Less likely to include tea total friend?

[BombayPotatoes4]

Would you be less likely to include a tea total friend on nights out etc? Just wondering if they are seen as boring or if it is less of a stigma these days.

I drink, but not very much as I don't like the after effects . I know people who don't drink because 1) at one time it became a problem and they needed to quit or 2) for personal or religious reasons. But we still all go out together and socialise .

It depends on the people really. I was teetotal for 15 years and it did affect and inhibit relationships with some people

I think the stigma has changed and more and more people are free from something, vegan, alcohol etc

im pretty much tee total. It didnt make a difference to my good friends but you do lose some. booze can help cover up that you have nothing in common or worse don't enjoy someone's company.

When i was in my 20s some people did have a bigger problem and would make snide comments but that would generally be random people (maybe with their own alcohol issues).

I think you also over time tend to filter out bigger drinkers just cause you're not really going to socialise at the same thing if what they like is an all day bender.

I don't drink but always get invited to get togethers at friends me houses or to the pub. My friends don't really do night clubs or bars, and none of them are huge drinkers anyway. I have noticed that since I stopped drinking my friendship circles have shifted. I've not really got much in common with people who drink heavily anymore.

I stopped drinking and my "friends" stopped inviting me to things. Same people still wanted to be in touch when it suited them but actual social invitations all but dried up.

Me and my friends tend to do what your talking about over a bottle of fizzy drink and a takeaway or home cooked meal instead. Doesn't seem weird to me anymore. I do find I do more grabbing coffee and less going out in the evening being teetotal, but then giving up booze has run parallel with other changes in my life, like being unwell, a single parent with more responsibilities, and a total shift in my sleep routine, so that's all impacted to. I'm probably not as much fun with a capital F but I wasn't much fun drinking either.

I don't know, I always get the impression that a catch up over a bottle of wine is to both get a bit drunk and giggly. These sort of occasions I don't seem to be included in being a nondrinker.

IME, someone will always be driving anyway. Nice, or 'fun', or 'funny' or 'interesting' people are just that - nice, fun, funny, or interesting. They are that whether they are drinking wine, water, coffee, or anything else. None of my friendships need alcohol to sustain them, no.

Me and my husband gave up drinking two years ago and our invitations from friends have dwindled to zero. Just shows the priority is going out to get hammered for some people.

No of course not; one of my close friends doesn’t drink just because she doesn’t enjoy it and I’ll happily have a glass or two of wine at dinner with her or if she’s at my house. I spend time with her because I like her and whether she drinks or not has no impact on her company.

Wow is it spelt teetotal? I always thought it was tea - as in cup of tea.

Friends are friends irrespective of their choice about alcohol. However, if you have recently given up alcohol because of a lifestyle change and can't stop talking about it, or how the gym, or how some diet is fantastic. Then it's not the not drinking itself that stops the invitations.

I do like drinking. I also have some friends who don't drink much and some who don't drink at all - I would be more likely to meet non drinkers for coffee or a meal than suggest sitting in a pub for hours as I probably wouldn't drink in front of them. If it was a big group occasion then of course it doesn't matter.

I have met people through the years who didn’t drink for one reason or another as well as during our 20s/30s various friends would be pregnant or trying to conceive so not drinking plus designated drivers. So no, having a friend who is teetotal wouldn’t impact invitations. Only exceptions would be gin tasting or wine tasting events as I would think they would not enjoy this. While we do go to these things, it’s not often enough to make someone feel excluded (two to three max a year)

I dont drink, neither does dh. I can't say it has any real effect although people Express surprise. You also get the annoying drink pushers who tend to get worse the more they have.
It's not because of addiction...or religion...I just don't like the taste much and it tends to really upset my stomach so I avoid. I would have a fizz at a wedding perhaps but that should only be for the toast.

I have a friend who doesnt drink, two in fact. They still come alone but usually, not always, go home earlier than the others but it's not a big deal and we all have a great time whilst they're there

Come along*

Friends are friends irrespective of their choice about alcohol. However, if you have recently given up alcohol because of a lifestyle change and can't stop talking about it, or how the gym, or how some diet is fantastic. Then it's not the not drinking itself that stops the invitations.

This ^^

I don’t drink and it has killed off a few budding friendships. I got bullied for it at college- but that was many years ago.

I stopped drinking in my late teens. It 100% killed most of my friendships and now my circle only includes people who don't drink (or in addiction recovery).

I got very sad about it at the time because you realise you as less valuable to those people than getting pissed up.

I find people who think they need to have a drink to have fun boring.
Surely you can have a good time and a laugh with your friends regardless of what you drink!

Absolutely include them! I can take or leave alcohol and have been known to be just as silly, giggly and crazy on a night out with Diet Coke!

I have absolutely been excluded from group meet ups (pub crawls, "girl's night out" etc) or had budding friendships suddenly evaporate into thin air when people have discovered I am teetotal. Usually the excludes are heavy drinkers who become paranoid that I woul judge them in some way.

It sucks.

If you need alcohol to enjoy yourself then imo you have a problem. A friend used to drink until she was sick but she did enjoy

I’m teetotal and often don’t want to go on nights out if I know the drink will be flowing. Drinkers are fine to a point but too much alcohol and I can’t be bothered with them. Can’t be doing with loud and lairy behaviour - I’d rather be at home. It’s only funny to other drunk people. Don’t worry too much about not including them if your nights out end up like that.

I like a glass or two of wine,but wont drink at all if driving. That makes me TT every other time we go out !

I do like to drink wine when I go out to the pub or for a meal. But I don't particularly notice what the others in the group are drinking. On nights out in my younger days, a friend who wasn't drinking was much more fun to be around than a friend who was pissed and talking crap.

Often a non drinker is happy to drive as well, which would surely make them a desirable friend to have on nights out. (Although if I were that friend, I'd probably get fed up with playing chauffeur every time! I was treated as a chauffeur in my younger days because I was the only one in the group who happened to have a car.)