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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF School Mum

72 replies

TrixyaMattelodchikova · 10/11/2019 20:41

DC (junior school age) goes to various clubs after school. This particular one in question is in the early evening and I work just half a day that day so I do pick up and drop off. I or DH always do pick up and drop off at clubs. We don’t have much family help (not moaning, just context) so we ensure our schedules work as best as we can for DC and we don’t really rely on other school parents to provide pick ups/drop offs at all.

Child in DCs class also attends this club. They’re not best friends but are friendly enough.

I’m not friends but friendly-ish with said child’s mum. She is a MLM bot and has tried and failed for years to recruit me. I think she’s finally realised I’m not interested.

The other week I drop DC off and as I’m leaving see CF dropping her child off and I wave hello.

I get home (it’s a long club and we don’t live far) to a message to ask if I can pick up her child from the club as her husband is poorly. I say fine. I’ve done it literally twice before in many years so I’m not too bothered usually but this time I was a bit miffed as she knew I had had some really horrible bad news this week so I’ve been really down and wanted to just pick DC up and get on with my evening.

I pick DC and CFsChild up. The child didn’t know I was picking up and said blithely as they got into the car “my mum probably couldn’t be bothered to pick me up”.

I drop the child off home and their teenage sibling answered the door. Child asked where their mum was and sibling said “oh she has gone to the local restaurant/bar”. I text CF and told her I had dropped Child off and to enjoy her evening. She simply responded “thanks”.

AIBU to be annoyed and feel like I’ve been taken for a mug? I’m feeling bad about my awful news so I’m not sure if I’m overreacting so need some Vipery Perspective.

I won’t be picking up the CFChild in future let me tell you that for nothing!

OP posts:
TrixyaMattelodchikova · 10/11/2019 20:41

Edit to add fuck the Daily Mail etc just in case my boring tail is newsworthy.

OP posts:
TrixyaMattelodchikova · 10/11/2019 20:42

*tale not tail. Jeez!

OP posts:
LissJas · 10/11/2019 20:43

I think you may be overreacting......

Sorry about your bad news Thanks

AppleKatie · 10/11/2019 20:44

I’m not sure if I could get this worked up about this.

Next week ask her to pick up your DC and have a quiet evening in!

Or don’t and say no next time. Either way don’t lose sleep!

MayFayner · 10/11/2019 20:44

I’d be annoyed but at the same time it’s very shortsighted of her.

Now you won’t be an option when she really does need a dig-out.

Time4Change0 · 10/11/2019 20:44

You had me at MLM bot.

Yep she’s a CF

TheReluctantCountess · 10/11/2019 20:45

That was cheeky of her. Next time make sure you say no.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 10/11/2019 20:45

That's pretty sad for the kids. There is nothing wrong with helping someone out once. Next time obviously you wont. Why people burn bridges for help is beyond me.

noeyedeer · 10/11/2019 20:47

Hmm. Maybe dad was ill and would've done pick up because mum had a longstanding arrangement? I wouldn't necessarily see this as her being a CF. I'm sorry about your bad news.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 10/11/2019 20:48

New here. Apologies if being dense - MLM?

Vulpine · 10/11/2019 20:48

Of course she's a cf

Marriedwithchildren5 · 10/11/2019 20:49

@LissJas huge difference between I'm out tonight can you please help out -to badly thought out lie which was rumbled pretty quick. It's not rocket science. Do people often rely on you for help?

LeGrandBleu · 10/11/2019 20:51

100% YANBU!!

I have an arrangement with a mum that lives 200 mt from my house an she takes DD to a sport activity as changes in my work two months mean I can't anymore. I have offered to do the pick ups but the mum likes to stay so I have only picked her son once. But every week, I bake something for them, alternating between sweet and savoury , sometime a bread, and I am also extremely grateful and tell her I don't want her to feel resentful at any time and that if it does;t work for her anymore, to not hesitate to tell me.
When Christmas comes, I will give her a gift, there is tiny boutique which has small beautiful bags.

I am sorry about your bad news and that mum was a cow

pottypotamus · 10/11/2019 20:56

Yes she's a CF for making up that her husband is poorly. Just refuse next time she asks.

fedup21 · 10/11/2019 20:56

Well, she’s shot herself in the foot there!

User3421090989098 · 10/11/2019 21:02

I don’t see a massive issue I wouldn’t be saying I’m never helping her again maybe her husband was ill and she had a meeting or something? If it wasn’t a huge imposition and not a regular thing just let it go. Sorry about your bad news.

CalmdownJanet · 10/11/2019 21:03

I couldn't get worked up about this, she probably had a night out planned and her dh was to do pick up, he was sick, she asked could you do it so she didn't miss her night out, you could have said no. Not worth getting worked up about, and whatever about thread worthy it's definitely not daily mail worthy 😂

Sorry to hear you have had bad news though, that could be what's making this seem worse.

MegaBlock · 10/11/2019 21:04

LeGrand you sound lovely! I take my dcs friend and their sibling to school most days as their parents work (this is my 4th year of doing it) and I barely get a thank you never mind a gift.

Yanbu though. Maybe the husband is actually poorly though and she had arranged to go out? Who knows. Sorry about your news Flowers

Pipsandpops · 10/11/2019 21:06

Maybe her husband was poorly and she had pre arranged plans? You could have said no.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/11/2019 21:11

Maybe her husband was poorly and she had pre arranged plans?

And the Daily Mail won’t care Grin

Lulualla · 10/11/2019 21:24

Around here, it's totally normal for one parent to drop off and pick up a few kids if we all live in the same general direction. It's call car pulling; much better for the environment and a lot fewer people trying to get into and out of the car park.

You're both going to the same place, and must live fairly close to each other. Why isn't this a regular thing? Do you really both drive up and down separately every week?

It's really not cheeky.

tararabumdeay · 10/11/2019 21:25

So what happened. You picked up a child and dropped off child a few meters from your home one night now you're outraged at cf.

Can't see the issue. It's called being kind and community minded.

GleamInYourEyes · 10/11/2019 21:28

I don't see the problem? She had plans, the husband (who was presumably supposed to pick up) was poorly so she asked you.

Just suggest she picks up next week? Or maybe alternate?

formerbabe · 10/11/2019 21:28

Ok, so she was out and her dh was ill...not the end of the world, although generally stuff like this annoys me. I'd rather drag myself out when unwell to pick my dc up than ask another parent for a favour.

ThatMuppetShow · 10/11/2019 21:30

YABU

nowhere have you seen that her DH is NOT poorly.
Reasonable request, not sure why you are getting worked up about it.