Is it unusual to have no godparents?

[windmills88]

Do your children have godparents and if so, who are they and how many? Do most kids have godparents or is it quite unusual these days?

I wasn't planning to have any for our first child and wasn't going to have a christening either, but DH is keen - even though we're not religious.

I'm just wondering what most people do really!

[FridalovesDiego]

I don’t know anyone with godparents.

[anxioussue]

I do but I've never met them, they weren't at my christening. Neither of the children do as I don't believe in religion.

[runoutofideasnow]

@anxioussue how can they be your godparents if they weren't at your christening?

[motherheroic]

I might as well not have any. Haven't seen them since I was a child. Can't even remember what one looks like.

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

No, because we aren’t religious and those close enough to be asked aren’t either. A christening is about joining the faith and god parents promising to raise the child in that faith.

Many just seem to do it for the party/gifts or to get into a school.

[isabellerossignol]

I was brought up in a very religious family. I wasn't christened and don't have godparents, because the church we attended don't believe in it.

My children aren't christened either.

[WhatisFreddoingnow]

That was very naughty of your MIL to do a baptism. All Catholics CAN baptise (following the proper rubric and use of water) in an emergency but it is really frowned upon to do so in a non-emergency and especially against the wishes of the parents.
The reason is that if the baby is bound to the laws of the Church through Baptism, but the parents are not raising her in the faith, then it will be impossible for him/her to keep him/her Baptismal vows. We must just trust in God's love for the child.

It doesn't matter if she was an 'advanced' Catholic (not quite sure what that means!), what she did was against church teaching (although still a valid baptism). I hope that she immediately told her priest (so it could be recorded) and I imagine that she got a proper dressing down from him about it.

[Kitkatfordinner]

The role of God parents is to encourage a Christian faith and has nothing to do who will look after your children if you die. You can make requests in your will about who will look after your children.
Very true. I have two godparents and one of them is my mum.

[GruciusMalfoy]

She has been taught to an advanced level in Catholicism apparently, so was allowed.

She's talking shite about being at an "advanced" level, and about it being allowed It can be done, but it certainly shouldn't be done in the way she did.

[BridgeFarmKefir]

I don't, my daughter doesn't. My parents were going to have me christened and then never got around to it. We're both atheists so obviously wouldn't have our daughter christened.

A friend of mine has just been made a guide parent, a secular version, which is nice. The parents waited until their child was a bit older to see who was a continuous presence in her life.

[Ohyesiam]

What Is it that your husband Wants from a christening? You could go for a. Naming ceremony instead? I’ve been to a few of those.

[BeanBag7]

In my group of friends its about 50/50. For our children it's probably more like 1 in 4 is christened and has godparents.

My husband has godparents - one of his uncles (but not sure which one) and probably his uncles ex wife. I dont think it made any difference to his life at all.

[BeanBag7]

I'm also godparents to my cousin. His parents never went to church and werent married in a church. As far as I know the cousin has never been to church in his life, except for his own christening. I am now an atheist. So all a big pointless waste of time really

[BetsyBigNose]

DH was raised CofE and I was raised Catholic, both of us were Baptised as babies and had one male and one female Godparent each.

This would never happen these days, or there’d at least be some ‘sad-face’ photos in the Daily Fail…

However, in 1986, at my Roman Catholic Primary school, in my Year 1 class of 23 children, I was the only child of divorced parents, so was banned from attending weekly Holy Communion classes and had to sit alone for an hour each week whilst my classmates prepared to make theirs. Other children in the class had unmarried parents or had never known their father etc. and could participate, but because my parents had gone through the process of legally ending their marriage, I was not allowed. I remember feeling very upset and left out at the time (I was 6).

This led to me being very angry at the RC Church, but eventually returning to Christianity through my local CofE church in my mid 20’s. Happily, by the time my DSis was in Yr 1, the school had a new Priest and there was a new, more progressive Canon with a bit of common sense in the Diocese, who reasoned that a child should not be turned away by the church due to the actions of their parents.

