to be outraged by Nativity casting as 'Innkeeper's wife'!!!

[PIPERHELLO]

Daughter (6) has been cast as 'someone's wife' in the Nativity play at school. 'Innkeeper's wife' to be precise.

Err...hello!?

This is fucking not OK! In 2019, to be identified as 'someone's wife'.

Normally I am pretty relaxed about all things school, and I certainly feel sorry for he teachers' workloads, but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Itching to call them out on this. Itching!

Tell the school you want the innkeeper to be female. Or male identifying as female.

Im not religious so should get upset about children being force fed the nativity and jesus as son of god stuff - but i like traditional stuff particularly at Christmas and have made it my job to get my children to question things and come to their own conclusions. I never cared what part they played in the nativity. Get over it - merry Christmas !!!

She's lucky, I was an ox

now that is traumatic, how are you handling life after this difficult time

@MrsWooster - that is sort of how I feel! I am looking at myself thinking 'get over yourself / don't be 'that parent', I would love to feel like I could take the piss out of myself on this, too.

But I just feel like this is constant. I suspect it is just the straw that broke the camel's back!

@VardySheWrote, being described as Xs wife in THIS context is bad.

There are plenty of contexts where it’s totally fine. Ones where is NOT about making the wide secondary to the husband.

If I was the teacher I would get a boy dressed in drag to play the part to piss you off evenmore.

If we knew the innkeepers wifes name she would be called that.Im someone's wife, if a friend of dh didn't know me hed call me dh wife.Its a non issue.

It's tradition. Things were different then. What if your dd had been cast as the donkeys rear end? (It could be a male donkey, of course).

And people wonder why Mumsnet is often a laughing stock

Next you'll be complaining about Mary being pregnant by another man...

This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!?

I'm afraid I am quite frequently somebody's wife. Most of the rest of the time I am somebody's mother. Occasionally I am me. Things haven't changed so much in 2000 years.

Have we all just assumed the innkeeper is heterosexual?

The innkeepers wife has always been referred to as just that. Maybe you could think of a name for her, like Sandra

Surely then the innkeeper would need a name too. 'innkeeper and Sandra' isn't really fair on the innkeeper, he's a person with a name.

Yes this! -

I see your point. Why not second innkeeper, or landlady? something that's not 'Male role = an actual role; Female Role = male's dependent". How did they cast? Did they consider a girl for the role of Innkeeper? etc. It's a small point but pernicious. But then we are talking about a story in which the Woman is revered for Not Having Sex and Being A Virgin, which is a whole other thing!

I remember when the 'interesting' threads started late afternoon on a Friday. They're getting earlier and earlier.

Surely at the time of the nativity the inn keeper would be a man and if he had a wife she would be thought of as the inn keeper's wife?

there's always someone destroying the thread with a sensible and accurate post!

Of course CripsSandwiches you are absolutely right, but outraged people do not want to know about anything that doesn't meet their agenda
and a WIFE! How outrageous is that

You're being ridiculous!! The inn keeper is a big part and usually has lines it would be weird if they just sent a letter home saying your daughter is playing the part of Sharon, you'd be saying who the hell is sharon?!?!
Honestly a nativity is a lovely thing to be part of and to watch, don't make schools think twice about doing them because they can't be bothered with the hassle they get. Pick your battles, this isn't it

My experience of working in hospitality is the wide is the one who is sober enough to actually keep the whole show on the road, be it pub, restaurant or hotel. I'd happily mention it to the teacher, I'm happily 'that parent'. I write letters, but I've also been the ONLY parent to turn up to events the school has arranged to discuss changes in school policy.

So what other plays do you think should be changed then, OP.

The Merry Wives of Windsor might be a start. Let's get Shakespeare sorted out then.

Virgin Mary is assumed to be female, but how out of touch is that?

I can't get upset about this.
The last property I rented was owned by a woman. I referred to her husband as the landlady's husband because that is what he was...he didn't own the property so he wasn't the landlord.
These things happen. I wouldn't call my GP's wife a Doctor because that would be ridiculous given that she is a teacher.

Well, it is at least historically accurate. If you are that fussed about it you talk to her about how 2000 years ago the wife would be described as a wife, while probably doing more of the hard graft than the husband and certainly more of the menial chores. These days there are plenty of wives still, I am one, but our contribution to lives and individual status as a person is now acknowledged. So we have moved on.

Gosh, I don’t hold much hope for improvements in misogynistic language based on this bunch of responses from people here. Depressing that many of you can’t even see it.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

For the love of fuck, don’t be such a donkey.

It might be 2019, but the nativity is a ‘few’ years old now. Maybe you’d like Jesus to be a girl? Maybe they could get Jo to book a few nights in a birthing suite on his phone. And obviously if it was written now it would be 3 Wise Women as we all know that finding 3 wise men is like finding a needle in a hay stack!

You’re being utterly ridiculous.

It's 2019 why are you assuming the 'Inn keeper' is a male

I see your point OP but the issue is that “inn-keeper’s wife” isn’t an actual role - it’s one that has been made up to give an extra child a “part”. From memory she doesn’t actually say anything? As someone upthread said it would be different if they called Mary “Joseph’s wife” because everyone knows who Mary is due to her own life but nobody would have any idea who your DD was if they gave her an actual name!

I guess the most 2019 way of doing this would be to give your DD the role of innkeeper and a boy the role of innkeeper’s husband, although that wouldn’t be historically accurate as all innkeepers were men back in the year 0!

I wouldn’t say anything when it’s the nativity but would say something if it was a newly-written play set in today’s times.