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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really dislike the instant online sharing generation?

80 replies

MsChatterbox · 16/11/2019 13:55

For example. I'm at a small family barbecue. Return home and go onto instagram. Que lots of pictures and videos uploaded that I had no idea I was a part of (or my son, which I do not put online). Can't people enjoy something social without plastering it everywhere online? Or at least only upload themselves/friends that are aware?

Maybe I am being unreasonable and just need to adapt to how things are now. But I'm only 26. If I feel like this surely there are older generations that feel even more against it?

OP posts:

1forAll74 · 16/11/2019 15:02

It's the way of the world these days,as in lots of people putting photo's of anything and everything online. Oldies like me don't usually do this,as it's all a bit naff and annoying, when some numpty. randomly shoves a camera phone in your face,and post's the picture on line.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 16/11/2019 15:07

I have only one friend who insists on taking photos and posting them on FB while the event is actually happening ... and she is 50 and a little bit odd, God love her .

MintyMabel · 16/11/2019 15:46

Have your settings so you can't be tagged. Report any photos you don't want. Job done.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 16:10

@MintyMabel Untagged doesn't mean unseen. If your friend posts a picture of you with egg all over your chin and other friends see it, it's not worth the fuss of reporting or causing a disagreement, it's just a bit annoying. Curse of the modern age, though.

MintyMabel · 16/11/2019 16:14

it's not worth the fuss of reporting or causing a disagreement

@Eckhart It isn't a fuss, you click a button. The photo is removed, nobody knows you did it.

If people aren't going to stand up for themselves for fear of upsetting people then they have bigger problems than a picture on the internet.

Chickenpie9 · 16/11/2019 16:14

What worries me is the number of people who have their Facebook posts on a Public setting rather than friends only as some of the things which my friends and family comment on it’s clear the person has no idea randoms like me can see their photos and posts on their timelines .

PlausibleSuit · 16/11/2019 16:21

Yeah I get you on this actually. I (grudgingly) use social media professionally I'm a personal trainer but I have very rigid boundaries around it, and I don't use it personally (at least, not the posting-of-life-updates stuff like FB, Twitter, IG).

(I do have Pinterest, but it's just full of tiles and flooring ideas for my as-yet-unpurchased dream house )

I don't mind being in a picture with someone but I don't like them being posted online. Most of my friends and family know this, so they don't upload anything with me in it. I've been known to ask someone to take a picture down before now. Never had any bother about it.

caravanette · 16/11/2019 16:57

YANBU. When people say 'I love 80s music' - Boy George / Paul Young/Duran Duran etc list goes on /today's music is sxxt whilst I don't agree that all of today's music is bad, today's pop stars are part of the 'instagram' generation whilst Boy George and his ilk were Smash Hits /TOTP - with more of a mystery about them. This is what sets them apart. Some of today's music is good but it's alll 'instant!!!

caravanette · 16/11/2019 16:57

Sorry OP about my different emphasis but same sort of theme

ilovetofu · 16/11/2019 17:02

YANBU op.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 17:07

@MintyMabel It's a fuss if you don't use fb and have always avoided doing so. And it's annoying when a friend says 'Hey, have you seen the picture that Bob posted? You're covered in egg!!'

Bluerussian · 16/11/2019 17:10

Ms Chatterbox, I am with you all the way! I don't understand it either and would hate my face to be plastered on social media.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 17:11

And it's not about standing up for yourself, it's about picking your battles and prioritising. You can't ask everybody to stop doing anything that annoys you slightly, every time.

ShadowOnTheSun · 16/11/2019 17:23

I agree, OP. I must be a 100 year old deep inside as I don't understand this constant sharing of everything online. I mean, it doesn't bother me what others do, share away, it's not my business and not my life, but I don't understand it all the same. Like someone going to a restaurant, for example, taking a pic of their meal and posting it online with some caption. Just...why??? Really don't get it.

