When your gut feeling was spot on

[marriedwithhounds]

Feeling an intense mixture of emotions and hoping that others will relate in some way.

When I was little (maybe about 10?) I remember telling my mum that my great uncle had touched my bum when he had his arm around me. She said she was sure he hadn't meant to and not to worry - but not to hug him any more if I didn't feel comfortable. I never hugged him again after that and he never tried to hug me.

I always had a bad feeling about him. Fast forward 20 years and it's now confirmed that he is a pedophile with a penchant for young boys. My gut instinct was right about him.

AIBU to ask you for similar experiences? DSis thinks you can't trust gut instincts but I defo feel vindicated.

@Walnutwhipster
That's so strange about the blood test.

I worked in path lab 20years and A& E bloods had to be done within 2 hours.
It was a national criteria. The A & E dept would actually be in serious trouble if not.

There's been 2 incidences that come to mind...
About 20 years ago I was in the pub with my then boyfriend when he introduced me to a friend of his.
The friend seemed nice, funny, smart etc but something was just off, everyone else seemed to love him but I got a sense of foreboding.
Found out a year or so later that he was a serial killer and at the time I met him he'd already murdered a friend of mine.

Another time I bumped into an ex in a club, we had a nice time, my friend had met someone in the club and I was tempted to go home with the ex for old times sake but I once again got that foreboding feeling and snuck home in a taxi whilst he was in the club bathroom.
Later that night he and a friend lured a homeless gent to a secluded area and kicked him to death.
All these years later that one still plays on my mind, if I had gone home with him would I be the one who died or if I had gone home with him would that homeless guy still be alive?

Mine is utterly crap.

Most of the people I've taken an intial and instinctive dislike to are now among my best friends.

I put it down to being rubbish at snap judgements.

My Year 6 teacher. Universally hated by all the children, parents and staff (my parents both worked there and I'd known most of the other teachers since I was very small so it was no secret from me that all the adults hated him too). Parents tried to get their kids moved out of his class, our TA openly ignored him.

He was a supercilious, aggressive bully and an awful teacher but it wasn't just that- something about him gave me a sinking feeling. There was something horrible about the way he looked at you. I remember saying to my mum that something was wrong about him, and her saying that she knew I was right but without proof, nothing could be done.

They did encourage me to write down a log of the incidents of his bullying behaviour to me and the other children (always when no other adults were present), and passed them onto the SLT. I started refusing to go to school. In a meeting with the head, my parents and him to try and get me back in the classroom he tried to lie his way out of saying awful things about me but I stood my ground and told him he was lying. It was a scary thing to do at just 11 but I knew I was in the right, and the other adults believed me. He totally floundered and was forced to apologise. He went off sick not long after, and left a few months later.

A few years later, it got back to us that he had just been sent to prison for possession of images of child sexual abuse.

Hello. Just joined because of this thread!

I was at work when my sister phoned to say they'd had to call an ambulance for my mother who had collapsed, and to get there as soon as I could. I just knew my mother had already died (my sister didn't), and as I was 80 miles away, finished what I was doing; checked in with my manager and explained I would be away for several days; got childcare sorted for my young children and then drove to the hospital arriving about 3 hours later. My sister was furious with me (this was before she had a mobile phone) for not rushing straight away. But what good would that have done? I couldn't have got there before she died and I knew I would be staying down there with my sister so ... However, I don't really count this as gut feeling, as I was a nurse and know the statistics on heart attacks...

But I can't so readily explain when several years later my 80 yr old FiL (usually fit and healthy) had been admitted to hospital because he'd fainted, and seemed a bit confused. He was getting better and due to come home the following day. I asked my DH if he was going in to see his Dad and he replied no, why should he? He'd seen him a couple of days previously, and would see him at the weekend at home. I got so cross! I mean, really really cross and had a go at him, so much so that I guilt-tripped him into visiting there and then. When we arrived, FiL was sitting in a chair, sporting a very fine bleeding head wound and black eye (he'd fallen out of the chair). But he was conscious, and we three had a lovely chat before he was taken off for an x-ray. Basically he never came back. I knew it was bad when I heard a nursing assistant asking for his notes, but didn't say anything to DH. FiL was put on life support, but died a week later. I am forever grateful that I yelled at DH that night to go and visit his Dad so they had those last few moments together.

