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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not ok to get pissed whilst hosting a sleepover

53 replies

Jumanji89 · 16/11/2019 23:04

Last night my DS 10 was at a sleepover at his best friends. We know the parents pretty well so had no concerns. His friends sister (7) also had a friend over so all seemed normal. This morning we went to pick up ds and it looked like there had been a party and a lot of empty alcohol containers. I asked whether there had been a party and they said they had a few friends over and were absolutely hanging. When we got home my ds confirmed the parents had got drunk despite having my ds and their dds friend over and that in the middle of the night both had been throwing up. I'm absolutely furious and don't know whether I should confront them and/or tell the other child parents as well or if I'm making too big a deal about it. Personally I wouldn't dream of consuming alcohol when responsible for other people's children and feel that they should have been more responsible. If there was an accident or emergency they were in no fit state to deal with it.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 16/11/2019 23:07

I’d be fuming too. I wouldn’t mind if they had a glass of wine or two but go get themselves into that state is terrible.

Not much you can do about it now though other than maybe say your piece and not let your dc stay there again.

FriedasCarLoad · 16/11/2019 23:08

I’d approach it gently in case there’s been a misunderstanding. But definitely find out. If that’s the case it’s very irresponsible.

Notcontent · 16/11/2019 23:08

I probably wouldn’t say anything but I would not let my child stay there overnight again.

worriedmumtoteen · 16/11/2019 23:09

Drinking alcohol is fine when you have your own dc or others over. But drinking so much that you throw up? Not so normal. Do they have alcohol problems?

I’d host the next sleepover. Wouldn’t be keen on dc staying with them again.

Nikki360 · 16/11/2019 23:10

I would be furious and I wouldn't allow my daughter to go back. As for confronting them I'm not sure. I just know my child wouldn't be going back overnight.

pigeononthegate · 16/11/2019 23:10

I was prepared for you to be pompously bosom-hoiking over a few beers with teenagers upstairs

To be hammered to the point of vomiting with ten year old children in the house is absolutely atrocious. I'd be furious. And worried for their kids.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/11/2019 23:10

There’s no misunderstanding if the people themselves said they were hanging. Tbh I’d probably bitch to the other parents

Lunafortheloveogod · 16/11/2019 23:11

Christ I wouldn’t say it’s even ok for both of them to be completely plastered to the point of vomiting with just their own kids. I wouldn’t be sending him back for another sleep over with them, one nights hardly a big deal for one of them to be sober.

MamaWeasel · 16/11/2019 23:12

Yanbu. As pp said, a drink is fine, being drunk to the point of vomiting is irresponsible.

AuditAngel · 16/11/2019 23:14

I was expecting to say YABU, I have a couple of glasses, even if the kids have a friend over, but not more, When my niece, who has medical issues stayed, I had exactly one glass in case I needed to drive her home/the hospital

Scribblescribbles · 16/11/2019 23:16

They might play it down if you mention it to other parents. I'd just not let your dc stay there again and just be aware that they're not reliable.

Ravenrob · 16/11/2019 23:17

Totally unacceptable. One or two drinks is ok but I wouldn't get drunk and definitely not drunk enough to be vomiting.

holidays987 · 16/11/2019 23:19

As the parent of the other child (who I think you said is only 7), I would want to be told about this. So I knew not to send my child there for another sleepover.

I'm not saying they shouldn't have had a couple of drinks, but to be throwing up wasted is too much. I'm not sure if I'd have the courage to have a conversation with the mother about it, but there's no reason you shouldn't. She has been U.

Original poster
Jumanji89 · 16/11/2019 23:19

Absolutely no chance he will be staying again. Yeah they were laughing about the fact that they were hanging as if it was absolutely fine. If they had told me beforehand they were having friends over and planning to get drunk there is no way that I would have let ds stay over. My ds mentioned the throwing up as he thought it was funny.

OP posts:
Wheredidigowrongggggg · 16/11/2019 23:19

Oh good god stand down people! We’ve had sleepovers on nights where we’ve had friends round too and had lots to drink. What’s the issue? The children are in bed. Then we are in bed. No one is incapable of responding to an emergency. And a fit and healthy child is unlikely to need a&e mid sleep a propos of nothing. Ffs, what ridiculousness. I don’t know anyone in real life who would think this crazy way. Mumsnet is sometimes truly mental.

Cohle · 16/11/2019 23:20

Totally unacceptable. A couple of glasses of wine with dinner I wouldn't blink at, but getting vomiting drunk (without even letting you know they'd be hosting a party) would be unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.

thepeopleversuswork · 16/11/2019 23:22

Yeah I like a drink and am pretty relaxed about this sort of thing but I think drinking until you vomit is not a good look. The fact the kids noticed it suggests how bad it was.

LazyDaisey · 16/11/2019 23:24

“I don’t know anyone in real life who would think this crazy way.”

All that means is you like to get drunk and your friends do too. It doesn’t mean it’s a perfectly normal thing. Fuck sake, it’s been at least 10 years if not 20 since I drank so much I vomited.

LolaSmiles · 16/11/2019 23:25

Not acceptable at all.
I was ready to read a pearl clutchy thread where someone was mortified about a couple having a bottle or wine on an evening, but getting drunk to the point of vomiting is really out of order and irresponsible

NoFun21 · 16/11/2019 23:28

Not ok.

nervousfirsttimer1985 · 16/11/2019 23:28

No way is this acceptable. If one of them wasnt drinking fair enough. To be honest if I was hosting a sleepover I won't have one drink. You never know if an emergency might happen. Most likely wouldn't but why run the risk, especially when you are taking on the responsibility of other children.

Original poster
Jumanji89 · 16/11/2019 23:29

Wheredidigowrongggggg

I disagree. A few drinks with friends I have no issue with in the slightest. The fact that they were drunk and being sick is my issue and my ds and his friend were certainly not asleep when this was happening.

OP posts:
ELM8 · 16/11/2019 23:30

Yeah drunk to the point of vomming is incredibly irresponsible when in charge of your own children, never mind others.

RedLipstickHighHeels · 16/11/2019 23:30

I was expecting a tutty post about some wine, expecting an overreaction

However drinking to point of vomiting sure I’d be apoplectic
I wouldn’t confront them,they probably think they’re cool/hip/relaxed
You’ll not change their mind so don’t engage in a row.dont let your ds sleepover again

WutheringFrights · 16/11/2019 23:31

And a fit and healthy child is unlikely to need a&e mid sleep a propos of nothing

Utter utter bollocks!

My DD was an absolutely fit and absolutely healthy child ... until she wasn’t, one minute she was having breakfast the next she had a massive epileptic seizure.

She had barely even suffered from colds in the previous 8 years.

Sudden and unexpected shit happens!

I can’t believe that the parents think that this ok. I would tell them exactly how I felt.