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AIBU?

To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

648 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 18/11/2019 13:09

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

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MonstranceClock · 18/11/2019 13:10

I would. It’s a pain. My daughter had allergies and I always just bring her own food.

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cuddlymunchkin · 18/11/2019 13:10

That's what I would do, I can't see what complaints they could have about that really.

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Winterdaysarehere · 18/11/2019 13:11

Yanbu to suggest they cater for themselves imo.
You have 9 others to organise.
If it's a fad they may be carnivorous by 25/12 anyway!!

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dustyphoenix · 18/11/2019 13:12

If you're buying pre--prepared anyway, I don't know why you can't just add that to your food shop - make it microwaveable if you're concerned about oven space. I understand not wanting to make something from scratch if that's what you're doing for everyone else, but if you're buying in anyway then it seems a bit churlish exclude just one guest, especially when there's no shortage of pre- prepared vegan options in the shops.

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Lockheart · 18/11/2019 13:13

If you're not going to have the space in your oven I think it's reasonable. Plus, depending on how strict a vegan they are, they might not want their food in the oven at the same time as non-vegan food.

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pugparty · 18/11/2019 13:13

You're already serving two kinds of meat for people's choices and avoiding nuts in order to be a good host, how can adding a vegan option be that much harder? Either cater to your guests needs or don't bother.

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charm8ed · 18/11/2019 13:14

YANBU

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Alsohuman · 18/11/2019 13:15

Welcome to my world - one vegan, one vegetarian, one gluten intolerant and neither the vegan nor vegetarian eat mushrooms! I’ve ordered a vegan main and veggie gravy from M&S and sourced a vegan Christmas pudding - a surprising number are.

It’s not buying the stuff that’s the faff, it’s all the extra cooking on a day when the oven’s too small anyway.

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misspiggy19 · 18/11/2019 13:15

YANBU- I would do the same

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WorraLiberty · 18/11/2019 13:16

You're not really cooking dinner anyway if you're just slamming pre-prepared stuff in the oven.

Why not buy something you can pop in the microwave?

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Emeraldshamrock · 18/11/2019 13:16

It seems cheeky. Though I would ask if your friend is a strict OTT vegan.
I have one friend who would need a breakdown of any possible cross contamination in the oven.
My Dsis is a vegan she would be happy to eat the potatoes and veg for dinner.

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GunpowderGelatine · 18/11/2019 13:16

@dustyphoenix I don't have a microwave and the problem is M&S vegan options seem to all consist of nuts, which is why I'd prefer to save the bother of finding something and just ask them to bring whatever they now eat as long as it's nut-free

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Turniptracker · 18/11/2019 13:18

Yabu, go to aldi and buy them something. It will make a world of difference if you make that small effort to make someone feel included. I'm not a vegan but I am gluten free and I got sick to death in the early days of people complaining about my diet needs and making me feel bad (wasn't a lifestyle choice it was a medical need!!) but wouldn't bat an eyelid if they needed to provide a vegetarian option. Just be nice, it's not that difficult to accommodate these days.

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GunpowderGelatine · 18/11/2019 13:18

My guest is vegan not because they object to animal cruelty but because they are on a bit of a detox and purging meat and dairy from their diet. So stuff in the same oven would be fine! I think

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charm8ed · 18/11/2019 13:19

Slightly different subject- Last year Asda’s mince pies were vegan and delicious so you could check those out.

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WorraLiberty · 18/11/2019 13:19

I don't have a microwave and the problem is M&S vegan options seem to all consist of nuts, which is why I'd prefer to save the bother of finding something and just ask them to bring whatever they now eat as long as it's nut-free

If they can find something nut-free then so can you.

Why not ask them what you can get for them?

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CandlesAreHere · 18/11/2019 13:20

YANBU. Pain in the arse.

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Mooserp · 18/11/2019 13:20

You could just get a vegan meat substitute - a Quorn escalope or the one of those really meaty looking ones. They can still have the veg and potatoes (assuming you don't use animal fat)

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SmallPinkBear · 18/11/2019 13:20

Whilst I would tell them to bring their own I don’t think this one has nuts in it and you could just collect it at the same time

To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?
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Mrsjayy · 18/11/2019 13:21

Ask your vegan guest what tgey would like and but it from M&S

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getyourgrooveback · 18/11/2019 13:22

As a Pp said, you're hardly cooking by just bunging it all in the oven so just get an extra vegan pre-prepared main and add it in there. It's nice if you're being hosted that the host actually makes an effort for you.
You could maybe ask if they bring their own dessert but please make a small effort for them at least.

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Alsohuman · 18/11/2019 13:22

A lot of mince pies are vegan. I’ve been searching out vegan options for ten years now and am finding it so much easier these days.

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Emeraldshamrock · 18/11/2019 13:24

My guest is vegan not because they object to animal cruelty but because they are on a bit of a detox and purging meat and dairy from their diet
Similar to my Dsis.
She has an autoimmune disease it is healthier.
In that case offer potatoes veg vegan gravy, pick up some quorn.
I don't think it is a huge deal if they are invited for Christmas dinner afterall.

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Mrsjayy · 18/11/2019 13:26

Excuse my typosBlush

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Crunched · 18/11/2019 13:26

I’m hosting 13, 2 vegan and a nut allergy. My vegans will have the veg, I’m doing some roasties in coconut oil for them and stuffing a couple of peppers between now and then, which I will stick in the freezer and re-heat on the day. M&S sell a great vegan ready made, long life gravy (already bought).
The vegans are bringing a pudding option apparently that I will offer as a choice to all.
I tend to do a platter of starter options, of which a couple will be vegan in any case.
I don’t find it a big deal and want everyone to feel welcomed on Christmas Day.

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