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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to wear my work uniform?

302 replies

Pussinboots25 · 14/11/2019 18:31

Hi, sorry this is a very boring AIBU. I recently got a new job and filled out a sheet regarding uniform. The options are small, medium, large and extra large and I picked small (I’m a size 6/8 and very petite)

The uniform came today and I tried it on when I got home, it is HUGE! The polo shirt is so long it almost goes to my knees and and the jacket could fit me in twice. I look absolutely ridiculous. AIBU to refuse to wear the uniform? They have told me they don’t do extra small Confused

OP posts:
Ippydippyskyblue · 16/11/2019 02:25

I sincerely didn’t mean my post in a nasty way at all.

I just suggested that you turn up at work to just show management how ridiculous the uniform looks on you. Particularly on you, because many people gripe about their uniforms for relatively minor things, but yours on the other hand, will prove to them that not everyone gripes about small things. Your reasons are actually very justified.

I would pack a change of clothes to wear as an alternative though, so that you can suggest to management that you can change Into something safer and something that won’t hinder your work!

I’m sure they’ve had people in the past at the other end of the scale too, especially these days and rising obesity rates. That they’re far too big to fit into their uniforms? Or maybe bodybuilders who’s biceps are too big to fit into their tops?

Out of all the options, I think I’d be the most mortified, as if my uniform, having chosen the largest, was still too small for me. I’d just want to crawl away into a corner!

And btw, I am a generously endowed lady, so I’d almost certainly have problems fitting into this uniform of their’s tooBlush!

madcatladyforever · 16/11/2019 02:40

I do feel sorry for you OP, they should pay for you to get your uniform altered. I had the opposite problem once. before I lost 7 stone after bariatric surgery I was given a little teeny teashirt to wear with clingy trousers and I looked disgusting.
I left that job eventually as I felt so self conscious.
It can't be that hard for them to sort you out the correct size uniform.

DoIHaveAChoice · 16/11/2019 07:58

Love that the OP who supposedly isn't confident felt the need to say how petite they were

Wtf kinda comment is that?! I'm petite. As a result I was a prime target for bullies throughout my entire school life. Bullying for years DOES affect your self esteem and confidence to the extent of needing meds to go out of the house.

The bullying has also continued into adulthood at work. In fact in my first job they relished in providing me with a uniform that was hugely too big, making me wear it and laughing at me continuously. My polo shirt sleeves were to my elbows and my skirt had to be rolled up several times and secured with a belt that made me look like I was wearing a sack. Oh the fucking hilarity as everyone pointed and laughed at me for a whole month before anyone ordered me a more suitable size. I joined in with laughing for the first couple of days, and then it really became uncomfortable, not only being the source of everyone's jokes but wearing the damn thing. Constantly rolling it back up, tripping up over it, getting it caught in equipment and apparatus. It wasn't safe, but it was just so funny that didn't matter!

Some of the posters on here who think that smaller people don't suffer the same sort of shit as larger people and think we walk around all super confident are naive.

Simply saying you are petite is not a brag.

OverByYer · 16/11/2019 08:34

Why the fuck does the OP have to post a photo?
It’s a chat forum not Crown Court.
Bullies.

Ilovetolurk · 16/11/2019 08:50

Scrolled through 10:pages for the photo

Unfortunately I’ve invested in an additional page. Never mind at least I’m placemarked just in case

OverByYer · 16/11/2019 08:53

I think some of you need to get out more

ilovechocolate07 · 16/11/2019 08:58

I'm 5ft2 and in my late teens I worked at a high street shop with a uniform. I remember that feeling when I tried on the blouse and skirt. Felt like a 5 year old trying on my mum's clothes. The skirt was to my ankles and blouse near to knees and I looked and felt ridiculous. Even now it takes clever dressing and shopping around a lot to look ok.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/11/2019 09:02

"trousers, which are far warmer in winter and far more practical"

No, skirts with thick tights are far warmer than trousers and socks.

Aridane · 16/11/2019 09:59

@OverByYer

Of course she doesn’t

Posters are only pushing on this because she said she wS going do so (and hasn’t)

OverByYer · 16/11/2019 11:08

@Aridane oh how frustrating for you all

Aridane · 16/11/2019 11:15

Not really, @OverByYer - just answering your question.

Ellyess · 16/11/2019 11:41

Pussinboots25
Sorry to arrive late I have only just found your dilemma.
I do not think you are being unreasonable.
I am so sorry you are going through all this discomfort which I understand, especially as you are not someone who is especially assertive or self-confident. The people saying unkind things here are rude and my advice is to ignore them.
As your workplace which I guess is a hospital are telling you to wear the uniform, I suggest you take it in and change into it at work then show your Manager what it is like. If they insist you wear it I think they are being unreasonable, but maybe you can somehow alter it a bit and put a belt round it.
If you worked under me I would try and find you a shirt of the right colour and/or ask you to look for a shirt of the right colour and reimburse you the cost. If you even wore a tee shirt of the correct colour then I would accept it with your hospital identity tag.
I am so sorry you are being upset by this. It is a good example that small-sized people can suffer just as extra large people may suffer when it comes to work uniforms. There should always be a way to accommodate people who are not within the average sizing and it should never make them feel uncomfortable.
Good luck! Take heart! You look lovely even in the huge shirt, so try and feel confident.

