That dh shouldn’t go on about smells

[sugarloafdaffodil]

Dh is a bit of a smell police, particularly as regards food.

Anything that ‘smells’ is commented on. I gave the kids a salmon sandwich at the weekend and he said ‘ugh, what have they eaten, fish? I can smell it on them.’

God forbid if there’s curry, garlic, onion or anything.

It makes me paranoid and I think the kids will be too (they are 3 and 1 so a bit young to notice yet.)

Or AIBU?

I am cursed with an extremely sensitive nose. It's awful. At work I put Olbas oil on my collar, enough to make my eyes water just to try and block out the smell of people.
I can indeed smell when people have their period. It's rank. Do I ever say anything to anyone about body odours/breath/food? Never!

It's my problem!

At home I will say I'm sorry but that's making me feel ill and move away/go into a different room. It's my home and don't think I should remain mute. My DH would rather know the reason why I'm making a swift exit.

Everyone smells, most people just can't smell them. I can, I wish I couldn't. I wish I worked alone.

The salmon might have been slightly past its best. I usually find fish smells ok when it's fresh. That said I don't really cook it at home anymore because the house smells for a week afterwards!

Just because you are sensitive to it, it doesn't mean you need to comment on it. I hate people chomping away on crisps around me but I don't tell them to stop, it's my issue not theirs.

As you say, OP, DH will give the kids a complex about food and he needs to STFU.

I am very fussy about fish smells I'm afraid - I find it vile. DH and DS2 love kippers, DS1 is with me in revulsion. DH and DS2 are kind and eat their kippers in the kitchen with the door closed (ideally when DS1 and I are out), then put dishes/pans straight in dishwasher so as to contain the smell and not contaminate the sponge.

I'm lovely in RL, honestly I am never so vocal with other people as my own family though!

I hate strong smells however that doesn't mean it's my place to comment on them!

I'm sensitive to smells too I accidentally told my kids they smelt like cigarettes the other day after they came back from dads the eldest said yes daddy stinks can we have a bath please 😑 I had hoped they hadnt noticed the correlation between dads house and bath night coincidentally being on the same night but they do come home stinking like an ashtray

My ex used to drive me mad with this, but it wasn't just food. If we were out and stood in a queue next to someone smelly (often in our town haha) he would say loudly "Urghh what's that smell? It's REVOLTING!" and I was so embarrassed.

I don't care if he was more sensitive, he needed to learn that it wasn't appropriate to say.

He also used to tell me that my breath was disgusting in the morning. But isn't everyone's? His certainly was horrible, but I never said it! I woke up, had something to eat and brushed my teeth, so no problem.

Is he pregnant?

My ex-SIL is like this and it has totally affected her children. When my brother was married to her she would turn her nose up and repeatedly say 'Ugh, that stinks, it's disgusting' at almost anything he ate - even really normal stuff. And the children basically now think that everything that isn't a chicken nugget or chocolate is gross. And because both my brother and his ex-wife aren't great at teaching them manners, they will openly say this about food other people are eating or have cooked.

My eldest nephew is an adult and has admitted to me that he feels he really missed out on trying new foods when he was a child because his mum basically made him think that everything stank and would be disgusting. He only really started trying new foods because he got a Saturday job in a restaurant and realised that most people don't think, say, a Sunday roast or a chicken and ham pie 'stinks' or 'smells gross'.

Sorry i'm with him some people are just sensitive to this I’m sensitive to smells too, but there is no need for him to comment constantly. He is just being rude and a self absorbed jerk.

Fudge brownie I can smell sick people too, didn't realise what it was until I had children. Now they're teens I can still smell illness on them.
I've been in an awkward position before when adults I know not that wheel but see regularly are clearly unwell, long term, they don't know and I certainly can't tell them.

Smells are a major trigger for me (Aspie), to the point where my DH calls me the bloodhound. Could it be your DH has an ASD trait? For us it took a long road of sanitizing and negotiating to get to sort of an agreement we can both live with, so may it's worth taking into consideration? On the positive side, having a sensitive nose is protective with regards to dementia, ie less likely to develop it.

sensitizing, not sanitizing bl*dy autocorrect.

Tell him to shut his mouth.

If he isn't eating it, he doesn't need to comment at all, does he? There are other spaces in the house so he can leave the kitchen/dining area for ten minutes while a sandwich is being constructed and consumed.

He's busily laying foundations for faddy eaters, food refusers and even eating disorders. He sounds like a teenager, tbh. It's really rude and unsupportive.

Tell him to keep his mouth shut. This would have done my nut long before the getting married and having kids stage. Rude to comment.

Are those who are sensitive to food smells also really fussy eaters? I have a very heightened sense of smell too, but food smells never bother me, but I would try anything and would never comment on smells to other people.

Are those who are sensitive to food smells also really fussy eaters?

No, I eat pretty much everything! Bizarrely the only food I don’t like is almond.

I'm sensitive to smells but it doesn't make me a fussy eater, because although I can smell things most folk can't, generally I don't find food bad... although I had a tuna salad today and found I needed to ensure I was sitting a normal distance to eat it and not laying on sofa with my head close to it which originally I was, It was straight out a new tin and my husband couldn't smell it, but I could

The most embarrassing issue is I have a really bad reaction to other people's farts, it genuinely makes me gag. I retch and my eyes stream from it, my husband does a humourous impression of it, like a cat coughing up a hair ball.

My friends find it properly hysterical and roll about laughing. I literally retch several times and it's uncontrollable and really unpleasant for me. The same if someone makes a bad smell in the toilet, or a poorly maintained public toilet. If I'm forced to use it I can start retching as I do so.

People like that are so annoying. Perhaps he's got a particularly sensitive sense of smell. Nonetheless he should keep it to himself.

God forbid if there’s curry, garlic, onion or anything.

Clearly you've married a vampire (bet that also explains his cape and penchant for sleeping upside down).

YANBU. What a fusspot he sounds and rude too.

I eat anything and everything except mushrooms (it's more the texture, though the earthy smell is off-putting) and... goats' cheese! Even the mildest goat smells absolutely rank to me. I've had friends mix up chunks on a cheeseboard trying to catch me out, but it never works.

However, when others are eating it I would not dream of pulling a face or making a comment. A simple, "No thank you," suffices. And OP's DH was not even offered any so had no business saying anything.

Can't stand anyone cooking after 8pm because it makes me feel so ill.

That's definitely weird. Cooking at 1959 hrs OK, cooking at 2001 hrs 🤮. Why should the time change anything?

OP, your husband sounds like a rude twunt.

I don’t like a lot of smells but generally just open the window to air the house, which may also annoy my family but fresh air is fine.
I do really hate coming into the house with lingering cooking smells.