To not want to contribute to trainees' meals.

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

I do realise it's petty, but have had a bad day, so thought may as well vent somewhere.

My company usually gets a couple of trainees every year for a couple of months- we have some sort of agreement with universities who send us students who need to do a placement as a part of their degree, or who just look for work experience. These are paid, not sure about the amount, definitely not anything like a regular salary, but they also get limited responsibilities and workload as most work PT. Usually they are young-ish people in the last year of their degrees. They are then attached to one or possibly two, occcasionally three teams, depending on what they need for their course.

Every year we go for a Christmas meal with my office. Some time ago one of my colleagues proposed we chip in to cover for the meal(s) of trainee(s) if any are placed on our team, and of course they get invited to come to the dinner and it became a bit of a tradition. It's never been an issue as they have been some really nice, helpful people and not earning much, so no one objected.

This year we have two trainees. They are both mature students, and both a lot better off than anyone on the team really except maybe for the team leader. Both are doing the degree because they seemed bored with their previous jobs, which in itself is not an issue, and both have high earning husbands. We're a bit strapped for cash at home at the moment, and I don't really want to pay for a meal for someone who, well, does not really struggle financially unlike some of our previous trainees. Plus, they are not actually really nice, don't want to get in a lot of detail but again, don't really feel like paying for a meal for someone who has been unpleasant and patronising. I feel I probably should mention it to our team lead who organised this years meal, not to look awkward on the day, although it's probably going to be awkward anyways as she seems to get on pretty well with them :/

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

@8Iris8- the meal will be more expensive if people drop out as they will have to pay a bigger contribution for the trainees. The remaining team would be the team lead, two trainees and 2-3 people.

[havingtochangeusernameagain]

Just say you can't afford to pay more than your own share this year. It's not for your employer to tell you how to spend your salary.

[Greencustard]

Now to add insult to injury you don’t want to treat them like other interns because they’re 40something women

Where are you getting that from? I don't think you've read the full thread

They are both mature students, and both a lot better off than anyone on the team really except maybe for the team leader

Plus, they are not actually really nice, don't want to get in a lot of detail but again, don't really feel like paying for a meal for someone who has been unpleasant and patronising

OP I wouldn't be buying anyone who has been rude/unpleasant to me, a meal. I wouldn't care if they were well off or poor, they'd get nothing from me.

[OneDay10]

You clearly cant stand these two so you are using the excuse of finances to get out of it when you have done so for 7 years.
I honestly think you would be very spiteful to change things this year.
Next year, no problem bring it up in advance and change this arrangement.
but to do so now would honestly make you look awful and as you said it would bump up the cost for the remaining team which in turn might put them in a difficult financial position as well.

Just go with it this year and then make it clear well before the event that you think things should change.

[KatherineJaneway]

I wouldn't want to contribute either. Firstly, they can easily cover their own costs, secondly I wouldn't pay for people I don't like.

If I were you I’d give this year a miss, who wants to go out for a nice lunch with unpleasant people.

[dinosaurusrun]

If not many people turn up you run the risk of paying far more than £20. I totally agree with you and I’d be pissed off at having to contribute to their meal in these circumstances, but in fear of looking petty/tight I’d just not go this year. Plus will it really be that great of a night out if they’re rude and generally unpleasant? I’d pass this years do with an excuse and just make sure I try and go next year!

[Pantouflette]

@IamtheDevilsAvocado
You've got it in a nutshell.

[Sunshine1235]

To be honest as much as I completely understand your point I think for the sake of £20 or so I would just pay. By not paying you’re risking your reputation (especially as you say your manager doesn’t seem to see the problem and its a small team). It might not be fair but is it worth being seen as vindictive, tight, bitter etc for this? I’m not saying you are those things but it could easily come across like that so I don’t think I would risk it as who knows how perceptions like that could affect your career

[eBooksAreBooks]

If it's not the whole team that goes and only a couple of you, what's to stop you cancelling the work do and rearranging it as a private meal without the interns?