I wonder how many negative 'gut feelings' have been wrong though, we only remember the 'correct' ones. OH has a 'feeling' every time we fly and he might be right one day.
Having said that, after four years of driving round the country looking at houses we decided within five minutes about the one we're in now and never regretted it.

I woke up first thing in the morning and thought 'my cars been broken into' and yep... it had

Mine tillytrotter. I've looked at people and had the 'gut feeling' that they were stuck up and unapproachable. Didn't speak to them for weeks, while the feeling got stronger.

Two of them are now among my best friends. I'd been making blind snap judgements on the basis of nothing. I'd probably judged them subliminally for - I dunno, looking a bit vaguely like a girl at school who'd been nasty to me, or something.

As I said, my gut feelings are always rubbish.

I have a negative gut feeling about 2 different men.

They, for all intents and purposes haven’t done anything wrong and have lots of friends

But I just can’t shake the feeling. I have never told anyone about it and I wouldn’t. I just try to avoid them.

It is almost animalistic. Even if I am at a big event and I have my back to the door I have had the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and the most awful creepy, I am in danger I need to run feeling come over me and I know that one or both have arrived.

I have put a stop to meeting one of them and avoided the other for years but I am panicking because I know because of family circumstances they will be becoming part of
my life within the next year or 2 (even if I only have to meet up with them with family for a day or 2 per year)

I really don’t know if I can do it.

I knew I was having a boy when I was pregnant, no scan pictures or genetic tests, I just had the gut feeling.

The second time was after I’d separated from DH and he had met his soon-to-be wife, and I insisted on meeting her as she would be around DS a lot. I did my best to give her a fair chance, told myself I was jealous, but she just seemed too good to be true and of course in time I was proved right. It would be too outing to explain what happened, but it was horrendous for everyone.

I've had gut feelings, good and bad, which were pretty much all spot on.

The one time I wished I had a gut feeling, it failed me completely. Everyone who met him thought my eldest niece's boyfriend was the nicest person. We all thought she was really lucky to be with him... until my youngest niece plucked up the courage to tell her mother what he had been doing to her. None of us will ever forgive ourselves for not getting a gut feeling about that piece of scum.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Oh, tell a lie.

I had the 'feeling' when I was pregnant that my baby would be a brown eyed, left handed boy. And I was right.

With my second, I 'knew' it was a girl. Brown eyed again, I thought, and right handed. And I was right.

It all fell apart after that, with three four and five I hadn't a clue what they were!

Gut instinct is bullshit obviously, it's confirmation bias. Sometimes you'll be right, sometimes you'll be wrong, you'll remember the times you were right

The times you were right were not gut instinct they were you picking up on subtle clues you've learnt or observed, or quite likely, glaringly obvious red flags that you've finally caught onto

Caretaker at my school, made my skin crawl.
15yrs on he was sent to prison for child sex offences including on his own children.

It's not gut "instinct" - it's learned behaviour from your experiences.

@TheSandman I'm the same! I clearly remember thinking "wow, if I like him in that (hideous too-small t-shirt the exact colour of marrowfat peas) then there must be something there... That was twenty years and two sons ago

Confirmation bias, a bit of observation of body language and a very effective retrospectoscope. That’s all there is to it.

The times you were right were not gut instinct they were you picking up on subtle clues you've learnt or observed, or quite likely, glaringly obvious red flags that you've finally caught onto

That might be true in regards to people but what about situations where you have to make a choice and your gut is telling you to do one thing and on paper it is the worse possible decision.

I have had 2 times when I have had to decide which route I should take in life.

Both times my gut has told me to go the way on paper that looked like financial suicide.

The first time I followed my gut and it was the best thing I could have done.

The second time I had to consider that I had 2 tiny children to look after so chose the sensible route.

It was the worse decision of my life.

To this day I want to go back and change it.

The times you were right were not gut instinct they were you picking up on subtle clues you've learnt or observed, or quite likely, glaringly obvious red flags that you've finally caught onto

So what you're saying is that it's an unconscious recognition of subliminal clues that you couldn't rationalise or explain - probably even to yourself?

