AIBU to work full time with 3 children?

[Lucyggy]

Have NC for this as it could be outing.

I have 3 DC aged 6, 4 and 12 months.

I am currently working my notice in my part time job after having been offered a full-time (term time only) position. I returned to my current position after maternity leave with DC3 and realised it just wasn't working for me. An opportunity arose for a job with a higher salary and much better career prospects and generally a better job!

However, I'm having a wobble about working full time. I haven't worked full time since I had DC1 6 years ago. We have childcare all worked out and DH's job is flexible so he can do school runs etc. I just keep thinking about how I will miss out on time with the DC. Particularly DC3. It's term time only so I will have all the school holidays off which is great, but of course that means I'm restricted to taking leave then so wouldn't be able to go to school plays etc. I'm worried about getting stuff done in the house, organising the kids activities and clubs etc.

I think I'm just having a panic but just wondering how many of you work/worked full time with 3 DC and was it actually do-able? I don't want to give up the opportunity but am having serious second thoughts!

I have 4 dc and we have both always worked FT, apart from just under 1 year mat leaves for me. Its perfectly doable and many people do it. Depending on the job, most jobs are pretty flexible these days for the odd working from home day, school play, sports day etc.

I would go for it.

I recently went back to full time work after 2.5 years as a SAHM. I've only one DC but am finding it difficult to juggle everything I once did in the house and working as DH works away a lot and I have a pretty long commute, but I really like my job so that helps!

Having all the school holidays off sounds brilliant.

I get it as, 12 months is young, I think the fact that your mum is doing 3 of the days makes a big difference though, I wouldn't want my baby to be 5 days in nursery.

Is there an option to do compressed hours so you get a day off or even half a day? And/or can you work flexitime? If it was me I'd try and do a really early start, eg 7-3 so I'd then have a couple of hours with the baby and kids every day (though appreciate you won't be able to do that on nursery days).

Talk to the employer and see if you can make it work better for you.

You would be mad not to take this opportunity, term time jobs are like gold dust! Your DC will be fine, so will you - you get 13 weeks off a year, that's loads! And think of what you can do with the extra money you'll earn, not to mention the hissy clubs you'll save on for the school- age DC.

I have 3 kids. Me and DH both teachers, both full time.

My 3 are in before / after school club every day and the little one in full time nursery. I never do a pick up or a drop off, neither does DH and no family option.

You will all be fine

Go for it. It feels like the kids are always on holiday and they’ll get good time with you then rather than going to holiday club like mine do. Just make sure you make good but calm and rejuvenating plans for the holidays. Not always hanging about the house but not too many crazy stressful “day trips” either.

I think that with the school holidays off you will manage it.

Try to get any major appointments or cleaning jobs organised for within the longer holidays.

I think if you are working FT with young children you need your DH to be doing his part at home and it sounds as if yours is.

It's also a big financial win and a lot less stress being able to be at home during school holidays.

Just seen you will be back home by 4.30 - yes definitely go for it. Particularly with the recommendations for on line shopping and a cleaner.

I would only say that unless you are seriously cramped then hold off the larger house for a while in case it does get too much and you have no choice but to continue the FT work to meet the mortgage.

ladyofmisrule I agree that it’s important to both set examples of working and parenting, however there are other ways to do this other than both parents work full time. We both work part time for example. I’m not saying this to mean your way is wrong, but to show another way of doing it 😁

*You have all the inheritance in place for this to be a brilliant option:

• Flexible DH doing the school run
• Kids with your mum 3 days
• school holidays off
• Money to pay for a cleaner

Every woman should have this and we'd change the sex pay gap in no time. Not to mention we'd get the country sorted and have a happier society.

Live the dream OP!*

When you put it like that I'd be crazy not to take it wouldn't I?

Thanks for all your replies. Confirmed what I thought anyway, which has helped a lot

I have two children 7 and 15 months. I have only just gone back full time (worked part time when I only had the eldest). For me working full time has been a revelation. I’m actually valued at work and at home in a different way. I get promoted at work and my dh and children help out more at home. Before I felt I did everything at home and at work. My mental health is much much better for it, my bank balance too.

It is hard I have learned to let go. I have a cleaner and I don’t fret about frozen meals once or twice a week. Or bought soup with a baguette if we are all home late. My eldest is thriving in after school club, he genuinely loves it. Emotionally I find the hardest thing not spending enough time with the baby. There is no upside to this. I miss him terribly and it hurts. But I get home at 6.30 not 4.30, you would still have plenty of time to interact with the baby. I do what I can ie we cosleep and I spend time with him in the mornings but it is hard.

I think the key is you are term time only

The job round here would be gold dust.

As long as you have time in the evening to give each child some one to one attention then go for it.