DD keeps giving away her things!

[LeoAugust13]

My DD (5years old) keeps giving away her things to one kid in her class as she keeps asking her for her things. I’ve never bothered about it before as it’s been minor things that I can easily replace, but now it’s getting ridiculous it seems to be everyday. I’m not working so having to replace these small items is costing me.

I’m also annoyed that this girls mum must notice her kid coming home with these new items but has not said anything. I don’t know where to go from here what action if any should I take? I’ve spoken to DD today and her response is the other kid wants it do she gives it to her. I don’t want to cause any issues in her friendships but how to approach? Any advice appreciated

I spoke to mum today! She said she will get her DD to give back the things. I feel slightly bad as I spoke to my DD again and she started crying saying she wants “name” to keep her clips n gloves!

Sorry the poster who asked about if she does this at home - no definitely not! My DD will not share anything with any of us. Parenting is really difficult! I’m constantly telling her “sharing is caring” but it annoys me when she gave away her stuff, it must be really confusing for her

If she doesn't usually share at home she is over compensating. She may be frightened of losing the friendship, she is pulling out all the stops like with a new date.
This friendship may be controlling, I would keep my eye on it and encourage her to play in groups.

Sharing is totally different to actually gifting something, totally different.
I’ve never forced my son to share, and he’s extremely generous as a result.
Anything precious to him we hide when cousins or friends come round, it’s important for children to learn how to respect their things and this can mean protecting belongings in some cases.

Glad it sorted.
I was going to say label everything, even write her name on underside of hair slides .
You have to tell her that names mum will get her her own gloves and such. That mummies get them and that she needs them for herself.

It is neither easy being a parent or a kid, she is trying hard to make friends.

I’m constantly telling her “sharing is caring” but it annoys me when she gave away her stuff, it must be really confusing for her

Yes indeed.

Sharing is often urged by parents faced with all the whining and sniping and crying of a dispute between siblings as a means of stopping the noise nuisance - the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Better by far to show that you respect whatever boundaries she is trying to put in place at home. Teach the poacher to respect the No.

Anything precious to him we hide when cousins or friends come round, it’s important for children to learn how to respect their things and this can mean protecting belongings in some cases.

YY to that, VenusTiger.

I did that with my own DCs. As teens they never had fights over clothes, and I never had any issues with my make up or jewellery going missing or getting destroyed.

You are expecting a 5 year old to be assertive but appear to have issues with being assertive yourself.

You are her parent and you will be guiding her through relationship dynamics. Given her reluctance to share her things with siblings, your DD is capable of saying no but there is something about this particular dynamic where she struggles.

Talk to the teacher and your DD and stop replacing her stuff.