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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to give the children a lift home?

97 replies

damnilovejam · 08/11/2019 19:42

I work quite a long way from home, full time. DS had arranged to go trampolining after school with his friends tonight. I told DS to let his friends know that I was happy to collect them all when I finished work and to drop them all back home after trampolining.

They were going to walk to the trampolining place, but at 4pm, whilst I was still at work, it transpired that one of the parents had offered to drive their child and one other. My son asked for a lift and the message back via the son was that she "isn't a fucking taxi". We live a two minute drive from her house. Fine, I booked an actual taxi to get DS to the trampolining centre on his own.

AIBU to tell DS I will not give the other boys a lift home now and that they will need to call their own parents to collect them?!

The boys are 12-13, for context.

OP posts:
minababelina · 08/11/2019 20:40

Of course you should give them a lift! They will learn more from your actions than from their parents’ reaction. I’d do that if it didn’t cost me much.

Yappy12 · 08/11/2019 20:54

Hope you said the same, that you're not a fucking taxi.

Whattodoabout · 08/11/2019 20:56

YANBU. I’d tell your DS you’re not an Uber so his friends can all find their own way home.

Drum2018 · 08/11/2019 20:56

Well at least you know never to offer that boy a lift again.

ivykaty44 · 08/11/2019 21:22

I expect it was an off the cuff remark by the mum and she didn’t expect it to be repeated, probably had no idea the ops son would then be left walking alone. The other lad probably didn’t explain well if you don’t he can’t come or walk alone etc so she didn’t realise what the repercussions of her remark were

Fantababy · 08/11/2019 21:27

What a way to talk to your child though.

shiningstar2 · 08/11/2019 21:30

I think from now on I would be making it clear that I would be expecting reciprocal lifts. Eg. Yes I can take you all if one of the other parents can bring you all back.

ivykaty44 · 08/11/2019 21:32

Fanta baby

I’ve said such things

I’m not a taxi service

I’m not sure it’s that controversial to say something like that

Lucinda88 · 08/11/2019 21:39

Did she really say that? People dont actually say that to 12 to 13 year olds do they ?

Ginfordinner · 08/11/2019 21:48

But why would she just take one friend and not the other? It sounds petty and mean spirited..

savingshoes · 08/11/2019 21:49

I would collect all the children and when you drop this child off at his home I would then park up and walk him to his door and wait for his parents to answer the door.
Then I would challenge the adult politely.
Your son has done his bit - as a child he's informed you as the adult that there was an issue between him and another adult that resulted in him being left behind.
He tried to work it out but now I think it's down to you to discuss it directly with the other parent.

cdtaylornats · 08/11/2019 22:05

Don't take it out on the kids

Fantababy · 08/11/2019 22:08

ivykaty There's a significant difference between 'I'm not a taxi service' and 'I'm not a fucking taxi service'. I can't imagine using the latter to my pre- teen child.

gamerwidow · 08/11/2019 22:11

To be fair to the mum she didn't text your son to say 'I'm not a fucking taxi' it was a message to her own son which shouldn't have been passed on.
This is less about being mean to your son and more about a mum's annoyance with her own son for being put on the spot and being expected to sort out lifts for his friends at the last minute.
We've probably all spoken crossly to our own kids in a way that would look shit if it was repeated.

Quartz2208 · 08/11/2019 22:11

You have no idea what she knew or said though as it was via DS and his friend

MesmorisedByTheLights · 08/11/2019 22:13

I would give the lift as arranged, in case the kids get stranded for whatever reason (can't get hold of parents etc), but never again after this occasion.

ivykaty44 · 08/11/2019 22:15

Fantababy I swear to much, sorry I hadn’t noticed the fucking 😮

WishITookLifeSeriously · 08/11/2019 22:20

I hope you took him to the door and asked for your fare as it seems it's ok for you to be a fucking taxi service!

PotteryLady · 08/11/2019 22:28

I would of said of course I will give your mates a lift - I'm not a taxi BUT I am a mom - no problem.

catlady3 · 08/11/2019 22:32

As someone who's had their mother change her mind quite a lot and been stuck, including in front of friends... Do pick them up as agreed. It's not their fault. Maybe talk to that mom? But you should be the adult in this, show them they can rely on you.

BackforGood · 08/11/2019 22:35

To be fair to the mum she didn't text your son to say 'I'm not a fucking taxi' it was a message to her own son which shouldn't have been passed on.
This is less about being mean to your son and more about a mum's annoyance with her own son for being put on the spot and being expected to sort out lifts for his friends at the last minute.
We've probably all spoken crossly to our own kids in a way that would look shit if it was repeated.

This ^

I know it's gone now, but I would certainly have been the bigger person. 12 - 13 yr olds are generally just beginning to start making their own arrangements. They don't get it right all the time. I suspect the friend dropped his Mum in it and didn't explain the situation / make arrangements in advance. The Mum was annoyed She didn't speak to your son like that, she was annoyed at her own son and was not expecting to be quoted verbatim in a text. I should imagine the friend hadn't explained that OP's ds's Mum was going to bring the 3 of them back and that they could all walk together if for whatever reason his Mum couldn't take all three

Do you know, even if the Mum were being unkind, I still wouldn't take it out on the boys - your ds's friends.

Potnoodledoo · 08/11/2019 22:39

To be fair to the mum she didn't text your son to say 'I'm not a fucking taxi' it was a message to her own son which shouldn't have been passed on.

True,but she still didnt give the ops son a lift.Who does that.She could have brought her own son and left the other 2 to walk together.

People forget that they may need a favour at some point,so for the sake of a last minute lift.

messolini9 · 08/11/2019 22:42

Why would you punish the boy(s) for their parent's meanmindesness?

I would give them both a lift home, ensuring I accompany the boy with the offending parent to his door, & breezily tell the parent "hi, I'm not a fucking taxi either, but neither do I randomly decide to leave one of my son's friends out when I am driving them to a destination anyway".

FabbyChix · 08/11/2019 22:43

Don’t give him a lift you aren’t a fuking taxi some people are just arseholes just play them at their own game

FrangipaniBlue · 08/11/2019 22:59

I read that exchange as the boy seemed embarrassed that his mum wouldn't take your DS, seemed like he didn't want to tell your DS at first.

For that reason alone I'd be the bigger person and drop them all off.

You'll be remembered among DS friends as the kind mum who gave lifts, not the miserable one who moaned.

Who gives a flying fig about the other mum and what she thinks.

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