Ellyess · 16/11/2019 11:58

DoIHaveAChoice and OverByYer
Well said! About people bullying small people. I'm quite big and defo overweight but I'd never dream of saying anything nasty to a small girl. I'm so sorry to hear of the pain you went through at the hands of mean and nasty people.

I've had friends who were small and one in particular who had a problem that stopped her growing which wasn't obvious enough for people to realise (such as with the people who stay very small). She went through hell. I even cried for her once in M&S, when comments were made about her "old ugly face wearing kids' clothes".

Once I got ill and went very thin. I remember how hard it was to gain weight and how grim it was to hear people comment behind my back. I stopped going to the swimming baths because of it and this was when I was much better!

How I wish people could recognise that human beings come in a huge range of shapes and sizes and that we should celebrate that!

Think of dogs!! I have a rescued Chihuahua which is small even for that breed. He thinks he's a German Shepherd and when he sees a big dog he strides up to it and takes it on and is totally unaware of the size difference!

The poor OP is being bullied at work, a workplace where you'd expect people to have compassion. She asks us for advice and out come the bullies here. Shame on you!

I think the OP has shown great poise here and I'm so glad people like you have supported her.

Biggobyboo · 16/11/2019 12:04

Bullying is the Mumsnet way.

steff13 · 16/11/2019 12:07

I don't see anything from the OP's posts that indicate she's being bullied at work, unless I've missed one. "Sorry, this is the smallest size we have, you'll have to make due," isn't bullying.

Ellyess · 16/11/2019 12:17

Ippydippyskyblue
"I sincerely didn’t mean my post in a nasty way at all". Speaking for myself - obviously! - I didn't think your post was meant in a nasty way at all. I understood that you were sympathising from the point of view of a large person. I understand how mortifying it is to be asked to squeeze one's bulges into a too-tight top and be seen by all with every bulge, fat bit, heavy arms, pulling buttons, huge blossoms, roll of stomach all exaggerated by the tight shirt. I shudder at the memory and, like you, I wanted to hide in a dark place and just quietly die.
The mortification of us bigger girls can lead us to think that small built girls/ladies are so lucky! I probably would have been envious of tiny dainty women if I hadn't had a friend in that category and known how she suffered. I said above how she was bullied. She also had dreadful trouble buying clothes and adult shoes and reaching top shelves in the Supermarket and being able to see at the Theatre. Then there were my Chinese friends, here as students. They were petite and neat and dainty. They were such good friends and so kind and funny too. But going round the town with them I overheard not just racist comments but again the nasty remarks about the fact that most of them were small, especially small-busted. It was appalling! They were here because our University also is in China and students start their degree in China and spend a year in Britain. It is something to be so proud of! But some people are just jealous of somebody who is different I suppose.

Ellyess · 16/11/2019 12:19

steff13 True. But it isn't sympathetic or helpful and forcing someone to do something unreasonable is bullying.

steff13 · 16/11/2019 12:21

I don't agree with that in this situation.

Derbee · 16/11/2019 12:27

OP asks for advice
People aslk for a photo to see how bad it is and what they can siggest
OP says she’s posting a photo imminently
OP doesn’t post photo
PPs ask about the photo
A little Mumsnet subset with their own issues start throwing around accusations of bullying

Biggobyboo · 16/11/2019 13:07

Derbee - there are some pretty unpleasant comments from the keyboard warriors if you read the whole thing.

Derbee · 16/11/2019 13:15

@Biggobyboo there are, but the people throwing accusations around about bullying were making an issue of people asking about the photo that was promised

Biggobyboo · 16/11/2019 13:24

But the OP isn’t beholden to random, anonymous internet people to provide a photo. Perhaps she has concerns about her privacy now.

Derbee · 16/11/2019 13:32

But it’s not bullying to ask for the photo that OP said she was uploading. So shouting about bullying and how this isn’t a court of law etc is over the top.

HyacynthBucket · 16/11/2019 13:48

Can you not go in, not wearing it but take it with you, explain that it is miles too big, and what can they suggest? if they do not come up with a solution themselves, suggest that you could get it taken in/up, but in the meantime can you wear your own clothes for a short while. Sounds reasonable, and they will probably want to help when they see the problem.

cannockcandy · 16/11/2019 13:59

Please come and update us with what happened at work today.
I'm a shortie, 5foot 1 and everything I wear flogs me. Every pair of trousers I own have to be altered and I have to be careful buying top, just like another poster here, as if they are vnecks the v bit sometimes comes down below my breast bone! It's not comfortable or nice to wear clothes that are too big.