To ask people not to just walk on by?

[aibutohavethisusername]

I had a fall earlier, tripped over a loose paving slab and hurt my ankle and wrist. My pride was the most damaged thing. I’m fine now.

People around me just carried on walking or stares at me. Nobody checked to see if I was OK.

It makes me sad to think that the world we live in is so uncaring nowadays.

Ouch, poor you I slipped in the supermarket once and landed on my elbow and bum, it was embarrassing, but boy did it hurt at the time. I think sometimes people are afraid of embarrassing you more if it doesn't 'look' too bad.

I was really helped a while ago, an elderly lady started to collapse at the bus stop when it was just me and her and I was struggling to hold her up when 2 separate women stopped their cars to help us and got her into a car and called an ambulance. Don't know what we would have done without them!

I don’t deny sometimes people are just shit but there is a recognised phenomenon whereby the more people there are around the less likely it is anyone will help. It’s called the bystander effect aka someone else will help in a minute.

Have you ever been the first one to help someone then then it seems to prompt others into stepping forward to help too? On a smaller scale partners who only start cleaning when they see you already doing it...

Hope your ok now OP

reminds me of what happened to a friend when we were in our late teens.She was on her moped the engine suddenly cut out on a busy roundabout and she got knocked off.She woke up dazed on the verge and everyone was just carrying on like nothing her happened.

Some people are so busy with their own lives they dont see

I tripped over in a car park in the summer and went flying. I hurt my ribs, hand and my chin ( the bruise was enormous) and two middle aged men rushed over to help and two teenagers on bike also came over to help. I admit I am in the older age group - 67 - but I felt that there are some good people in the world.

I also felt a right idiot for having fallen over.

I’m so sorry but TheQueef’s story made me cry with laughter even though I know the OP has a very serious point.

I don’t know how people can just walk on by. I never have, if I see someone on the ground, falling or bleeding I would always check if they needed help. Most of the time when I’ve fallen (I’m super clumsy) people have checked on me.

There was one time I fell badly at a beer festival, wasn’t even drunk, two people rushed over and asked if I was ok, I was so embarrassed I said “I’M FINE THANK YOU THOUGH!” then when they’d gone and I tried to get up I realised I wasn’t fine.

A woman did go and find my husband for me, but apparently he said she was really rude to him when she found him, as if he should have psychically known I’d hurt myself in a completely different part of the marquee.

This does seem to be a matter of sheer luck. I fell when running for the bus, and I was so winded I could do nothing but lie there gasping like a stranded fish. Although it was around 8 p.m., four or five people gathered round, rescued my belongings, helped me up, and were terribly keen on calling an ambulance, helping me back home, whatever I wanted. They were so lovely, and I felt such a total idiot.

I slipped over and I was mortified by how many Lovely people came over to help!

I fell over in the tube as it braked hard (my dc say they are so pleased they weren’t there as they’d have died of embarrassment!).
Everyone in the carriage came to my aid - young, old; residents, tourists; male, female.
I was ok but a bit shaken. People picked me up, offered me water, offered to get me help at the next stop, offered to come with me and find a taxi to take me home.
I wish I could magicked a bottle of champagne (or similar luxury) for all of them with grateful thanks.

Interesting how many of these posts involve the tube.....I wonder if it's more of an issue in large cities? I live in N Ireland and really can't imagine anyone falling in public here in a busy place and no one even asking if they're ok. I've witnessed it (and experienced it first hand!) - people will always stop here.

I find people in my city will go straight to help someone if they've had an fall and the other day I was one of several people who stepped in to comfort a Big Issue seller who was in tears after being spat on by some drunk bastards. In general I think we are a caring country.

@TheQueef Sorry but you had me howling, it's the way you told it!

I came off my bike miles from home, broke a few bones, lots of cuts etc. No one helped and I had to push my bike miles home as I couldn't get the chain back on as my right hand wouldn't work for fractures!

I don't. My DM took a mild heart attack after getting off the bus in the city.
People walked by her,
I watched Manchester A&E the doctor was stabbed after his shift, he lay bleeding on a busy street.
I do tell my Dneices to pass violence but phone the Garda.
I passed a man been robbed once at knifepoint, I ran into the city street shouting a Taxi driver drove his car up to them, beeping etc they took off, though looking back it was a scary thing to do.

I got shouted at by multiple people on a train recently when I stopped it at a station because I’d come across a passenger that I genuinely think was dead. Even the platform staff grumbled at me for holding up the train. Apparently the whole thing was my fault. I don’t know how it worked out for him but an ambulance turned up pretty quickly.

