When your gut feeling was spot on

[marriedwithhounds]

Feeling an intense mixture of emotions and hoping that others will relate in some way.

When I was little (maybe about 10?) I remember telling my mum that my great uncle had touched my bum when he had his arm around me. She said she was sure he hadn't meant to and not to worry - but not to hug him any more if I didn't feel comfortable. I never hugged him again after that and he never tried to hug me.

I always had a bad feeling about him. Fast forward 20 years and it's now confirmed that he is a pedophile with a penchant for young boys. My gut instinct was right about him.

AIBU to ask you for similar experiences? DSis thinks you can't trust gut instincts but I defo feel vindicated.

@ParkheadParadise
How awful
Im so sorry

Twice I've sought medical help for DS because I knew something wasn't right. Both times he was hospitalised. We've been in A&E etc loads, but these are the only two times I've felt this way - ready to fight anyone who didn't take me seriously (they did, fortunately).

Had a pupil whose behaviour was bad (so nothing unusual). When two girls complained about him I just knew it was serious. Turns out he had a criminal conviction, he was only year 7. Pretty sure he was a sociopath.

A nice one,

I knew dh was “the one” very early on. We just clicked. Got engaged after 6 months, (although took us a few more years to actually get married so no delusional lovey dovey rushing into it)

My brother asked me just after we got engaged “how do you know he’s the one”. I couldn’t really explain other than I just knew.

Next year we celebrate our silver anniversary, god that makes me feel old!!

I had a bad feeling about SIL’s new boyfriend from the moment they announced their relationship on FB, before I even met him. No one else shared my concerns and they got married after less than a year. DH fell out with her and I told him she’d need him sooner or later and I was right because he ended up knocking her out in public infront of their children. I think it was more being on Mumsnet long enough to recognise the red flags than gut instinct though.

When I was little, my uncle had a friend who seriously gave me the creeps. Everyone else loved him and I would be teased for not saying hello/giving him a hug etc. It was a totally physical reaction that I can remember even now.
Fast forward a couple of years...he was caught robbing my grandparents house.

@TheSandman

I had something similar too meeting my partner. I was out for lunch with my fiancé at the time and something drew me to him. I’ve never felt anything like it!

@LoonyLunaLoo what were the red flags? I have a friend who is going out with a guy...I just can't put my finger on it. I feel like if I could articulate what the problems are then maybe she might think again. How awful for your SIL though. Did she and your DH reconcile?

I have had a gut instinct a few times.

Usually about things I should do. On a couple of occasions it was completely against logical reason.

The first time I went with my instinct and it was the very best thing I did.

Years later I went against my instinct. Everything on paper said I should go down one route and it seemed foolish to go down an alternative way

Worse mistake I have ever made.

Wish I could go back and take the path unknown.

I told the pediatric respiratory therapist in hospital something definitely was wrong with my baby and I was told he just had a "BPD temper" he had underdeveloped lungs as a preemie therefore it was temper-I was asked to take a walk by my husband so I did only to return and his room empty-a chest X-ray revealed he had a collapsed lung due to RSV virus and was on a ventilator for 19 days in PICU after they discovered it

I have only ever had bad vibes from a person twice.

One was a friend of dps.

He is a pleasant person. But I get really bad vibes off him.

The other I have managed to avoid for years but he is always on the radar.

He creeps me out.

I can feel him even if he comes into the room and I have my back to the door.

Neither have ever done anything and to everyone else they are nice people but I cannot get over the creepiness

Two that spring to mind....like a pp, something wasn’t right with my baby, 4 times we were admitted to local hospital for days at a time, where he got worse and worse, eventually they convinced me I was just going mad and being precious and he was fine but in the pit of my stomach I just knew, routine HV appointment, took one look at him “no, get him to different a&e 50mins away NOW” - he had life saving, emergency surgery within 24 hours. So not only my instinct but HV too because in himself he appeared fine!

Second was took DP to pick up a new car, not a family practical car but a “toy” for him, ordinarily I’d have just let him go and knew he would probably drive like a bit of a nob (not ok, I realise!!) for whatever reason I begged him to take our baby back in the car with him and not the one we came in, within 10mins I had a serious crash all in view of partner driving in next lane. Was just so odd, the overwhelming feeling that made me not have the baby in my car

Thankfully my experiences with my gut instinct have all been quite tame.

The strangest one was with my ex when I was young. He owned a tattoo studio and I was sitting there waiting for him one day. A girl (not a woman!) walked in and walked straight back out without saying anything and I immediately knew he was sleeping with her. All sorts of weird people came into that shop and it was always busy so her walking out wasn't such a weird thing, but I was completely certain for some reason.

Found naked pictures of her in his email a couple of weeks later. Also knew another ex was cheating on me with someone specific under similar circumstances where they were both acting completely normal and I had no suspicions, but I knew anyway.

Several years ago DH and 3DC caught flu, I'd been vaccinated (also for swine flu.) DC1 was 20 at the time and usually in rude health. I felt an awful feeling of dread for him, despite everyone being poorly in bed.
I made an out of hours doctor's appointment and begged him to admit DS. He sent him to A&E where they took bloods but were very rude and condescending, including refusing to give him a bed in A&E while we waited. Two nurses during the night said it was pointless him being there it was 'only' flu. They clearly didn't rush the blood tests. Thirteen hours later all hell broke loose. His white blood count was completely wiped and his heart was failing. He had swine flu. The cardiac care unit were amazing but it's no exaggeration to say he wouldn't be here today without that gut feeling.

