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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Maternity ward visitors

79 replies

Neednameinspiration · 09/11/2019 13:38

Gave birth yesterday and now on maternity ward. Had a difficult night last night with not a lot of sleep as struggled with some feeding issues. The woman in the next door bed has had a steady stream of visitors all day so far, sometimes as many as six or seven at a time! I assume these visits are all prescheduled as a new load turn up as soon as another are leaving, then have a really loud few minutes while they "change over". I'm desperate for a snooze and they are so loud and keep bumping into the curtain between the beds😣 . I get they are all very excited but it is impossible to rest and they are constantly using the shared en suite bathroom which is supposed to be for patients only. I also feel really uncomfortable delicately walking across the room in a hospital gown in front of a crowd. AIBU to speak to midwife?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 09/11/2019 14:54

Congratulations on your new baby Smile

Definitely say something. You’re unlikely to get much sleep anyway but some quiet will help. Hope feeding is going well now. Ask for help if you need it, they should have specialists around.

Bloke23 · 09/11/2019 14:57

When my wife was in, i was aloud in at any time of the day being her partner! But there was certian times for visitors and only 2 at a tine

CookPassBabtridge · 09/11/2019 15:01

Yes this happened to me, they visited ALL DAY and never stopped talking. In and out while the rest of us are trying to hobble to the toilet in an open backed gown bleeding and leaking. Let's just say they were another culture.

BellatrixLestat · 09/11/2019 15:08

Do they allow visitors all day?

We were only allowed two at a time within one two hour timeslot in the day. The rest of the day was partners only and they had to leave at night.

They were the worst two hours of the day (was in for a week with second DC). I cannot imagine how horrible it would be having them all day!

BellatrixLestat · 09/11/2019 15:09

Whenever I read these posts I feel so happy I gave birth in a private hospital with my own room with a shower and toilet en-suite. It’s already hard enough being a brand new mum without strangers invading your privacy and causing you discomfort in a place where the focus should be on patients recovery and wellbeing.

Not really helpful for OP that really is it?

AmIThough · 09/11/2019 15:13

Definitely complain!
And congratulations Smile

Quitedrab · 09/11/2019 15:14

YANBU at all. I hope you get some peace and quiet soon!

Xyzzzzz · 09/11/2019 15:16

Please say something. It’s totally a disregard for you and your feelings. I managed to get a private room after birth but before that I was on a ward and it was horrible.

Honeybee85 · 09/11/2019 15:20

@BellatrixLestat

I just meant that I can imagine how awful it must be being in OP’s situation as it is already really hard being a new mum without all kinds of nuisance caused by visitors from other patients.

Venger · 09/11/2019 15:21

Definitely say something to the midwife and if she doesn't address it then ask them for PALS phone number, they'll almost certainly do something about it then.

MrsWillGardner · 09/11/2019 15:24

I’ve iust remembered that my maternity hospital have the ‘open curtain’ rule too. I’m due in April. Who wants to feed and be asleep in front of bloody strangers?? Not me.

Honeybee85 · 09/11/2019 15:45

I’ve iust remembered that my maternity hospital have the ‘open curtain’ rule too.

Why do maternity wards have this rule? I would think the majority of women would feel this as an invasion of their privacy....

MrsWillGardner · 09/11/2019 15:56

@Honeybee85

So they can keep an eye on you and it’s better for ventilation, or so I was told.

Honeybee85 · 09/11/2019 16:00

@MrsWillGardner

Ventilation? Hmm

I think it’s just easier for them to do their job, so it’s not really about the comfort of their patients.

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/11/2019 16:06

They keep the curtains open because at some hospitals women / kids have died because the mw hasn’t spotted something until their rounds.

theboxfamilytree · 09/11/2019 16:15

God, our hospitals are a fucking disgrace.

PrayingandHoping · 09/11/2019 16:15

Curtains open? Errr private rooms have doors! My door wasn't kept open!

Sounds like certain hospital policy to me. Bonkers

Honeybee85 · 09/11/2019 16:17

@grumpyhoonmain

Shock that’s horrible

When I was in the hospital whenever I wanted to take a shower I had to ring the nurse to come over and take DS to the nursery for as long as I was in the bathroom. At that time I thought it was a bit exaggerated as he was mostly firmly asleep and I would be only 2 steps away but I guess this rule sterms from the risk of situations as you described above.

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/11/2019 16:24

Yeah it’s a disgrace. @PrayingandHoping many hospitals don’t offer private rooms to women who have complications as a result.

jgjgjgjgjg · 09/11/2019 16:28

Why are you still in hospital OP if you gave birth yesterday? Unless you really really need to be there for a very convincing medical reasons I'd suggest staying very firmly that you will be discharging yourself at X time and do that.

LittleTopic · 09/11/2019 16:29

I feel for you.

I had to stay in for two days because of my c-section and I was desperate to get home. At one point, a random man pulled my curtains open having got the wrong bay, and exposed me breastfeeding DD to a group of about 25 people.

wishywashywoowoo · 09/11/2019 16:38

Please say something OP, I doubt it's just you that they are bothering.

I don't understand how the staff are allowing this to happen as (I thought) all visitors need to buzz the nurses station to gain entry to the ward via locked doors and then say who they are visiting. It should be obvious if someone has a whole load of visitors coming in?

Hope you manage to get some rest and not too long til you get home with your new baby.

middlemuddle · 09/11/2019 16:39

YANBU, this is not allowed in our hospital except for dads who can stay. Tbh I didn't realise this was a thing in other hospitals and is absolutely outrageous. It's an invasion of privacy for mums at a very delicate time.

Kaykay06 · 09/11/2019 16:39

Go home if you can, I wouldn’t stay for more time than I needed to.
Decent midwives are probably busy dealing with mothers and babies and haven’t noticed your neighbours excessive visitors - or they don’t want a mouthful of abuse which is what I get on children’s ward I work in if I dare to say visiting is over:too many to a bed or curtains need to remain open/night lights on.
I gave birth in triage with ds3 then on the ward with ds4 left after 6 hours with ds4 but ds3 was in nicu for a few days and my neighbour whose baby was in nicu quite prem and sick had loads of visitors loud etc but she was v young and frightened and her baby remained in hospital long after we got home so I wasn’t going to say anything to make things worse for her. I did ask to be moved when my baby was discharged and was to room in for a night (bit insensitive) but we ended up just going home an hour or two after he came up to post natal from nicu
Never been so glad to leave

PrayingandHoping · 09/11/2019 16:40

@GHM I spent my first night post c section in HDU after complications.... HDU in my hospital was all private rooms thank goodness!