For our eldest DD, we chose my closest friend here in the UK & DH's best friend and DD2 has my best friend who has since emigrated to Australia (but writes/emails/video chats with us regularly and makes a real effort to maintain their bond) and DH's step-father, who is not particularly 'good with children', but he has a God Daughter (aged 30ish) with whom he has a great relationship so we hoped that this position might help him to form a similar bond with DD2, but alas - he still hides in his study whenever children visit!

Our main criteria were that they are a "good" person; someone we wanted our children to look up to, to feel comfortable to go to with questions and who would offer decent advice (hopefully similar to ours!), if asked. They didn’t have to be Christian and regular churchgoers. It was important to us that they had a Faith, but it wouldn't have mattered which religion they followed.

I don't think it's particularly 'unusual' to have no Godparents these days, I just think that less parents seem to regularly worship and they therefore feel that having a child Christened would be a bit "odd", or they choose to let the child decide once they are old enough to make an informed choice themselves.

I'll admit I do find it a bit strange when parents who are Atheists arrange a Christening for their DC - why go to the effort of having a special ceremony when you don't believe it's real? It's a grown up's version of playing make believe, but in front of all your friends and family whilst choosing two of them to promise things that you don't really want them to do, to someone you don't believe exists!

I think Christenings are getting rarer, therefore a child not having Godparents is becoming more unusual, but I wouldn't call it 'unusual' in itself.

[WhatisFreddoingnow]

However, in 1986, at my Roman Catholic Primary school, in my Year 1 class of 23 children, I was the only child of divorced parents, so was banned from attending weekly Holy Communion classes and had to sit alone for an hour each week whilst my classmates prepared to make theirs. Other children in the class had unmarried parents or had never known their father etc. and could participate, but because my parents had gone through the process of legally ending their marriage, I was not allowed. I remember feeling very upset and left out at the time (I was 6).

This is not correct application of the teaching and should have gone to the Bishop. A priest cannot point to the status of the parents in order to refuse communion to their child. If the child has attained the age of reason, is properly prepared, and wishes to receive the sacrament it is his/her canonical right to receive the sacrament. Refusal based on the listed grounds above would be entirely for the priest to prove.

I get really angry at terrible teachers of the faith. I understand that it can turn people away but always remember that you may get a poor teacher but that doesn't mean that the subject itself isn't still true.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

We aren't Christians (we are atheist), so no godparents. Will sets out our wishes as to who would care for the DC in the event we both died.

[AliceAforethought]

She's talking shite about being at an "advanced" level, and about it being allowed

Yep, talking shite was my MILs special talent.

[Marmite27]

DC1 has my brother and DH’s sister. DC2 has DH’s brother and his wife, who happens to be my best friend.

[Marmite27]

Oh and our friends child who had a naming ceremony has guide parents, which I thought was a nice title/description.

[BrigitsBigKnickers]

Nope- my DDs weren't christened so why would they have God parents? Some members of the family were a bit miffed we didn't have a christening but as we are all non religious staunch atheists it seemed pretty pointless to ask someone to stand in church and promise to ensure the child grew up with Christian values for the sake of a party.

I was christened and I believe my aunt and uncle were my designated God Parents but as they were relatives I can't say that I ever had an additionally special relationship with them.

[jackstini]

My DC were baptised as I'm a christian and it was very important to me. DH is an atheist but wasn't worried either way and knew I was
They both have Godparents and are close to them

Legally, 2 of those Godparents (my dsis, DH's dbro) are appointed legal guardians and in the event of our death would decide between them who the DC would live with depending what was best at that time

[Rosebud21]

My niece & nephew don't have godparents, but my sister & Bil asked me if I would be a guardian to the children if anything happened to them, their parents. I said yes it's documented in their wills

[CactusSmactus]

I’ve no godparents, neither do my siblings or my children. Isn’t it a religious thing?

[Choice4567]

Not entirely sure why you’d want a christening if you’re not religious? You want to stand in church and promise to bring you’re children up to believe in God and renounce the Devil?

[OnlyAGirlsHorse]

I always found it odd when atheists baptize their children & name godparents.

It isn't something we've done, since we're not Christian, and would actively oppose anyone trying to indoctrinate our children into a cult. If my children approaches a faith through a genuine desire to follow that's different, but me appointing someone to ensure they're brought up with the right Christian faith would be sheer hypocrisy.