AIBU to work full time with 3 children?

[Lucyggy]

Have NC for this as it could be outing.

I have 3 DC aged 6, 4 and 12 months.

I am currently working my notice in my part time job after having been offered a full-time (term time only) position. I returned to my current position after maternity leave with DC3 and realised it just wasn't working for me. An opportunity arose for a job with a higher salary and much better career prospects and generally a better job!

However, I'm having a wobble about working full time. I haven't worked full time since I had DC1 6 years ago. We have childcare all worked out and DH's job is flexible so he can do school runs etc. I just keep thinking about how I will miss out on time with the DC. Particularly DC3. It's term time only so I will have all the school holidays off which is great, but of course that means I'm restricted to taking leave then so wouldn't be able to go to school plays etc. I'm worried about getting stuff done in the house, organising the kids activities and clubs etc.

I think I'm just having a panic but just wondering how many of you work/worked full time with 3 DC and was it actually do-able? I don't want to give up the opportunity but am having serious second thoughts!

Oh yes food. I batch cooked every sunday for the week ahead or we just ate rubbish constantly as i was too tired to cook.

My slow cooker all in 1 dishes were/are still my favourite - walk in, dish up, minimal washing up

Do you realistically think you will get this opportunity again OP? Term time jobs are hard to come by and career term time jobs even more so. Being home at 4.30pm is amazing for a full time job and if your OH has work flexibility so you can manage everything then that’s great.

By doing this now you are investing in all the school years ahead where a good term time job will reap huge rewards. There are 13 weeks school holidays a year when you will spend every waking hour with the children. Did your part time job allow that? Juggling work and the holidays is so difficult, sports and holiday clubs are both expensive and not that much fun when being relied upon for childcare. I say go for it and think of it as short term pain for long term gain.

@Lucyggy believe me, in 12 years time when you have one sitting A Levels, one sitting GCSEs and one considering their GCSE choices you will be so grateful of your 12 years seniority at work which will hopefully allow you some greater flexibility and maybe the option to job share or to go part time. In my experience children need you more at the tricky GCSE/A Level stage than they ever did in their younger years. Add in commitments to sport or extra curricular activities at a higher level whilst they negotiate friendships and broken hearts.
You will be VERY much in demand.
And don’t forget you might also get precious time with your youngest when their older siblings are at uni/college or leave home to start jobs. Go for it!

I worked full time with 6 children. It's achievable with Organization

Many women with 3 or more children work. OP take the job. Keeping in your career can be a huge benefit for your family in the long run. Hopefully you will be able to step back when they are older, need to be driven around more, and are more susceptible to peer pressures towards risky behaviours.

Working FT with 3 kids is my idea of a nightmare. I gave up work for a few years and really glad i did. I didnt have access to free childcare through a relative. We were skint and it felt sometimes a bit lonely but i loved it. However, that's me. Some people would go mad being off, some people hate being really skint so you have to do what keeps you sane. Especially if you have access to free childcare, and term time only, it sounds ideal.

School holidays off and your youngest spends three days a week with his nana? What is there not to like?

Go for it and get a cleaner.

IME, it's not about the hours, but how the job works with your life. I've done 22.5 hrs shift work - that didn't work. Now doing 30 hours day flextime and that works very nicely for us.

I wouldn't if you dont have to.
You are right about missing out with your children.
I know it's not a popular view to have on here and I understand many do not have the choice.
But time with your childre6as a parent is the most precious time there is and it's what they will always remember.

@Rubyupbeat the OP will have school holidays. It may surprise you that working parents also get quality time with their kids.

And what about dads? If you are a sahp, meaning your partner has to work, what about him getting quality time with the kids? Not very fair that he doesnt, working on your premises that working parents dont get time with their children.

If it's a job you'll enjoy and you want to do I'd go for it. Remember school hols are a quarter of the year so while you might miss your little un in the week, in the hols you'll see all of them all of the time and have zero child care costs/hassle.
But if it isn't a job you'd enjoy then I wouldn't do it.

@Anotherlongdrive
It's my opinion. School holidays are only a fraction of being with your child.
What about the taking and picking them up from school?
The having friends round after school, which all children love.
The being with them when they are sick, during the and day and night without feeling stressed about work in the morning.
The having your babies with you, taking time with them in the mornings, doing the activities with them, rather than rushing getting them up, dropping them off in a place full of babies.
Like I say, some people have to work, they have no choice, but if it's just for the cash, then yes, I feel it's the wrong choice. Your children remember the time you spent with them, the things you did together, not how nice their house was, how expensive their toys were.
And I said nothing about Dads? If Dads did the same, then great, they are with their parent who loves them, not because they are getting paid.
And those who say it's boring being at home with a child, well that is selfish.
Like I say I know it's not a popular view, but it's one I hold strong and always will.