Sounds like a good working description of 'Gut Instinct' to me.

Always felt uneasy with a friend's DP. In fact, most people only put up with him as my friend is so lovely.

Friend's DP was involved in a voluntary capacity with children, similar to a Scout Leader, it always made me uncomfortable that he made such a big deal of safeguarding and how he wouldn't allow the children to touch him; making a big show of holding his hands up whenever a child went near him. However, he also disregarded safeguarding when it came to the older teenagers and would meet with them privately to discuss their issues or let them accompany him to another site without another adult member present. I made sure DC had nothing to do with him and kept him away from them.

Last year the police raided friend's house and arrested their DP for downloading indecent images. The seized computer equipment is still being investigated so we don't yet know the extent of his offending. My friend has swallowed the pathetic and completely unbelievable lie DP has come up with to explain it. I've encouraged friend to leave, explained how his excuse is ridiculous and just that, an excuse to avoid taking responsibility. I now rarely see my friend as I refuse to feel sorry for their DP.

He has been banned from the premises of the voluntary service by Head Office but the Group Leader is still friends with him. Needless to say, I don't believe the children currently attending are safe if the Group Leader deems it fit to still associate with friend's DP.

I'm glad that my DC were kept away from him. He tried too hard to be liked and to appear a safe person to be around but I never trusted him.

Sorry, that was a bit of a diversion.

The times you were right were not gut instinct they were you picking up on subtle clues you've learnt or observed, or quite likely, glaringly obvious red flags that you've finally caught onto

How would this equate to having to make a decision and your gut is telling you to do something that on paper is a really stupid decision but every fibre of your body is saying to do it.

NCd for this. On Saturday we went to town, we went to pay for our parking. Man appears behind us, very close, pulls out a wallet, starts talking about paying. Our local town centre gives a few hours free parking at the weekend, so I turned to him, already feeling like theres alarms going off inside of me, because hes sort of followed us from the machine, and positioned himself as close to DH as he could, which put him very close to 11 year old DD. I say, NO. You still have to put your chip in the machine. He replies "I have".
He puts his hand in his pocket and offers DD nuts. Shes feeling uncomfortable now too. And moves to the other side of me. I start to look around thinking where can I go. What can I do to get us away from him. As the lift came I thought we cant get in this lift. Theres no way we can get in the lift. We always park up on the highest floor which is the 5th and not many people park up that high we will be alone with him. I knew we needed to get away from him.

So I make an excuse at the very last moment. I say. Shit! I need to go to poundland. It cant wait. So DH backs out of the lift. And this bloke says ME TOO!!
He followed DH and all of a sudden this mans next to DD.
I veer over to where security is, and say very loudly, Can you stop following us? We dont know you. He replies with NO. Security was already watching him at this point and he runs toward a lift. Security followed him

So we wait for the next lift. Get back to our floor. Quite unsure of what had happened but glad he had been moved on, and certain that he wouldn't find us again, and why would he even want to?!

The ladies next to us were having an issue with their car. I said to DH we should really help. Or try to! Not 5 minutes later the man was back. Offering to help.
I went back down to security, and told them that he had tried to position himself as a helper to two ladies having car trouble- one of which also got a strange vibe off of him. Security informs me that hes been bothering women all day, trying to force food into their mouths and following them to their cars. I explained that's why I'd made a fuss of him following us around.
We arrive back on the 5th floor with security. He has tried to break into 5/6 cars were told. He realises we've returned and comes back, glaring at DD. I tell him to go away. Security moves him.
He comes back and demands an explanation.
He comes back again and says the security guard is deciding whether I will drive him home.
He comes back a final time and puts his arm out to touch DD.
Luckily at that point police arrived because security had called them.

There was something off from when he came upto us to start talking about parking.

DD said that her legs felt like cement when he was getting in the lift and she thought we were getting In. Dh got a feeling, but not the same as me or DD.

I'm sure I've read somewhere about the actual gut behaving almost like a second brain? I'm off to google

Apparently getting the creeps is a common thing when meeting psychopaths. Some kind of early-warning system
I saw it on House, so it must be true