To ask why people find me strange?

[IAmCabbageDear]

No question that they do, I see it in their faces all the time (I work with the public every day)

I'm not attractive but I am polite and kind, very empathetic.. does that make me strange?

Honestly don't worry. I'm so strange that some actually stopped and asked me if I'm ok ? I was walking down the street pretending to be thomas the tank with my son all day so really hope that's the reason😂

Have you ever done a Myers Briggs personality test OP? I did, and it was an absolute revelation. I got INFP which is relatively rare (3 % of the population I think?) - got some books out on it and it was like a light going on because one of our key problems is being misunderstood and feeling like most people don't 'get' us as well meaning as we generally are.

So i would say it's probably not you, it's just you're a rare personality type - which nobody can really have. And if you're anythinf like me you might come to realise that the positives of your 'type' far outweigh the negatives.

nobody can really help*

another one here diagnosed autistic in forties- your experience sounds like mine but obviously not diagnosing you here. People think I'm being humorous when I'm not; people who don't know me often look at me askance when I speak. I tend to use overly precise language Plus I find social interaction exhausting, as you say, playing a role, I imagine this would be particularly draining in a public-facing job.

I have done the Myers Briggs.. I either came out as INFJ or INFP.. A rare one anyway (not that that means anything).

I thought a lot about what everyone said while at work today and will continue to do so.

See? I knew it! I've also come out as INFJ previously but apparently it's typical INFP behaviour to appear undecided between the two. Seriously, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it as not meaning anything - it's a starting point for you to understand how you tick, how you come across and why you do what you do. It's not set in stone but it is useful imo. I used to think "why am i so weird?" and now i just think "I'm different from most people but statistically there must be millions of us worldwide so I'm not that strange". It's also prompted me to write a novel and regain my love of writing. I'm 55,000 words in as we speak.

It's worth asking a trusted colleague for feedback. It's hard working with the public and I recognise that exhaustion from 'wearing a mask' all day. I don't feel I get funny looks but I am introverted and it takes it out of me. I'm an INFP by the way too!

Well, if it makes sense and seems accurate what harm can it do?

If i was in an industry charging £100 an hour for hit-or-miss therapy (a lot of which is still based on that old pseud Freud anyway) I'd have a vested interest in not wanting people to be able to obtain accurate self knowledge through a simple test too.

Just continue being you and be happy with it. If others are too boring and narrow minded to appreciate you that’s their lookout

Quite.

And they say the results are non-replicable

OP, have you video'd yourself to try and see yourself as others see you?

Set up a mock work scene, sit, speak and act the same way as you do for say three clients/customers, one nice, one awkward and one vile, then play it back and watch and listen how you appear.