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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it unusual to have no godparents?

133 replies

windmills88 · 15/11/2019 16:44

Do your children have godparents and if so, who are they and how many? Do most kids have godparents or is it quite unusual these days?

I wasn't planning to have any for our first child and wasn't going to have a christening either, but DH is keen - even though we're not religious.

I'm just wondering what most people do really!

OP posts:

Hauskat · 15/11/2019 16:47

I have two godfathers and two godfathers. My daughter has one godfather and two god mothers. We aren’t religious (though we were brought up religious) but we wanted to nominate some people who she might turn to for help or who could raise her if we died.

Elbeagle · 15/11/2019 16:48

No mine don’t. Neither of us are religious so it would be weird to have them christened.
I do have two ‘god children’ of sorts... they weren’t actually christened but their parents had a naming ceremony for them and I am ‘non godmother’.

runoutofideasnow · 15/11/2019 16:48

I'm Church of Scotland, we don't have god parents

Aquamarine1029 · 15/11/2019 16:48

My children don't have any godparents.

runoutofideasnow · 15/11/2019 16:48

My dh and I do have a godchild though

Sirzy · 15/11/2019 16:50

Ds was christened so has godparents. He is 10 now and only one of the 4 still plays an active role in his life. And that is a role he would have had anyway.

GettingABitDesperateNow · 15/11/2019 16:50

Mine dont have any. It seems odd when you're not religious and it's like trying to force a special relationship to me. I am not sure either if the whole looking after them when you die thing holds either - I understood SS take wills etc into account but not sure if they take godparents into account- either way it's not legally binding and they will look into what's best for the child at that time.

Selfsettlingat3 · 15/11/2019 16:50

The role of God parents is to encourage a Christian faith and has nothing to do who will look after your children if you die. You can make requests in your will about who will look after your children.

Cookit · 15/11/2019 16:50

I would have thought children that are christened have them and those that aren’t, don’t? Mine haven’t been christened. Of the people I know it’s probably about 50/50 even though I don’t know anyone who goes to church regularly.

dementedpixie · 15/11/2019 16:50

Our kids arent christened so there are no godparents. We arent religious but then that doesnt stop people from having them either!

OverthinkingThis · 15/11/2019 16:51

Nope no godparents for DC. No christenings either. We're not religious - neither of us was christened or had godparents.

xyzandabc · 15/11/2019 16:51

I don't have any god parents, my kids don't have any god parents. We are not religious.

If you're religious, have a christening, nominate godparents. If you're not, don't.

I thought the whole idea of God parents is an extra adult who can bring up the child within the teaching of the church.

No reason why you couldn't ask people to be significant in your child's life, setting good examples, moral guidance, being an extra person to look out for them, support them and listen to them. Just don't call them god parents or have a christening unless you want them to also bring a 'godly' element to the relationship.

modgepodge · 15/11/2019 16:51

I find it a bit odd when non religious people christen their children to be honest. Aren’t you promising to raise them in the way of the church? If you aren’t going to do that, why the christening? Just for the party/presents?

I see the poster above wants adults who are kind of stand in parents in case of anything happening to them. Makes sense, but I don’t think the religious element is necessary - wouldn’t this go in a will?

I hardly know anyone who has godparents for their children these days - those that do are religious and attend church regularly.

FizzyGreenWater · 15/11/2019 16:51

No, because we aren't religious.

The nominating someone who can raise the child if you die is something completely different and should be stipulated in a will anyway.

I kind of get the idea of nominating an adult who can be someone for the child to turn to but in practice Iit seems that non-religious people suddenly getting enthusiastic about godparents and christenings are about one thing - presents and cash. I know at least one person who had about five godparents, at least one of whom was selected because they were well off. Bit grim really...

GettingABitDesperateNow · 15/11/2019 16:51

I know some people that do it to get into schools but our local religious school requires 3 years of attendance at church every other weekend to get in so you actually have to be a committed Christian and a token baptism wont cut it

Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/11/2019 16:52

My DS has none. Neither do I. We are not religious and DS has not been christened.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/11/2019 16:54

I wouldn't see the point if you aren't having a Christening or equivalent to be honest. As people have said they don't have any legal status.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 15/11/2019 16:54

Mine weren't christened, so no godparents 🤷

meow1989 · 15/11/2019 16:56

I'm not christened and neither is my sister, we dont have god parents. Dh was baptised catholic so does have god parents but never had his confirmation as a child and hasnt seen his god parents in years, I dont know if he even knows who they are.

Neither of us are religious so ds will not be being baptised unless he makes the decision to be.

I do have a godson but it's been years since I've seen him

Confusedbeetle · 15/11/2019 16:57

The idea of christening is to bring the child into the arms of the Christian Church. The idea of Godparents is to ensure that the child is brought up in the Christian faith if the parents are not able to do that. If you are not religious why promise to do these things?

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 15/11/2019 16:57

"I'm Church of Scotland, we don't have god parents"

I'm Church of Scotland and that's news to me! I should let my godmother know

AlunWynsKnee · 15/11/2019 16:57

We aren't religious, dc aren't christened so don't have godparents. I was christened and had 3 godparents, 2 of whom I never saw again.

PurpleDaisies · 15/11/2019 16:58

I don’t have any.

thismeansnothing · 15/11/2019 16:58

Nope as I've not had either of them christened. I'm not religious so didn't see the point. They have plenty of family and family friends who love them and will help them should they need it.

fedup21 · 15/11/2019 16:59

No as they aren’t christened.

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