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AIBU?

Friends gift to dd

95 replies

Vendividivichi · 14/11/2019 14:46

My dds has a friend who's 16 birthday is tomorrow
They don't go around with each other at school, but mainly go to the gym together.
But they have been friends from primary school

Yesterday me and my dd went to the jewelers as dd wanted to buy the df a pair of pandora earrings they were £27

I said to dd that's quite a lot of money to spend as dd doesn't have much pocket money. But dd insisted and said that df had bought her an expensive ring for dds last birthday (df works for family business and gets lots of pocket money)

So I said ok your money your choice and she bought the earrings

I've just found the ring dds - df bought her.
It's sterling silver (925) with 9 zirconia / glass (no sparkle at all) stones. One of which has already fallen out!

A quick eBay search shows prices at about £3 delivered.
My dd was obviously under the impression that it was more valuable than it actually was hence wanting to buy a proper pandora

I don't think I should say anything to dd and just let it go because it was a gift and my dd likes her ring and it's all about the thought.

But at the same time I'm a bit 🤔

OP posts:
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VenusTiger · 14/11/2019 19:23

Thing is OP you can also find that ring for £30 elsewhere so it’s not the point here.
Let her buy her the earrings.

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Vendividivichi · 14/11/2019 19:27

Thanks, lots of mixed advice

she doesn't spend much on presents any way. A bar of chocolate, sometimes a cake or a bit of makeup.

I think the reason that she spent so much was because she thought the ring was expensive.
Her friend apparently has 2 pandora bracelets with multiple charms.

I think I will leave it as she likes the ring (even with the stone missing) and I don't want to make her feel bad in any way.

It will be interesting to see what happens on her 16th

OP posts:
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FrivolousPancake · 14/11/2019 19:31

God don’t tell her.
I can’t believe you went investigating to find out how much it cost Hmm not that you get know because it could have been bought in a boutique or market stall for a huge mark up.

I find it so distasteful that people actually search out the cost of gifts. Gross

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namechangetheworld · 14/11/2019 19:33

Don't tell her for goodness sake. It will make your DD feel like shit.
She sounds like a really kind girl.

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Alsohuman · 14/11/2019 19:38

I can’t believe people price up gifts and reciprocate accordingly. You could learn from your daughter, OP.

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firesong · 14/11/2019 19:48

Wouldn't go on about prices of gifts, tbh. She's old enough to choose the gift herself with her own money.

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Straycatstrut · 14/11/2019 19:49

I used to shower my "friends" in gifts I'd spend all my pocket money on and get nothing in return, even though they'd promised me they had surprises for me, horrible memories.

I totally understand you not wanting your daughter to be made a mug out of here. Her friend may have lied and said the ring was really expensive.

I'd tell her and ask her if she'd like to keep the ear rings for herself (she earned them). If she still wants to gift them I think that's really nice.

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gloriamobil · 14/11/2019 20:04

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HopelessLayout · 14/11/2019 20:11

Tell her or the friend will feel really awkward and will then think DD is OTT/a mug.

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karashote · 14/11/2019 20:11

Thanks Gloria,

I'll take a look x

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LazyFace · 14/11/2019 21:15

I would tell her. It looks like friend may have pretended her present was expensive and you said £27 is a lot for her. Then I'd let her decide if she wants to keep them or give them to her friend.

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Armadillostoes · 14/11/2019 21:23

YABVU and really intrusive. I would have been mortified at that age to discover that my mother had nosed around to find our how much a friend had spent on me. It is possible that the ring was more expensive than you imagine. How would you feel if your interference spoilt their friendship and later down the track it turns out that you made a mistake.

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Vendividivichi · 14/11/2019 21:33

I didn't go looking for the price originally.

I found the ring and saw that a stone had fallen out of one of the holders and thought that if it had been a quality ring it wouldn't have happened

I thought that maybe it was a pandora ring because that was what she was discussing and looked to see if it had any mark on it. But it didn't.

My dd doesn't have much money so this was a really expensive gift from her.

I'm not going to say anything to her, the earings are boxed, wrapped and tied with a lovely bow.

OP posts:
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Rubyupbeat · 14/11/2019 21:34

So what?
Your daughter liked the ring and that's all that matters.
27.00 is not a fortune and if that's what makes your daughter happy, best to keep schtum!

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TartanMarbled · 14/11/2019 21:36

Ah, don't say anything to her. Let her be under the impression that her friend got her an expensive present.

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MummytoCSJH · 14/11/2019 21:39

You just happened to find the ring... or you went out of your way to check that the ring was as expensive? Hmm How odd.

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BlackAudi · 14/11/2019 21:39

Yeah it would break DD's heart to discover its a cheap ring.

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isspacethefinalfrontier · 14/11/2019 21:40

Thanks Gloria, I'll take a look x

Are you related to gloria the spammer or Gloria herself with another user name

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Candle1000 · 14/11/2019 21:41

I found the ring and saw that a stone had fallen out of one of the holders and thought that if it had been a quality ring it wouldn't have happened

I lost a diamond from my engagement ring, it was far from poor quality.

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VeganCow · 15/11/2019 14:53

My daughter lost a stone from a Pandora ring, you're paying for the name. But their after care is good and they replaced the ring.
In terms of quality the earrings that were £27 probably match the ring, just not in cost.

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Funguy · 15/11/2019 17:33

I think she could keep the earrings and get her friend a much cheaper item. I think it's a lesson to be explained...Mine was a generous girl and actually it can look like you are trying to buy friendship.

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Mummadeeze · 15/11/2019 17:43

Don’t ruin her enjoyment of her ring or her friendship, especially as you don’t actually know what the friend paid for it. Internet jewellery can be loads cheaper than jewellery bought in shops.

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Binglebong · 15/11/2019 17:49

If you can find a replacement stone they are usually pretty easy to repair. On some I've used superglue but if it has a cage fitting it's just a case of reshaping it.

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Toomuchtrouble4me · 15/11/2019 17:51

Why on earth would you tell her that? How odd. There is a joy in giving - let her be a generous soul and enjoy giving a lovely gift.

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Toomuchtrouble4me · 15/11/2019 17:53

I Also list s diamond from a quality ring - it happens, doesn’t mean that the ring was shite.

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