My quality time with my 4 has dramatically increased since I started working full time. I'm a lot more present when I'm around because it's not all the time. I got very much stuck in a rut not working where everything was always 'I can do that tomorrow'.

My kids are a lot happier with me working. We can afford more days out as a family, whereas before our family time was always the same - a movie and a pizza at home. I have the money to get out on my own once in a while which gives me the break I need and makes me less stressed. And best of all they see how hard me and their dad work to give them the things they need and want. I hope that means they will go on to do the same.

Organisation is the hard part. Making sure there is someone for school events, that the house is kept in a reasonable state (doesnt always happen!) ect.

I think by the time your youngest is in school you will really be glad you made the decision. Yes it’s a rush getting in at 5/6/7 whatever and getting them sorted and in bed. But you’ll get so much more from being off in the holidays that it’ll be worth it.

If I had 3, I would have to work full time. Children are expensive, the more you have, the higher the cost unfortunately.

Seeing that it is term time only and that your mum will look after the youngest, it sounds very, very easy and doable.

Try working full time with young children, a long commute and no family support.

I think the term time only will balance it for you; be really organised during term time then use the holidays to crash a little and do all the things you might not get round to the rest of the time.
My main struggle is life admin/jobs like sorting out insurance, getting my hair done, making sure e kids have enough clothes etc but if you spend time sorting that out in the holidays it’s means term for you can just focus day to day.
Also online shopping and a cleaner

I have an almost 5 year old and a just turned two year old. I work full time (not term time only - that would be amazing!) and my husband works 4 days a week. We use a childminder during the 4 days we're both at work. I do feel I am missing out a bit so am about to put in a request to wfh one day a week with a shorter day to allow me to do one day of school drop off and pick up (youngest will still go to childminder in school hours).

Needs must - my salary is around 3 times my husband's so we had to make some tough decisions.

I do the same hours as your new job and have 4 children. It helps that I’m naturally organised, DH pulls his weight (works from home if one off sick etc as I can’t)

I batch cook and freeze, use the slow cooker, do quick and easy meals on the days they all have hot lunch at school, get up much earlier than the DC to get ahead, have a massive reset tidy up at the start of each holiday (including half terms). Load of laundry on every night so it is ready to hang on airer/outside in the morning, lunchboxes done night before.

Our household is much more evenly split in terms of housework etc now, I’m happy in a role which stretches me, DC see the benefit of extra money (enables extra curricular stuff) and I think I’m providing a better role model to my girls.

Of course you should do it - it sounds great! I work FT. Don’t worry too much about assemblies and plays. As they get older plays are after school, and many parents don’t make assemblies, and you may also find you can work overtime or work flexibly to cover a short appointment anyway.

I don’t work, but I am a full time Uni student doing a demanding degree (Biosciences) and have 3DC. Started when youngest D.C. was 1 and I went back to college.

It’s exhausting. It takes next level organisation and I have Inattentive ADD. I’m in 9-5 Mon/Tues/Thurs/Fri and half a day Wednesday.

I don’t get half terms off, 3 weeks at Christmas and Easter and 7 weeks over summer. So I feel there is still a decent amount of balance.

Just take it. You can always stop of it doesn't work for you. But term time jobs are hard to come by - especially ones where you are home by 4:15.

I'm one of 3. My parents both worked full-time.
A few of my friends' parents both worked full-time.
I never felt I missed out on anything. It was my 'norm'. I don't look back with any sense of wishing my parents had worked less. My mum's job was term time only. Neither were workaholics doing 16 hour days regularly. So we had plenty of time with them.

Just my thoughts.

I think the biggest problem will be missing the baby but at least she is with your mum 3 days and it's someone you are close to and will be an ongoing presence in her life. Apart from that I think it will work out well. Agree that ft career jobs in term time are rare and worth taking.

Three here (now 19, 21, 24). DH was full time SAHP then part time. It worked for us. Great for the DCs.

If you are both working and can afford it then outsource the chores as far as possible. This means that evenings and weekends stay as clear as possible.

You have all the inheritance in place for this to be a brilliant option:

• Flexible DH doing the school run
• Kids with your mum 3 days
• school holidays off
• Money to pay for a cleaner

Every woman should have this and we'd change the sex pay gap in no time. Not to mention we'd get the country sorted and have a happier society.

Live the dream OP!

Inheritance?! Ingredients!!