Not to give the children a lift home?

[damnilovejam]

I work quite a long way from home, full time. DS had arranged to go trampolining after school with his friends tonight. I told DS to let his friends know that I was happy to collect them all when I finished work and to drop them all back home after trampolining.

They were going to walk to the trampolining place, but at 4pm, whilst I was still at work, it transpired that one of the parents had offered to drive their child and one other. My son asked for a lift and the message back via the son was that she "isn't a fucking taxi". We live a two minute drive from her house. Fine, I booked an actual taxi to get DS to the trampolining centre on his own.

AIBU to tell DS I will not give the other boys a lift home now and that they will need to call their own parents to collect them?!

The boys are 12-13, for context.

Drop the kid off, knock on the door and say unlike you I am a fucking taxi and just walk way

No! Don't do it!

I thought the other boy sounded embarrassed too. There's no way I'd be punishing him for his mum being unfair and having a very crap attitude with her lifts. If she had enough space in her car why the hell leave a kid out? Makes no sense. For all she knew that meant your son then couldn't go. But that's not HER sons fault. I'd still give him a lift home if he needed one.

Alarming how many if you here went straight on the offensive.....it reveals a complete lack of social skills

What's wrong with finding out the facts before attacking back!

I think that on so many MN threads @Catwaving.

I then remember it on the regular threads about people not having any friends..........

Poor boys. Both of them.

Very thoughtless of the other mother.

I would probably just let it all go. It sticks in the craw, but it isn't her who misses out if you respond in kind.

I’d take him home
It’s not the kids fault

I'd give the boy a lift home just because I couldn't leave him there alone but I'd never give him a lift ever again

I can see it’s been sorted but I would have taken them home.
As a PO noted, it was towards their own child, not yours. She was annoyed and might have been having a bad day.
Just get them. Maybe next time they’ll get yours.
No drama.

She was having a go at her son not your son.

The fact the woman swore at a child (her own) makes me think she’s having a stressful day. She could have been asked numerous times by her child to pick up and drop off this one and that one. She’s just had enough and I totally get that.

I imagine she’d be mortified at her text being common knowledge.

She surely can’t have known you had issues with being at work when your son needed a lift. The boy didn’t say ‘mum can we pick up wee Johnnie as well as his mum is at work and if I get a lift without him he’d have to walk home in the dark alone now I’m not there to walk with him’. So without that clear explanation the mum would have no clue to the issues your son faced.
I don’t think it’s fair to take out issues surrounding a misunderstanding with her and cause a fallout which may affect your son hanging with the other wee boy.
Just pick them all up and drop them off on days when you can, and that way you have a favour owed for those times you can’t get home from work. Make sure you thank the other mum when she’s done you a favour, along the lines of thank you so much for running Johnnie home, I had to work and it saved me booking him a taxi with a stranger driving, I’ll get them next time and bring them home as long as it’s before or after my work. thanks.

Sod them, two can play at that game

I'd pick up the other child as it seems he is not the party at fault. I would then message saying due to problems tonights my son will make his way to the event and I will collect him. Sorry you feel I have been using you as a taxi service.

Hellllll no. Sucks to punish the kids for the parents shitty behaviour but I would not be giving them a lift.

The msg was for her son - Surely she’d be mortified to know that you knew. I would pick them all up and tell the boy straight out that you thought it was mean of his mum to leave you DS out since he lives so close but although you are also “not a fucking taxi” you wouldn’t leave one boy out.

I really hope Mumsnet is a weirdly skewed sector of the population, and not a true representation of how women are and think in general

I don’t think it sounds like the boys want to be friends with your son. They arranged their lifts and excluded him, then arranged to stay out later without him. Why didn’t they ask him if he could stay later too? I’d be inclined to think it’s more the boys excluding him rather than a mum refusing a lift. They might have just said she couldn’t take him without actually asking her.

I’d send a text to all the parents of the children saying something like him, I’m happy to pick the boys up from trampoline place and drop them home if anyone can offer DS a lift there please’. And pretend that I haven’t seen the horrid message passed on by the child.

I’ve been to a party before. All the girls were invited from my daughter’s class. All the cliquey in group girls arrived in the 2 cars of the 2 parents and me and a couple of the misfit parents arrived and had to sit in a cafe through the whole party to wait for it to finish as the distance was too far to go home and back. Seems some parents in cliques will offer lifts and others won’t. Obviously there weren’t enough spaces for everyone in the 2 cars but it was clear that an effort had been made for certain kids and not others. Another party saw birthday child’s parents take all birthday party kids so no parents had to go and sit through said party. They had bigger cars. Sorry going a bit off track. But wonder if there’s a clique situation for OP.

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I would give the child a lift because I would hate to punish a child for their shit parent. I would also tell the mum that she is an ass and how petty to refuse a child a lift. Absolute peasant.

Yes, And why can't you see that you're being unreasonable? FFS! Rise above it. Listen to yourself. 12/13 year olds? Precious.