Worried about leaving DH

[TheMustressMhor]

….for a week while I go four hundred miles away to see our DC.

I shall be gone a week. What will he do? Will I return to find the toilet roll on the wrong way round, as I did the last time I went away? Will I discover that he didn't change the tea towel while I was miles away?

What would you worry about in these circumstances?

(Light-hearted, obviously)

Mine will wash pots with the dishcloth that he has left standing in water, rather than the plastic brush which I know is hygienic as I regularly put it through the dishwasher. He also wears the tea towel over his shoulder, and does other unspeakable things with it. There are only a limited number of legitimate uses for a tea towel. He may also be making himself chips...

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants

You are correct.

There are indeed only a limited number of uses for tea towels.

And can you share with us the unspeakable things your DH does with the tea towel?

I realise that this may be emotionally disturbing for you but you will receive support on this thread, I assure you.

Aargh>

Will be plump up the cushions every night before he goes to bed?

Mine would definitely never change hand or tea towels in kitchen. Would not change bathroom towels or make the bed "what's the point I'm getting back into it". Also likes to leave out anything he might need on work surface so dog's daily medication keeps being left there by him and removed by me. Will put things which can be recycled into upstairs bins so they don't get recycled and wouldn't think to throw away mouldy food from fridge or bread bin.

Never mind the cushions, will he draw the curtains?

Years ago a friend once left my house with her DC wearing one of my tea towels as an emergency nappy

I feel better now it's out.

This summer I flew to my sister's house and helped her drive to her new city and was gone 2.5 days and was afraid of returning to a smoking crater where my house used to be but just found the usual dirty dishes and laundry and one happy family to have me back home

@myimaginarycathasfleas, he won't even open the curtains in the first place.

He'll spend his hours sat in the Stygian gloom, warm, cheap beercan in hand whilst three televisions are on, the radio in the kitchen and videos on his laptop run simultaneously.

Cheap beer can in hand

Are we married to the same DH perchance?

@MarianaMoatedGrange

I am actually quite impressed to hear about this novel use for a tea towel.

But surely a small hand towel would have been more suitable as an emergency nappy?

Does yours twat about on a guitar for hours on end, too? If so, maybe we could come to some sort of timeshare arrangement?

I'd suggest he changes the quilt covers at mine on Saturdays as I'm a short arse and struggle with it, washes the windows inside and then pops back to yours Sunday teatime?

@MitziK

I'd rather have him back after Sunday teatime as that is when I serve a sumptuous roast dinner.

If he stays at yours until Monday morning I won't have the bother of cooking it.

Just had a terrible thought.

Will he remember to wipe over the kettle on a daily basis? It is situated right beside the cooker and gets splashed somewhat.

this may be why I keep buying new kettles

..not to mention wiping the dust which collects on the hoover once a week.

He doesn't seem to do this even when I nag him about it

Will he give me cat treats?

Oh dear, he cooks the sumptuous roast dinner here - perhaps I shouldn't say that, though?

I do have to wipe my own vacuum cleaner, though - and kettle, toaster and other appliances.

Went away to stay with my mum for a few days whilst my children were infant/junior age.
I came back to find a clean house, washing done and children and husband perfectly contented!!!
I was absolutely furious to have nothing to nag/ complain about!

It's worse than we expected - he's being unfaithful to DTwatCat #1 and 2. Although he has bought them Dreamies this week.

Wiping household appliances

I run a course on this in my spare time.

@1Morewineplease

How appalling to get home and find nothing to complain about.

I was wondering if he would remember that I do not like Whiskas

He brings home bags of Lily's Kitchen here.

DTwatCat#2 is somewhat high maintenance.

and has the evilest guts in the world on Whiskas

Re-wiping appliances

He does this weird thing before we go to bed. He uses one of those sticky lint rollers on the quilt cover to get the cat hairs off it.

So why can't he wipe the outside of the hoover?

@MitziK

Mine does not twat about on a guitar endlessly.

DS does though.