I don't have a facebook account at all, no instagram, twitter and whatnot. I'm not exactly old, I'm 31. It does annoy me slightly if someone posts a photo with me in it, but not enough to make a fuss about it. However, I do mind and do fuss if my child is in it. Don't like the idea of her photos being plastered all over internet, it somehow makes me uncomfortable.

Autumntoowet · 16/11/2019 17:33

YANBU but yes to all those saying it is across generations not the new ones.
I am in my 40s. I had a small wedding in our house, maybe 30 people. I let people know please no SM.
DH’s relatives in their 60s were the ones to make fun of my request on the day.
When DS was born it was hard to ask too but I did because I don’t think people should be posting pics of others on line

SuperMeerkat · 16/11/2019 17:37

It makes me cringe that people are so desperate to show others that they are having a good time that they have to film/photo it so often. Just live in the moment people, no need to prove to others how popular you are.

saveallyourkisses · 16/11/2019 21:14

I don't really like social media, and don't use any of it. I'm 31. I do also agree about being annoyed your DS is featured in the pics. I don't share pictures of my kids and would much prefer others didn't too. In my opinion, if you know me well enough, you know what my kids look like. I have however worked in domestic abuse victim support services and could well be more untuned/paranoid to the dangers of exposure.
I find selfies really tedious too. I just don't get it - my sister (who is 34) had over 200 photos of herself on her phone. I get taking pictures of places and things of interest if you do like sharing stuff, but why pictures of your own face? Especially snapchat filtered ones where everyone knows you look nothing like the picture anyway! Who are you trying to fool?
My Mum and sister love taking endless vanity pics and posting them and I find it unsettling, I think far too many people are looking for validation that, if they don't get regularly to feed their insecurities, makes them worry they aren't good enough. It's not particularly healthy and I really worry for my three DC as they get older.

saveallyourkisses · 16/11/2019 21:16

Untuned - *intuned

Hey1256 · 16/11/2019 21:17

YANBU I hate that people put pictures of me on the internet I find it soooooo rude. And it has just become the norm.

I'm 33 so I guess you could say just scrape part of the whole social media age group but I'm not on it, can't stand it and just find it a total privacy invasion.

lazylinguist · 16/11/2019 21:24

I think it all depends on what kind of people you have as your friends (and family) on social media. If your friends are shallow show-offs or attention-seekers, then their posts on FB will reflect that. My FB friends aren't the types to be posting constant 'look at me' posts. If someone were posting stupid duckpout selfies or endless 'here I am with a glass of prosecco' photis, I'd unfollow them sharpish!

Mamabear4180 · 16/11/2019 21:43

What do you do on social media OP? I mean this is a type of social media and you’re on here and you checked Instagram straight after a BBQ event. I think everyone’s a bit addicted to being online, I’m not sure anyone has any real moral high ground anymore. It’s really just how things are these days!

RebootYourEngine · 17/11/2019 05:07

@Mamabear4180 I think there is a difference from checking social media to posting every single detail of your life on it. I am a member of a few groups on fb, I check them regularly but I don't post much.

Newbie1981 · 17/11/2019 06:51

Funny you have an Instagram account tho. Why bother? I just don't see the problem. I only have friends and family on mine so it's not different to a WhatsApp group who share pics. Wind your neck in probably!

Stooshie8 · 17/11/2019 07:03

What's sadder is the number of people who look at this stuff - like you OP grin

MsRomanoff · 17/11/2019 07:18

I definitely agree with the fact thats it's not just younger people.

My 16 year old, doesnt like being on social media. She has an instagram account where she posts photos of her art work. No one knows it's her unless she chooses to tell them. My mother posted a photo of her on facebook, with her full name. Dd was upset, I was annoyed. Me and my mother are NC (long story but she didnt think my exh abusing and raping me was a big deal and I over reacted by leaving).

When I contacted her and pointed out posting photos, with her full name isnt a safe thing to do she pretended to not know anything about basic internet safety.

I lost my uncle last year. I found out in ny break by scrolling facebook, photos of the wake and were posted. All by people 50+ , not younger people.

I think it's a personality type that does this, rather than a generation.

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