Either it's a team do, everyone goes and you carry on with the tradition of everyone subbing the interns or it's not a team thing at all and it gets cancelled.

[EleanorReally]

yabu, i dont think you can move the goalposts this year

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

@OneDay10 - I am not looking for excuses, as I said it's a combination of factors. Them being unpleasant is the most deciding factor, and not really applying themselves to a work they signed up for, but feel they are overqualified for (which they are not, plus we have a few people who stepped down from leadership positions elsewhere and took a salary cut to retrain, so they are not the only ones who came from higher earnings and would have to start at the bottom). Woudl you be willing to fund a meal for someone who looks down on you? Maybe you would, I don't know.
The fact they don't struggle financially is just another thing that made me even less keen to contribute.
@Sunshine1235 At my current situation £20 in the runup to Xmas is actually significant. I am leaning to just not going altogether, as even without the contribution the actual meal is still expensive. It's something I factored in my finances and happy to treat myself, but paying more will make the budget tight, and covering for people I am not that fond of is a different thing.

[Billben]

I wouldn’t be contributing to anybody’s meal, young or old, even if I could afford it. If the company wants to treat them, let them pay but I don’t go to work to subsidise others at a work do.

[MeTheCoolOne]

Why can't you ask your colleagues what they think?

[Bluntness100]

Personally I'd not have an issue here, and if I was your manager I'd feel you were being twattish, but I'm not you, so all you can do is tell your manager you don't want to contribute because you don't like them and feel they have more money than you.

Let us all know how that goes for you.

[Gobbolino7825]

I would just say you're really sorry but can't afford to come this year, that you could afford to pay for yourself just, but not cover anyone else's meal.

Then the ball is in the rest of the team's court regarding making a decision about whether to stop the covering if interns meals. They might all be thinking the same thing, and be relieved it can come to an end!

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

@eBooksAreBooks - the 'team' is a couple of us, so 5-6 people,, there are multiple teams in the company, each doing something on their own, or nothing at all. Since we work in the same space and go straight after work, not inviting the interns would not even be an option as they are bound to know we are going out.

@EleanorReally out of curiosity why? The interns do not know their meal would usually be paid for. They don't know previou years' interns, they got an email with the date, place and the menu and question if they want to come. The payment is usually sorted after the actual meal. The meal is in a couple of weeks time anyway.

[Billben]

Op, if I was you, I would tell the others that I won’t be going to the Christmas meal as money is tight right now. You might have been looking forward to that meal but if they guilt you into paying for the trainees you won’t enjoy it anyway. Maybe this will be the start of putting a stop to this stupid tradition.

[Babdoc]

I'd ask your manager for a pay rise! And explain that your current salary is so meagre, you can't afford to subsidise a couple of rich bitches' lunches. And that you won't attend the meal unless you can just pay for your own.

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

@Bluntness100 Why would I tell my manager that?
I could just tell what is closer to the truth, that I can't afford the meal and that I'm pulling out altogether. There is at least one other person for whom it would be a financial burden to pay for the meal and additional contribution, but if they think we are petty, so be it.

[elliemcx]

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

[Billben]

Personally I'd not have an issue here, and if I was your manager I'd feel you were being twattish,

Do you really think somebody is a twat just because they can’t afford to contribute to somebody else’s meal? If anybody should be paying for these intern’s meal, it’s the company. So the twat here, is the manager, not the staff.

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

@MeTheCoolOne At least one other person as I said is in the same boat as me financially, so not very keen on going because of the cost. I'd rather just speak to the manager and explain my situation than talk to other people on the team. If people ask why I pulled out, I will tell, but we usually do not talk about money.

[EleanorReally]

They may well find out the meals are normally paid for,but if you are sure they wont find out, or you can think of a good excuse why not, fair enough, ie they are mature students

[OneDay10]

I do actually agree that you shouldnt have to pay for people who arent good to you, BUT I think in just this instance you are going to only come across as spiteful. I'm certain that your dislike of them is known in the team so it's going to make you look bad. I would honestly just let this one go but next year pull out of this arrangement.