To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

I prefer to take my own food as it gives me peace of mind knowing exactly what's in it! Perhaps offer steamed veggies and a few vegan friendly party nibbles?

Alpro soya custard is rank. My DP loves soya milk and soya desserts, I think they are all rank.
I agree that the issue at Christmas is that you are trying to make a carnivore meal a vegan one. I eat vegan meals a lot, no issue. Vegan cakes can be lovely, but generally pre packaged vegan desserts are the cheaper desserts using cheaper ingredients to substitute for decent ones. I would not eat them, and I would not expect my guests to eat them at what is a special meal. Vegan ice cream can be nice, but it is hardly a special Christmas dessert.

I think people get irritated by vegans on these type of occasions because unlike nut allergies, it is a choice that inconveniences the cook. I am sure other people the OP is catering for might have their own peculiar preferences for the meal, but they don't demand the host caters for them.

I'm vegan and I'm always just happy to have the veggies, it's a choice you make and is obviously awkward so I'm sure they wouldn't mind! Bisto gravy (red one) is vegan so that would be an easy option! Most supermarkets also do individual free from Christmas puddings that are vegan and are cheap!

@Jizelle I prefer a lower smoke temperature when I roast.
Unrefined coconut oil smokes at 177C while olive oil holds out until 191C. My ‘vegans’ would class themselves as foodies and they like the extra flavour layer that coconut oil provides when cooking root veg.
Personally I like goose fat, but each to their own. (I do like the shelf life of coconut oil though)

I'm vegetarian, but I have dozens of easy vegan recipes, without nuts, that can be made on the hob (lentil stew/soup with veg is extremely easy - you can get tinned lentils for 35p). Can even be made a day in advance and then just reheated on the hob.

You wouldn't serve lentil stew to a visiting vegan for Christmas dinner though would you? Seems a bit basic. I adore lentil soup, it's the low budget winter lunch of the gods. But I wouldn't have thought the stew suitable for a festival day meal unless it was definitely the guest's favourite or something they had requested.

I have not RTFT

Perhaps you (and others) should. The OP has asked her friend and is getting sausages.

Sorry OP haven't trawled through all 14 pages, but there's quite a selection in the M&S Christmas vegan ready meals - not only nut roast - and a chocolately dessert. If you are buying ready meals anyway from M&S, why not get a couple of bits for the vegan? If you are worried that there may be nut traces, then warn off the nut allergy person from those meals.

I am a veggie and quite happy to just eat vegetables with veggie gravy (which I always bring in a flask because hosts often forget). But it is nice for a guest to see that you have made an effort.

Sorry OP haven't trawled through all 14 pages, but there's quite a selection in the M&S Christmas vegan ready meals

Did you really think nobody would have suggested that in the 14 pages you didn’t read?

I would just make the whole meal vegan and nut free and make the meat the 'add on extra'. Since you are buying it all anyway it will be easy to do.

I’m vegan and would be totally fine with this. I offer every time i go to someone’s house anyway

I think people get irritated by vegans on these type of occasions because unlike nut allergies, it is a choice that inconveniences the cook. I am sure other people the OP is catering for might have their own peculiar preferences for the meal, but they don't demand the host caters for them.

^I agree.

YABU to ask them to bring their own but YWNBU to ask them to find out what microwave meal would be suitable for them and then you can buy it and prepare it for them.

YABU to ask them to bring their own but YWNBU to ask them to find out what microwave meal would be suitable for them and then you can buy it and prepare it for them.

How do you “prepare” a microwave meal? Do you mean stab the film with a knife a few times?

TBH if someone was giving me a microwave meal for Christmas lunch, I’d be politely making excuses.

My guest is vegan not because they object to animal cruelty but because they are on a bit of a detox and purging meat and dairy from their diet.

I would have said YABU as I think being vegan should be respected - one of my family members is a very passionate vegan and doesn’t use any animal products in cosmetics, clothes or anything like that either, wouldn’t visit a zoo etc. I don’t have much respect for health fad vegans though and I don’t see why you should accommodate that - I cant help but think this guest would still gulp down non vegan wine, wear leather shoes and use non vegan moisturisers. I wouldn’t have time or patience for that kind of person.

TBH if someone was giving me a microwave meal for Christmas lunch, I’d be politely making excuses.

So would I, it's hardly a decent xmas meal.

Buy gorgeous non vegan wine that she cannot drink.

Buy gorgeous non vegan wine that she cannot drink.

Why? What has this guest done that the op needs to be arsey?

I just found it unbelievable the entitlement of some people, you can expect a vegan to prepare a vegan meal if they invite you for dinner but expect someone, who knows little of the diet to learn to cook a vegan meal with unfamiliar ingredients just because you wouldn’t eat what is being served is ridiculous.

If you don’t want to eat what is served, bring your own. It is an invitation for lunch, not a choose a la carter before arrival restaurant.

Because she is making OPs life harder by being vegan to detox. This is not someone who is a vegan for many years with strong principles.

She’s not doing it to piss off the op!

I just found it unbelievable the entitlement of some people, you can expect a vegan to prepare a vegan meal if they invite you for dinner but expect someone, who knows little of the diet to learn to cook a vegan meal with unfamiliar ingredients just because you wouldn’t eat what is being served is ridiculous.

No. All the op needs to do is take separate portions of the same veg before any butter is put on them and buy something easy to put in the oven. Nobody is suggesting she has to cook something gourmet from scratch.

So many of these recipe suggestions sound amazing! But let's get one thing straight - I am not cooking from scratch! I can,!8 just want to have an easy day as possible on Christmas Day

Why does everything have to come from M&S?

Because it's tasty, decent quality and is the nearest supermarket to my house

I would just make the whole meal vegan and nut free and make the meat the 'add on extra'. Since you are buying it all anyway it will be easy to do

Pardon my stupidity, but this wouldn't be a vegan meal would it if it included meat?

Re wine all I've asked of guests is to BTOB (I have some booze put by too) so I'd expect my vegan to cater for themselves that way

Pardon my stupidity, but this wouldn't be a vegan meal would it if it included meat?
I think they just mean do everything vegan apart from the meat.

I think they just mean do everything vegan apart from the meat

They'll have to prize (spelling?!) the goose fat out my cold, dead hands!

You want “prise” there (just because you asked, I’m not being an arse!).

I never really liked goose fat roasted back when I ate meat. I think I might be the only one though!