He was collapsed in the gangway and I had seen several people step over him to walk further up the train. He was quite young, probably 21 at the most - I shut them up by suggesting they think of his mother getting that call from the police or hospital. At worst he was dead, at best he was seriously ill.

When I was recounting the story to people I was shocked at the number of similar incidents they had witnessed, including one of my colleagues who had been trampled on the tube while she was heavily pregnant after she fainted.

I was out one night and we found a man flat on his back on the pavement. Assume the cold air had got him after a few drinks. Checked his pockets and found a card for a small hotel. Picked him up and walked him there, handed him over. It was a busy road, lots of cars. Couldn't leave him there to be robbed.

Sorry you fell OP, that's rubbish. I have an invisible illness that causes fainting and a whole host of other symptoms that make it difficult to navigate life outside the house when they strike. Nobody ever offers me a seat when I am crumpled on the floor, assists me when I'm stumbling, asks if I am ok or need help. Mostly customer services operatives just sneer at me when I ask if they can help me get my card out of my purse (I have difficulty using my hands), then change their tune entirely when I have to add 'sorry, I have a disability' .People make passive aggressive comments as they go past about alcoholics and young people and what a state I am if I am staggering or slurring, or if I am unfortunate enough to be sick in a public toilet etc. You can't really win.

Really wish people would apply a universally inclusive approach to caring for others but it rarely happens and seems that they use it as opportunity to judge who is worthwhile and in what circumstances. I hope you aren't too sore

My mam fell last week and three workmen left their lunches to come over and help her up. I think you've just been really unlucky sorry ☹️

@TheQueef I'm crying with laughter now.

I fell in the middle of town, more of a flying trip, stagger, kerflump! DH and Ds2 were too busy killing themselves with laughter to help and an old man helped me up. Another tine I went flying on the ice and loads of cars just rubbernecked. Again an old man helped me up.

Mind you, I thought I was going to die last week. Went to the shed to get coal, on the way back slipped on the decking. Coal showered down on me and I was so badly winded that I lay there in the rain and leaf sludge for 30 minutes. No phone, DH away and could not move for pain. I actually thought this is how I die! Still sore now

I've had a couple of experiences of fallng over in the street over the last few years (I have osteo and rheumatoid arthritis so my balance is not the best). The first time I fell was in a fairly quiet street,hardly anyone around. I couldn't get up,and had manoeuvred myself into a sitting position,when a man,probably in his late 20s walked towards me. He didn't say a word,just looked at me and walked round me! Didn't even ask if I was OK.
The second time was outside a grocers shop. One of the assistants came running out,helped me up,ushered me inside and sat me down. She then made me a cup of tea,and insisted that I stay there until I felt OK to continue with my shopping. Two totally different experiences.

Loads of people came to help me when I got knocked over by a cyclist - not the cyclist though, he rode off happily leaving me flat on the ground.

@SunsetBoulevard3 Can you link the good deed thread. I love a good deed.

I fainted in primark when I was pregnant and people stepped over me and when I came to, they were looking at jumpers over me so their feet were right next to my head!
But:
I have talked to a person crying on a bench
At a festival I found a lost kids mum
My brother took an old man who had fallen to hospital
My dh pulled numerous people out of the snow last year with our truck
I fed a stray dog and stayed until the dog warden came
I even picked up a rabbit that has it's back legs ran over in the road I was cycling it was screaming I picked it up and it died straightaway but at least it didn't get repeatedly run over!
Maybe things balance out universally! Poor you though xx

My best fall was in Edinburgh on New Year’s Day a few years ago. I impaled my leg on some low railings, broke my glasses and cut my head. I would stress I had only had a glass of Prosecco that morning and nothing the night before. I couldn’t move and got lots of help from a lovely lady who was passing. Through the blur of pain I could hear my sister shouting ‘oh god that’s my sister’. When I was finally hauled to my feet I insisted I was fine and we went back to where we were staying to inspect my injuries. The staff at the hotel handed me the 1st ai box and told me to help myself to what I wanted, that was their idea of helping.

In short some people help and others are shits luck of the draw.

I don't believe it is herd mentality I'd never walk by it is not in me. Unless it was violence in progress.

I fell over this time last year, 2 people stopped in the street and a lady stopped her car ... she even offered to drop me home (I was only 2 mins away so declined because my dog can be bad with strangers). It renewed my faith in humanity actually. Perhaps it depends where you are, they are a friendly bunch up here