I have a few, but I do think many of us have fear based instincts that have developed for a reason.

I recently read for example, that a woman’s gut feeling of how dangerous her partner might be when separating in a DV situation was a better predictor than previous violence or any other major signs. And that police are advised then to ask women what danger they feel they are in and act accordingly.

I used to work as a wedding planner and during a planning appointment with one couple I had an overwhelmingly negative feeling about the groom. On the surface he was very charming and polite but for some reason he just gave me the absolute heebie-jeebies and I came away feeling sure that he was a bad guy. A few weeks later I met with the bride and she had a cast on her arm, she had apparently slipped on the ice, but I just instantly ‘knew’ he had done it to her. Another few weeks on and her sister called me to say they were cancelling the wedding as he had been abusing her and it had all come out. I cried as I felt so terrible for not saying anything, but it would have been purely based on a gut feeling and zero evidence. My mum is the same, she can sense when people are bad, she’ll say ‘there’s just something about him’.
On a happier note she can also sense when people are good - the day after I met my now DH, when we were 18, my mum met him (very briefly in passing) and said to my dad ‘he’s going to be someone very special in her life’. I had barely even spoken to him at this point and was in a relationship with someone else at the time, but 13 years and two DCs later, she was right!

When my son was a baby, I used to pat him to sleep and then sneak out of the room and shut the door behind me, with the hope that he'd settle for the night. I would never dream of re-opening that door as the sound of it would wake him and I'd have to do the whole re-settling process again.

One night when he was about 9 months old I did the usual routine, patted him for ages and he finally nodded off, he was lying on his back as he always did in his cot. I turned, walked out, shut the door behind me, but my gut instinct made me re-open the door and check on him. In the few seconds it had taken me to leave and shut the door he had vomitted, but because he was asleep and on his back, he was silently choking on the vomit. I grabbed him, flipped him over, slapped his back, a mass of vomit came flying out and he took a huge gasping breath.

I was shaking so much I just stood there for ages as he screamed and cried, before I kind of came to my senses, called DH in and we cleaned up the vomit. That night I slept on a mattress next to his cot.

That gut instinct to go back and check on him saved my son's life, I have no doubt about that. 11 years later I still think of just how glad I was that I listened to my gut that night.

Like others, I knew DH was the one for me one our first date. Iv never had a feeling like it before. The feeling was so strong. And I have to say that 26 years later I still know its right. He's the other half of me

We cut short a holiday as I was so sure a particular tree would fall on the property it was ruining the week anyway. It was all I thought about/dreamt about and I couldn’t bare it. My DH and family thought I was crackers. It fell 18 months later causing devastation to the home.

I had a gut feeling that father wasn't really my father.

Cue several years of detective work, bingo he's not my father.

Gut feeling of who really was my father, yes I got it right.

I've got a happier one.

When DH and I were flat hunting 9 years ago we viewed a flat on a really nice estate, we didn't like the flat but I just knew we'd be living on that estate. Cut to 2 years later he text me a link and I just knew the house was ours by just looking at the link.

Not sure if that is fit instinct writing it down, but I felt like I just knew...

Great I felt that when I viewed our current house....the viewing was open so there were loads of people milling around and I thought "Get out of my house!" it was weird! It's only a rental but I felt a strong connection to it and still do. Over 40 people applied to rent it but I knew it was mine when I walked in...the hairs on my neck literally stood up.

Hope to buy it one day.

The pp about the difference between gut instinct and anxiety was interesting.

I think that gut instinct can warn you that you need to be wary of somebody and that it can alert a parent when their child is seriously ill. There are lots of examples of this on this thread.

But there are also examples of worries being justified afterwards by coincidental events. I'd be surprised by the dead rabbit if the owner ONCE thought there was something wrong with it, went outside and found it dead. But if you have those worries every morning, it does reduce the impact of the anecdote. Similarly, dreaming that a large tree falls on a house and then it does so next morning would be noteworthy. But it happened EIGHTEEN MONTHS later.

I have a few examples:-

When we went to pick up a car from a garage it had further things which needed doing. I just knew this was a scam but my DH left the car with My Dodgy. It cost us another £600 odd but it turns out the company had gone bust and the man was trying it on.

Another was when a financial advisor came to give some free advice. He was charming and convincing but later research made me realise my gut instinct not to trust him would have lost us £thousands.

I always ‘knew’ there was something undefinably sinister about a cousin of my DH’s. It turns out that, almost certainly, he took horrible advantage of a young person who went to live with his family.

We went to buy a car on Saturday and there was something very ‘off’ about the salesman. I kept telling the DH this man was not right. He has taken our deposit but has done nothing he should have done. The car is not ordered, he hasn’t phoned as he promised, he is not in the showroom for work this week. It might all be down to massive incompetence but my gut instinct tells me this will not end well.

I learned early in life not to trust people so I do not know whether this has caused my rational scepticism radar to be very sensitive or whether I always had a gut instinct for sensing what others are really like. I once did a ‘can you read others’ expressions?’ test and got an exceptionally high score.

Mr Dodgy, not My Dodgy. Sorry.

I rushed my baby dd into A&E in the middle of the night just because she was crying strangely and it didn't seem right - her O2 sats were in the 70's and she was taken straight to resus....

(she had a double aortic arch, she had surgery to correct it and is fine now)