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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it unusual to have no godparents?

133 replies

windmills88 · 15/11/2019 16:44

Do your children have godparents and if so, who are they and how many? Do most kids have godparents or is it quite unusual these days?

I wasn't planning to have any for our first child and wasn't going to have a christening either, but DH is keen - even though we're not religious.

I'm just wondering what most people do really!

OP posts:

Ragwort · 15/11/2019 17:56

We have a faith and our DS was christened and has three Godparents,, both my DH and I have Godparents, my DGM still sends me a cheque every Birthday and Christmas (I am over 60!).

Having Godparents is nothing to do with ‘guardians’ for your D.C. in the case of your death, this needs to be written into your Will.

Original poster

windmills88 · 15/11/2019 17:56

Thanks for the responses - so it sounds like most people don't get their child christened and don't have godparents?

I am not christened and neither are my 3 children. Because we are not Christians. I am however a god parent.

Out of interest why are you a god parent when you're not religious, if it's a religious role?

OP posts:

Far2go46 · 15/11/2019 17:57

Devil parents ftw

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 15/11/2019 18:00

My children don't have godparents and neither do I. My family are atheists and have been for generations.

My partner was brought up Presbyterian. He doesn't have godparents, nor did either of his parents, one Presbyterian, one from a mixed Catholic/Presbyterian background.

Don't have secular equivalents either.

I don't think it's unusual at all.

Parky04 · 15/11/2019 18:01

Neither of our two are christened so no god parents. We felt it was not our decision to make.

RebeccaCloud9 · 15/11/2019 18:05

It annoys me to an irrational degree when people say that godparents will be the ones to raise a child after the parents die. It's just NOT TRUE! (Although you might well nominate the same people in your will if they are who you are closest too etc).

RebeccaCloud9 · 15/11/2019 18:08

I'm a godparents to a friend's child just because I think it's nice, and a nice relationship to have, and an honour to be asked. But I am 100% atheist - happy to give him non religious guidance though!

My children are not christened so no god parents. We did consider some kind of naming ceremony and choosing non god equivalents but we just didn't get round to it in the end!

ohmysoul · 15/11/2019 18:11

I was baptised as an adult so don't have godparents, only a sponsor. My daughter has 2 godmothers and 1 godfather. We are Christians. In our wills it is someone completely different who would become my daughter's guardian if something happened to me and my husband.

TurquoiseDress · 15/11/2019 18:13

I'm not sure, maybe 50/50 amongst our friends

Going on a tangent, DH and I had mini argument about the whole 'god parent looks after the child if the parents die'

He was insisting that his brother would take DC1 to look after and I was a bit hmmm I don't think so.

I've still not got around to writing my will (or sorting life insurance) but I'd want our two DC to go to one of my two siblings. They both have children and don't live that far away from us. DH's brother lives abroad

DH surprised me at how vehemently he insisted that's where DC would go if the worst were to happen to us

This is motivating me to get my will sorted!

Rhubardandcustard · 15/11/2019 18:18

Nope. Not religious, not christened, no godparents.

BackforGood · 15/11/2019 18:21

I do attend Church (as did my parents) and I was Christened, and all my dc have been Christened, but I don't have any Godparents and my dc don't have any Godparents.

Lots of people don't - obviously including all those of other faiths and those without a faith.

Heatherjayne1972 · 15/11/2019 18:29

No none of my kids are christened so no
Godparents
Felt that religious choice is down to the individual and so not my place to decide for them

Thesearmsofmine · 15/11/2019 18:32

I am not religious so no godparents here. I wouldn’t agree to be a godparent for another child either.

crosstalk · 15/11/2019 18:39

My DCs were baptised since I (though not DH) was an unconfirmed Christian. 4 godparents each chosen for their willingness and enthusiasm to support the DC at the time. All but 1 have disappeared but they have been an enormous help to the one DC in advice and practical help. My DH though not Christian is godfather (I like oddfather) to three children and has always been on hand for them.

bananapuddles · 15/11/2019 18:41

I don't have any and my kids don't either. They have lots of people who love them and they are the only grandchildren on either side so plenty of spoiling going on

riotlady · 15/11/2019 18:44

DD had a christening and has 4 god parents. My partner isn’t religious but I am and it was really important to me.

Two of those god parents are also who she would go to if we died, but that’s just because they’re our best friends, not because they’re god parents.

EmmiJay · 15/11/2019 18:52

I have two Godmothers and a Godfather. I am a Godmother to my cousin. DD hasn't yet been Christened so she only has two 'Godfather' figures. Like Liz Hurley I made sure to pick only rich ones (totally joking).

GeorgiaGirl52 · 15/11/2019 18:58

Baptists have baby "dedication" where the parents present the child to the church congregation and all vow to love, lead, and support child in his/her spiritual life. No godparents.

Bunnybigears · 15/11/2019 19:00

My kids arent Christened, how am I supposed to know what if any religion they may want to follow when they are just a baby? So no Godparents for either of them.

Bluerussian · 15/11/2019 19:03

Never had mine baptised so no Godparents for him. There are simple naming ceremonies that people have and a couple of sponsers are chosen from close, reliable friends.

I had G'parents who did bugger all for me.

A woman I know, very nice, she cuts my hair, has two God daughters who stay with her all through the school holidays. She takes her promises very seriously which is lovely, she's single with no children but the two she looks after are smashing girls, I've met them twice.

PianoTuner567 · 15/11/2019 19:05

None for us and only two families of my acquaintance did it. Neither of them are church goers so I didn’t see the point but each to their own. If the vicar doesn’t mind, who I am to argue?

Definitely the minority though, I’d say it’s not very common now.

SalrycLuxx · 15/11/2019 19:06

No. It’s weird. I’ve done a will to set out custody preferences if we die, and we have friends and family who are all involved with the kids.

NightIbble · 15/11/2019 19:07

I'm religious but my DH isn't, we got DS christened and he has 5 Godparents.

JacquesHammer · 15/11/2019 19:08

No. Not religious so not relevant.

I was asked to be a god-parent but turned it down (politely!)

Jollitwiglet · 15/11/2019 19:10

I have godparents, haven't seen or heard from them in over 15 years.

My children don't have godparents. I think it's becoming more common now to having naming ceremonies rather than christenings

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