should by some decree become public conveniences. But if an obviously pregnant woman or someone otherwise looking very needy (and not dragging along a hoard of druggy pals) begs to use the loo then I stand by my statement. It is appalling that the cafe would say no.

ffswhatnext kind of begs the question, what if a non pregnant person was caught short? What actually are people supposed to do? Now, I haven't as yet found myself in this situation but I know a fair few menopausal women who out of nowhere have a desperate requirement to pee. If there are no loos, I'm not sure what people expect them to do. Absorb the pee through osmosis?